My Baby Wants To Move Out

[Janet]

My little boy has informed me that he is really wanting to move out and in with one of his good friends. His friend Chris and he held their Eagle ceremony together and are really good friends. Chris bought a house just a couple miles from us and has asked Rick to share the place.

Not sure how I feel about it, still in shock mostly. Chris has been asking him since last summer. I asked Ricky if he really wanted to leave his Mom (lolol) and he said "Mom, I've got to leave sometime." So now the discussion will have to take place....the dreaded finance discussion. First off, even though he is considered management, he still is not considered full-time. He has two school loans to pay off, his cell phone, truck insurance and whatever expenses for that, plus he'll probably have to pay have the living expenses with Chris (they haven't really discussed that much yet). To top it off, Ricky is covered under my health insurance, so I'll have to find out if he will still be covered and not living here.

I guess if it all comes together, he'll be moving. I just can't see him being able to afford it...guess we'll find out.

[Shada]

Your little fledging is getting his wings and wanting to fly!
Try not to worry Janet. Ricky is a good kid. Yes a kid, but also a adult. He has a wonderful mother who has taught him well.

Yep he will probably do it. Yep he will probably move back home.
Don't we all at that age?? A few times!

Yes give him the talk. Money and how to handle/ be responsible. Let him know that his mama will always be there to give him advice and his room will be ready for him.. until he turns 30!! LOL..
(gotta make them stand on their own sometime!)

[Blueyes]

Oh Janet! We spend all of their lives trying to teach them to become decent, respectable, dependable men...and then they want to MOVE OUT and do it! Next thing you know he'll find some young lady that he just can't live without. Then you get the reward.....GRANDKIDS!!!

[DianaB]

How hard for Mama!!! Feyn got a great deal on a house before he and Tammy got married. I knew that he was moving out and came home one day and his room was completely cleaned out!!! I couldn't even walk past his room without crying. It was so hard and he just moved down the road from us. I think that it was just realizing that he was growning up and I wasn't ready for it yet!!!

Give him the speech about paying bills and responsibility but in reality you've already taught him very well. He's ready to be a young adult.....and yes, he'll make his share of mistakes......but his Mama will always be there for him!!

It was hard for my other kids to move out too but that first one was the hardest. I can't imagine how I would have felt if it was my only child. Hugs to you, Janet!!!

[JJJ]

Well, I can't wait for mine to get old and move out :p Lol

I would probably handle it differently. I would tell him to find another job to make sure his able to pay all his bills and not come to you to borrow money. But I'm sure your nicer than me.

[2tiredmom]

Janet, He will find out how hard it will be. My kids have. I still had Dustin on my insurance till this year. He will be 25 in April. So he should still be able to be on your health insurance unless you don't want him on it. Be thankful he is just moving down the road a ways. I know he is your one and only but he is 21. They could be like some other kids and come back and stay. LOL. Iknow it's hard. I can't believe my baby boy is getting married. Just have the money talk with him and show him how to budget. Then maybe he will see how much money he will have left if any. Good Luck.

[Janet]

That's just it....I know already it will be very hard on him financially. We are planning to sit down together and put it all on paper. There are incidentals I know he's not thinking of. I'm afraid he's going to be disappointed, but I want him to be able to thrive on his own....not feel like a failure.

[JJJ]

Your such a nice mommy Janet.

He can never fail, it's just another way of learning mistakes.

[Janet]

If he had to struggle much, he would see it as failing.....he's just so sensitive. That's why I want him to be sure he can afford it. The friend he wants to move in with works at the Frito Lay plant here in Frankfort and makes darn good money. He makes it look easy and fun to Ricky, when in reality....Ricky won't be able to afford the things like Chris can. We'll see I guess.

[gja1000]

I understand the sensitive issue, but he just may have to learn the hard way. He's a good kid, he will be OK, whatever happens.

[DianaB]

You've taught him well. He'll just have to learn that he won't be able to keep up with his friend.

When Dae Lynn was in college her roommate had "Mama's credit card" and her step-dad was a lawyer and she bought whatever she wanted. Dae Lynn was pretty much on her own and we had given her the talk many times about watching her money.

Tracy's Mom divorced her step-dad and Tracy had a real struggle with finances. She ended up having to pay for a lot of what she had charged when she never thought she'd have to.

Dae Lynn learned a lot about handling her money during that time and Ricky will too.

[Lindsey]

Janet, I moved out the summer I graduated high school and I thought it was all fun too... I could go out where I wanted, stay out as late as I wanted, eat whatever junk I wanted... and now it's 10 years later and I wish I could live with my parents again lol! I think it's good for him to learn the hard way though. I'm sure he's smart and will learn to budget quickly! My brother was not so good with budgeting, and he ended up moving back in with my parents after realizing he couldn't afford living with his friends and keeping up with their lifestyles. But nothing my parents said in the first place could have changed his mind about it until he experienced it himself!

[Janet]

Thanks for all the advice...I really appreciate it. I know he needs to learn on his own, but it's hard. I guess I've done my job if he feels confident to be able to go out on his own.

[DianaB]

It will be a learning lesson no matter what happens. He'll do all right. He's been taught well.