What is your opinion about this statement regarding LOVE

[RLC12345678]

I have often heard that "Love is a choice, not a feeling." How do you feel about this statement? Do you agree or disagree??

[Tink]

I think it's wrong in that it IS a feeling... Yet when we're not feeling terribly loving toward someone, we can still make the choice to act in a loving way until the feeling returns. I think this is the secret of long-term relationships. No matter how close you are... or how deeply you love someone, there are going to be times when the feelings just aren't as strong. It's just human nature,

[blowry]

I have often heard that "Love is a choice, not a feeling." How do you feel about this statement? Do you agree or disagree??


I think I disagree...I don't think we CHOOSE to love someone...it just happens..

I also believe there are different kinds of love ...you can love someone and BE in love with someone. You love your husband/wife with all of your heart and soul but, the love for your children just can't be explained...

does this make sense?

[Gina]

I think I disagree...I don't think we CHOOSE to love someone...it just happens..

I also believe there are different kinds of love ...you can love someone and BE in love with someone. You love your husband/wife with all of your heart and soul but, the love for your children just can't be explained...

does this make sense?


I agree with Brenda, love is a feeling not a choice. There are different types of love, like Brenda explained to love someone and to be in love with someone . Our children have our unconditional love and that love will stay until the day we die. Your spouse ,you can fall out of being in love with but still love him or her. We love people in our lives differently. So therefore it is not a choice.

[Kimberley]

Well, if love is a choice and not a feeling then what is it I feel when I've had my heart broken?:confused: Is that a choice, too?

[Gina]

Well, if love is a choice and not a feeling then what is it I feel when I've had my heart broken?:confused: Is that a choice, too?


Very good analogy:thumbup:

[Marilyn]

There are many different kinds of love, as previously mentioned. Love for spouse, love for children. Love for a spouse starts out as an attraction, a feeling that matures into so much more over time. It grows in depth and intensity. Love for children is a feeling that we seem to be just given. They are a part of our being. Both of these type of loves are hard to describe because of their intensity and many facets.

Then there is love for friends. This type of love is more of a choice. We choose our friends and choose who we will love. Sometimes it takes effort to overcome something about a friend in order to truly love them, but it can be done.

[Fairydust125]

I don't think it's a choice. You don't MEAN to fall in love, it just happens. I think it may be a feeling or more than that. I don't know what it is but I do know that you can't help it. It's just something that happens. I don't think you can CHOOSE to fall in love.

[Miss_Sara]

it depends on the kind of person you are
before I definitly said love is a choice, in fact I still sort of feel that way.
You can't do anything you don't want to.
I think it's just that I have a lot of willpower and control over myself (and everyone else HA HA HA), so feelings have always been 2nd to decisions.

but that of course depends on the KIND of love.
I think FAMILY love is different

I mean you hear those terrible (and I"m sorry to mention) stories about kids beaten by their mothers, but when they are given the choice they go back to the mothers, when asked why, they say "because I love them!"
but idk, I have very little love towards my mother, she's the exact opposite of the people I put myself around (loud, not polite or classy, doesn't realize that certain situations call for CLASS), so I think that adds to it.
and to be honest I think my mother only loves me because she loves herself. idk if that makes sense to you but...

[RLC12345678]

I think that you definately "fall in love" with your spouse and that is why you agree to marry him, but in my opinion, it takes a conscious decision to stay in love with that person. I think that getting a divorce because you "fall out of love" with someone is a crock of poop. If more couples would make a conscious decision to CHOOSE to remain in love and really act on that choice, then there would not be such a high divorce rate. I also think that people way too often mistake lust for love.

[Lissa]

I think that you definately "fall in love" with your spouse and that is why you agree to marry him, but in my opinion, it takes a conscious decision to stay in love with that person. I think that getting a divorce because you "fall out of love" with someone is a crock of poop. If more couples would make a conscious decision to CHOOSE to remain in love and really act on that choice, then there would not be such a high divorce rate. I also think that people way too often mistake lust for love.

There's a song called "The Seven-Fold Amen" that's running through my head after reading that. There are legitimate reasons to get a divorce, but I think that not enough people see it as the last resort after all else has failed. It's like people go into marriage with the mindset that if it doesn't work out there's always divorce. For me, he's stuck with me til death do us part.

But in reference to the original post:

I have often heard that "Love is a choice, not a feeling." How do you feel about this statement? Do you agree or disagree??

I've got mixed feelings, I think that Love is a feeling but you can choose whether or not to stay in love with someone. Right now I know I'm in love with my boyfriend, but I can choose whether or not I want to stay in love with him. As the other saying goes "There's a thin line between love and hate" just cross that line and the love is gone. But I do agree with Kimberley's analogy. It's difficult to explain, but when has love ever been easy to put to words?

I'm gonna get a bit sketchy here so stick with me on this despite the fact that everyone will more than likely disagree. Thus far the majority have agreed that love is a feeling and not a choice. I feel this would make a reasonable arguement for homosexuality. One of my bestfriends recently admitted to me that he's gay, and maybe that makes me biased but I don't think it's impossible for him to be in love with a man. Love is a feeling, not a choice. Of course he could choose to not stay in love with that person, but it's up to him to make that choice.

[BabyNicole]

I have often heard that "Love is a choice, not a feeling." How do you feel about this statement? Do you agree or disagree??

I disagree. Even after my ex fiance called off our wedding, it took a LOOONG time for me to stop "feeling" love for him. Now I "choose" to think he's an a**. LOL :p

Also, I think that when it comes to homosexuals, what "sex" they love is not a choice. ;)

[Brooke]

Well have any of you ever loved some one they didn't want to love??? Think about it. I can't think of any one I love that I don't want to... Why is that?

I think as far as the broken heart goes, your feeling rejected and that hurts! It never feels good to feel rejected ot betrayed by some one you thought you could trust...

And if you loved some one for along time but now you think they are an a** how did you fall out of love? Or did you just get used to them not being in your life any more, or get angry because they hurt you some how?

I think love is a feeling... but I think sometimes we hang onto what we think is love because it is what we are used to or want to believe...

[BabyNicole]

Well have any of you ever loved some one they didn't want to love??? Think about it. I can't think of any one I love that I don't want to... Why is that?

I think as far as the broken heart goes, your feeling rejected and that hurts! It never feels good to feel rejected ot betrayed by some one you thought you could trust...

And if you loved some one for along time but now you think they are an a** how did you fall out of love? Or did you just get used to them not being in your life any more, or get angry because they hurt you some how?

I think love is a feeling... but I think sometimes we hang onto what we think is love because it is what we are used to or want to believe...

I definitely think that falling out of love takes time. I know that's what I needed! And, I hate when "time flies" but in this case, I'm glad it did because I would HATE to be where I was a year and a half ago and still MEGA depressed. I thank God for that! :thumbup:

[RLC12345678]

Well have any of you ever loved some one they didn't want to love??? Think about it. I can't think of any one I love that I don't want to... Why is that?

I think as far as the broken heart goes, your feeling rejected and that hurts! It never feels good to feel rejected ot betrayed by some one you thought you could trust...

And if you loved some one for along time but now you think they are an a** how did you fall out of love? Or did you just get used to them not being in your life any more, or get angry because they hurt you some how?

I think love is a feeling... but I think sometimes we hang onto what we think is love because it is what we are used to or want to believe...


I completely agree with everything you said. I think oftentimes people mistake LUST for LOVE. I think LOVE is MORE than a feeling and it is something that you CHOOSE to feel.

[sashajade]

there is a difference between loving someone and being in love, loving someone stays and its what you feel after being with someone for a time, you feel it even when they hurt you or your angry with them.
being in love comes and goes and its what you first feel for someone, being in love is how that person makes you feel, in love is that happy feeling when they say i love you, when they buy you flowers when your happy together and getting on well thats why you can still love someone but not be in love with someone cos YOU love them but THEY dont make you feel in love with them anymore.
loving someone is how you feel about them and they dont have to do anything for you to feel that for them, and being in love is how they make you feel and they have to do something for you to feel that for them so if they stop being loving or romantic or your not getting on you wont feel that anymore untill they then do do something.
being in love is how THEY make you feel and loving someone is how YOU feel.
loving someone is not a choice but being in love is as you can choose to open up and feel it or close your self off if they have hurt you to much that feeling will never come back.

[Chandra Amaya]

I don't think it's a choice. You don't MEAN to fall in love, it just happens. I think it may be a feeling or more than that. I don't know what it is but I do know that you can't help it. It's just something that happens. I don't think you can CHOOSE to fall in love.
I agree. You can want to stop loving someone & find it very hard. Or you can try to make yourself love someone & find that impossible. Love is a feeling.

[Chandra Amaya]

Well have any of you ever loved some one they didn't want to love??? Think about it. I can't think of any one I love that I don't want to... Why is that?

I think as far as the broken heart goes, your feeling rejected and that hurts! It never feels good to feel rejected ot betrayed by some one you thought you could trust...

And if you loved some one for along time but now you think they are an a** how did you fall out of love? Or did you just get used to them not being in your life any more, or get angry because they hurt you some how?

I think love is a feeling... but I think sometimes we hang onto what we think is love because it is what we are used to or want to believe...
I have loved someone I didn't want to... just because they have broken your heart. You have been able to completely turn off all feelings for that person? I couldn't. It took me quite some time to get over the feeling

[sashajade]

I have loved someone I didn't want to... just because they have broken your heart. You have been able to completely turn off all feelings for that person? I couldn't. It took me quite some time to get over the feeling i havent ever loved anyone i didnt want to but i do agree it can happen ive seen it with my friends.