Online dating or fostering children?!

[Tiramisu]

So, most of you only have second hand knowledge of this, but I checked out Christian ingles.com and was surprised at how many guys are on there. Problem is that I can't see myself ever dating again. One of my co-workers, Rudy, who was my boss for awhile a couple years back, is single now and we've talked about hanging out, but definitely just as buds.

I'm thinking very seriously about going to an information meeting next week on fostering children. My kids so no, but my heart says do it. My sis has fostered for almost 30 years and adopted 4 of them. I'm crazy.

[gja1000]

NO! you are not crazy!!! Go with your heart - for sure. I can' t EVER see myself dating again, nope don't think that will ever happen. But if your heart says so, I'd say go for it. I think it is so wonderful when people take care of foster children. I could never do that, I just don't have the patience or temperment. But goodness knows, someone needs to reach out to those kids! You'll make the right decision.

Oh! And of COURSE, there are lots of men on the dating service thing - they can't get along without a women. HA! I think however, a woman can get along JUST FINE without a man! (just my opinion).

[Lindsey]

Sandy, I have to agree with Gayle on all points!

My great-aunt fosters children. Some of these kids are in such horrible condition when they come to her. One was born to a heroin-addicted mother, and the baby was addicted itself, and my aunt had to give the baby morphine and wean her off it. She gave the baby a chance at a better life, because she would not be alive otherwise. One of her fosters, nicknamed "Lucky" was born with heart problems and had to have open heart surgery within days of being born. He survived. My aunt fostered him for 3 years, and then his mother came back and wanted to take him. I think she was able to do that if he wasn't adopted by some point. So, my aunt adopted him. She couldn't stand to see him go back to a mother who could not care for him.

Her husband passed away and like you, she didn't want to date again. She had her own little foster family, and grown children and grandchildren as well. She spent a lot of time in Mexico with her sister. Then, she met a man down there and a couple of years later, they were married! He lives up here now and they're a happy family together.

I think you just need to follow your heart and happiness will find you eventually!

[Tiramisu]

Wow, I was so afraid you'd all tell me to live a good single life. I'll go to the meeting and make my decisions. Thanks

[Janet]

Sandy....I think it would be nice to have foster children, but I no longer have the patience I'm afraid. I do want to offer one bit of advice that I've always remembered.... to not do anything after a life changing event such as a death, divorce..etc. for 6 months to a year. It made a lot of sense to me and I've always remembered it. Just something to think about.

If it's what's in your heart...then you'd be great at it.

[judy]

Good for you Sandy! Put your toe in all of the waters! You will know what is best for you, and it is wonderful that you are beginning your life as a divorced woman! It can be very exciting to start over, especially when you have life experience and wisdom!

Follow your instincts!

[DianaB]

I'm afraid that I agree with Janet. Take some time for yourself to recouperate from your divorce and being single again.......THEN make a decision about this. Take some time first to just become used to the life you have now.....which I'm sure is so different from what you had....before you decide to make such a life changing decision. Good luck!!!

[JJJ]

I have never foster kids but I think thats a great idea.

I have done the on-line dating before. And I absolutely love it. I do not go there looking for love just friendship. Someone who will take you out to have dinner, movies talk and laugh. Get as many dinner dates as you can.

I am very careful and only chat with them on the website. I do not give out my number or e-mail. I meet them at the location and that's it. Most men just want company for a bit. I am very upfront about telling them not to get their hopes up.

[Tiramisu]

I went to the informations meeting this evening, praying that I would find something to turn me off about foster/adopting, but I feel stronger about it now. Of course, I can't do anything until I'm divorced and have a bigger place, so that'll probably be after the first of the year.

[Janet]

Good to get all the info you can and get all your questions answered. It's also good that it won't be right away....you'll still have time to yourself.

[judy]

As long as it suits you, fostering children can be wonderful! If it never happens, going to the meetings sounds great for info, and as a way to meet really good hearted new friends!

[Tiramisu]

I've decided that I'm going through the training to get certified. If I can help one child ... It will be worth it. If i meet a man for companionship that will be a plus, but the child will be my priority. Thanks for your support on my new journey.

[Janet]

Good for you for being able to make a decision and then go for it. I sure envy you Sandy. I know you'll make a wonderful foster parent. Some child or children are going to be very lucky to have you in their lives.

[judy]

How wonderful Sandy! Lucky kids who get you as a foster mom!!!

[Tiramisu]

I'm really excited to be moving towards my new life.

Gayle, I'm emailing with a man that you might know. He was UT's athletic trainer for 24 years. We found each other on match.com. He sent me his phone # today, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet, emailing is good.

[gja1000]

I might know the name, and I may have seen him in action, but I don't personally know any of the athletic trainers. That's pretty cool though! I don't know if I'd be ready for phone calling either! LOL!

[Janet]

Please be careful Sandy.

[judy]

Wow Sandy! You are so brave! Jumping right into dating, fostering children...what is next? Scuba diving? An around the world trip?

I always took my own car, and met up for coffee or lunch for the first date. This way, you are in no danger, and can leave if you don't like him!

[JJJ]

You go girl :D

The only tip I have on on-line dating is keep yourself mysterious. Don't give out your whole life story. Talk about sports, weather, trips you've taken but keep your personal stuff to yourself. If I do meet them I also drive myself and have them take me to a nice place to eat ;) Have fun and don't stick to one.

I'm so happy your jumping in on that fostering. I would love to do that one day. I'm sure you will be a great foster mother. Lot's of kids deserve love and affection.

[Marilyn]

So happy for your and your new adventures!! Love that you are out doing things and not moping around!! I have a dear friend who's divorce was final in March, and she's our enjoying life, too. We go out to eat, shopping and to the movies & have fun together. She's my oldest daughter's MIL, so we have common interests.

Rex and I have talked about fostering or adopting, but so far haven't done anything about it. Rex helps with an Adoption Awareness Program through Rotary and comes home talking about this child or that who he thought we should consider. Maybe someday....

You go girl!!!