Can Things Get Worse??

[DianaB]

We've been going up and down with Damon in rehab. Today he shot that all to pieces.......He checked himself out. Dae Lynn got a call that Damon was leaving and she got on the phone, I'm not sure with who, and by the time she called back they had already delivered him to the bus station. Once that is done he isn't allowed back because paperwork has already been completed.

I guess that some how Damon's been labeled a liar and thief. Some time or another he stole some candy and lied about it, probably today. When they do something wrong they have "restrictions" and he refused his restrictions and checked himself out.

Dae Lynn went up to get him and we told him that he wasn't allowed here so I think that she's taking him to his Mother's house. She doesn't want him there either but she isn't going to have a choice.

I haven't talked to Dae Lynn about what's going on but I have a feeling that this may head for the divorce courts. She really had hopes of him getting better and she doesn't want to continue to live her life like this.

The stupid part is......that he will be out of jail until the paperwork catches up with him......probably a month or month and a half!!!!! He's suppose to be in jail anyway but got off with going to Teen Challenge. I can't believe how stupid all of this is!!!!

[Janet]

I feel so bad for all of you but especially for Dae Lynn and the kids. As bad as divorce can be, she needs out before she is brought down with him. I really was hoping that things would turn around for him, but he has to want it and it's obvious he doesn't want it bad enough. I'm sorry you have to watch your daughter go through the hurt and pain of this situation.

[paula1961]

So sorry to hear this Diana. Janet is right though....he has to want to get clean. Hopefully he won't wait until it's too late and has already lost his family before he makes the right decision. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

[judy]

He isn't ready to do the work he has to, and there is nothing anybody can do about it. Poor Dae Lyn and the kids. My heart breaks for them.

I am keeping all of you in my prayers.

[Tiramisu]

I'm praying for your babies ... Especially Karlie. Stay strong.

[DianaB]

Dae Lynn seems to be buying all his lies about how bad it was at rehab. She brought him by here so he could see the kids and I stayed in the house. I really don't have anything to say to him. He's telling Dae Lynn that he really wants to be at Neosho at Teen Challenge........and my reply to that is that he should have gone through the proper channels to have gotten that done. Now he's going to be going to jail and finishing out his sentence there. STUPID!!!!

I guess that Damon's Mom's health has been really bad. I knew that she had been in the hospital a while back with congestive heart failure so she doen't want Damon there either. I'm not sure exactly where Dae Lynn is taking him......I just know that he's NOT staying here. I'm done trying to give him any support until he shows me that he's really wanting to change.

[gja1000]

He's just stalling - I agree with Judy, he's not ready for rehab and he doesn't want to be at another facilitiy. If that were all it was, he could have asked for a transfer and done it the proper way. I doubt they will ever take him back anywhere. Yes, I would imagine it was difficult in rehab, that is the nature of rehab programs. Some people never learn - Dae Lynn will learn but maybe not this time. Don't you just want to shake kids sometimes, even when they are grown.

[Janet]

How long will he have to stay in jail to finish his sentence? If he thought rehab was hard....what is jail going to be like for him.

[gja1000]

But in jail, you just sit there, you really don't have to do much. In rehab, you have to WORK and FACE your DEMONS.

[Janet]

True.....jail may be the easy way. I feel so bad that Dae Lynn and the kids have to deal with this.

[DianaB]

When he's been in jail before we've gotten him out on work release......which is basically he's out. It costs us $20 a day to get him out but I think that this time everyone's fustrated enough that he'll just be sitting in jail the whole time.

I really think that he would like to change but he's not willing to give up anything to begin the change.......like lying. He lied to Dae Lynn all summer about not chewing......but Amy found a spit cup at the church a couple of days ago that was tucked away. He was out on work release to work at the church all summer. Just a simple thing......just tell Dae Lynn the truth......and she asked him a lot of times about it but he denied it. Fool me once.....shame on you......fool me twice......shame on me. That's where I'm at right now. I'm not buying anything that he says!!!!

Dae Lynn took him to a small motel in town last night. Hopefully he'll either be in jail or find a place to stay......but I don't know where. Maybe Dae Lynn will know when she gets home from work. I feel really guilty about him not having a place to go to but on the other hand.......he was provided a place to stay for the next year!!!! UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[judy]

Why does he need a place to stay if he is going to jail?

I can understand your anger and frustration with him. I have felt the same way about Steve many times.

I am praying for the best outcome, Diana.

[Blueyes]

I'm so sorry Diana! I'm glad you are sticking to your guns about him staying at your house. Some people have to learn the hard way that there are consequences for their actions.

[DianaB]

Things are so stressful here that I can't even write about how bad it is. Before I even got out of bed this morning I could hear Dae Lynn yelling at Glen. I know that all of this is so hard for her and I can sympathize with her. It is hard to know that your husband has no where to stay and even isn't welcome where you are at. She understands what we're saying but still it's hard.

Dae Lynn brought Damon out here again last night to see the kids which makes us feel guilty that he has no where to stay. Glen wasn't happy that he was here again but we had kids church and weren't here to be around him much and Dae Lynn was asleep when we got home. I know that she's paying for his motel and really doesn't have the money to do that and eventually it will come out of our pocket.

Besides the problems with Damon my dil, Tammy, is stirring up trouble. She thinks that Damon doesn't deserve the attention that Glen and I give him and it's not fair to her and Jason, our sil. It keeps coming back to Glen and I that we shouldn't have let Dae Lynn even marry Damon but Dae Lynn was over 18 when she did that.......we couldn't have stopped it but they don't seem to understand that. It's already done and we have to deal with things from here but they want to dwell in the "you should haves". I hate to say this but my dil causes some real problems and a lot of it stems from her not always telling the truth and gossiping. Damon's not the only one that we're fustrated with. I just feel like going outside and giving a blood curdling scream because I'm so fustrated with everything but we have some older neighbors and I'm afraid that they would call the sheriff to come out and see what was going on!!!! LOL

I AM heading to my Aunt Marva's this weekend. I need a break from the kids, the drama, from Damon, and from Tammy. I'll be leaving on Friday mornng and heading out. Amy has already said that she would watch Dean on Friday.

[judy]

It sounds like you have your hands full, Diana!

I love that you are taking off and going to your Aunt's!!! The best way not to play other people's games, is just not to be around!!!

I feel bad for Dae Lyn too. I hope she faces the truth very soon. If not, you may have to set very strong limits. With Tammy too! Pretend to have a splitting headache, and go lie down next time she starts up. Then tell her your blood pressure went too high, and that the doctor said you cannot discuss it.

[gja1000]

Oh Judy, you have the best advice.

[DianaB]

............ Pretend to have a splitting headache, and go lie down next time she starts up. Then tell her your blood pressure went too high, and that the doctor said you cannot discuss it.

I'll have to try that!!!! Thanks, Judy!!!

The reason that Damon needs a place to stay is because the paperwork hasn't caught up with him yet. The court hasn't received the paperwork about Damon but when they do they'll put out a warrant for his arrest and he'll be taken back to jail. They can't do anything with him until then. He could be out a few days or over a month. We don't know. It doesn't make sense to me.

[Janet]

Since he knows he'll be served a warrant, why doesn't he just go turn himself in? That way he'll have a place to stay. It would be a good way for Damon to prove he has the right intentions. I really think that Damon needs long term help and it's not going to be easy as we've all seen. Wish there were some easy answers.

[judy]

He's way too much trouble! I hope Dae Lyn gives him the boot! He may or may not straighten out, and they could reconnect then. For now though, this is not healthy for her.

[DianaB]

Damon was put in jail on Monday and things have settled down again. I feel so bad because I know that he's not able to get out on work release but it really is his own fault. I can't imagine sitting in jail day after day. They have cut back on expenses at the jail and they are hardly fed there anymore. The family is suppose to keep money on their account so they can buy food from the store at the jail. It's a rip off!!!! Damon lost so much weight when he was there the last time and he really doesn't have much to lose.

Dae Lynn took the kids AND Damon to Wichita to the zoo on Saturday and Sunday. Glen wasn't happy because it was money she didn't need to spend........and ultimately is our money. She did go as cheap as she could and didn't spend much but still it set Glen off and she knew it. When I called to come home on Sunday I knew that Glen was upset so my nice peaceful weekend ended before I left Marva's house.

I know that Dae Lynn is fustrated with Glen and his attitude about Damon. I also know that Damon's done things wrong but God's not finished with him yet and I'm not ready to throw in the towel. I'm fustrated about how Damon handled all of this Teen Challenge stuff but he is still a person......a person who doesn't think clearly sometimes. I truly hope he's not being decietful but he'll have to deal with that with God.

I feel like a middle man........I can see Dae Lynn's point of view and I can also see Glen's point of view. I hope the courts will allow Damon to go back to Teen Challenge because I will feel a lot better about that then just having him sit in jail.

[judy]

Hang in there, Diana. Things will settle down a bit now that he is in jail and she can't spend money on him. Glen is a good man, and I bet he will come around, at least some.

I am so sorry this is happening.

I read my last post, and I really am apologizing for saying that she should get rid of him. I had no right to be so judgemental!

[DianaB]

That's all right, Judy. Dae Lynn's feeling the same way. We talked yesterday and if he doesn't go to Teen Challenge.......either for jail time or after he's out of jail......then she's done with him. She does still love him but she refuses to live her life and subject her kids to his behavior. I do know that she loves him so this will be a really difficult decision for her to make but I do believe that she would leave him. The hard part is that Karlie isn't hers and Damon could take her away from her. I hope that he would realize that she's in a good home with good family taking care of her......I know that his Mom has said that should anything happen she would support Karlie staying with Dae Lynn but you never know if she'll stick with that or not. Damon has a sister that would take her but she already has 4 kids to raise on her own. That's the hard part........Karlie.

[Janet]

Okay...here come some questions... :) Is the jail right there in your county or is it a distance away? How long is he in for unless other arrangements are made? Will he be allowed visitors?

I understand both your and Glenn's view. I do know that in MY financial situation...I would have to put a stop to the spending especially if it was going to end up out of MY pocket. It's a big headache for everyone but for farmers...I understand Glenn view.

You're her mother....you know she loves him and we want our kids, no matter how old, to be happy. It's very hard especially with the parents don't completely agree. We always want to stand up for our child.

I really hope he can straighten his life around Diana. Does she have a time frame in mind to either settle or leave for good? I really do wish them the best, but we just don't know what's in the future.

[DianaB]

Yes, the jail is here in town. We really won't know what's going on until he sees the judge and we don't know when that will be right now. I'll let you know when I hear but it could be a month or so.

Dae Lynn can go and see him on Saturdays for a short time.....like an hour, I think. She'll be going tomorrow because Glen and I will be taking the kids with us for awhile at Homecoming during the parade.

Dae Lynn doesn't have a time frame. She would like to know what he's going to do because IF she's going to leave him she'd just as soon get it over with but she doesn't feel like she can until he has refused all help.

[Janet]

At least for now the jail is close for visitation. I hope they have Pastors or some kind of religious leaders that come in to speak with him and help give guidance.

Karlie....I can't imagine what her life would be like without Dae Lynn and you all in her life. She's a pistol and you know I mean that with love. I would worry so much if she was with her biological mother or just with Damon.

I hope that Dae Lynn finds peace with what ever decision she comes to. It has to be so hard for her. Please tell her that even though we met for such a short time...I just felt a connection and that I will continue to keep her in my prayers.

[judy]

I will be praying too. Karlie really has to have the best, no matter what the outcome of the marriage.

[DianaB]

Thanks ladies!!!