My aunt tried to comitt suicide

[vt73]

I have only been here at this forum a few times. I really want to take this pain out of my chest, but I can't.
My mom called me a few minutes ago to tell me that my favorite aunt, one of my moms 4 sisters, tried to kill herself this morning. She has been very depressed since she had her hysterectomy. She always wanted to have babies, but unfortunately she couldn't, she tried 15 years and she wasn't able, she tried everything, and nothing worked, my sister offer to carry her baby as well as one of cousins, but nothing happened.
Last night this woman comes to my aunt's house and tells her that she is the mistress of my aunts husband (my uncle) and that they been having a realtionship for a few years now and that she was just there to show her that she can have babies, not like her that she is infertile, so she showed her the baby that she just had with the SOB of my aunt's husband. That crushed my aunt.It shattered her in pieces. After that my aunt went crazy, she argued with her husband and nobody knows exactly what happened but he left, so this morning she called my sister to tell her that she was very depressed and that she didn't want to live anymore. As soon as she hung up with my sister, my sister called my auncle( my mom's brother) who lives in he same street as my aunt and my sister told my auncle to go see auntie V 'cause she didn't sound very well, once he got there she had cut her wrists and had taken a whole bunch of pills. They rushed her ti the hospital and she is ok right now, but she's been sleeping all day. Don't know exactly what they did to her but she is ok.
All this is happening in Mexico, I'm here, I wish I could do somtehing but my husband says that there is nothing I can do right now. Mom says that aunti V needs to see a therapist, my Mom has a masters in phsicology, but she says that auntie V needs a phsyciatrist(sorry for the mispellings).
I love my aunt so much like I say she is my favorite aunt, she is only 9 years aolder than me, so we pretty much grew up together until she got married of course.
I'm going to be very honest, my mom told me not to wish these kind of things and not to hold grudges against anybody, but I wish that something bad happens to that mistress for all the pain that she has brought to our family with her actions. She knew what she was doing and that is why she did it.
We are a very cloe family and this hurts a lot to all of us.
I'm sorry for the long thread I just wanted to tell this to someone because it hurts a lot.:cry: :cry:

[Janet]

Oh my...you poor thing to have to go through this. Please try, as hard as it is, to put your anger aside. It will not help the situation at all. It was a cruel thing this mistress did, but your uncle is as much to blame as she is. It is sad that your aunt felt so distraught that she thought suicide was the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temperary problem. We were not able to have children either, but we were able to adopt a beautiful baby boy. Your mother is right...your aunt needs to talk with someone professionally. There are going to be so many people...family and friends..wanting to give her advice...but unless they know exactly what she is going through, by experience...all need to keep quiet. Everyone is different and what one person would do, another would not even think about. Get her into therapy and let a trained professional help her get all her feelings out. The only thing family and friends should be doing is letting your aunt know how much they love and need her. God has a plan..she needs to be here to see just where his hand will lead her.

[Marilyn]

Oh my...you poor thing to have to go through this. Please try, as hard as it is, to put your anger aside. It will not help the situation at all. It was a cruel thing this mistress did, but your uncle is as much to blame as she is. It is sad that your aunt felt so distraught that she thought suicide was the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temperary problem. We were not able to have children either, but we were able to adopt a beautiful baby boy. Your mother is right...your aunt needs to talk with someone professionally. There are going to be so many people...family and friends..wanting to give her advice...but unless they know exactly what she is going through, by experience...all need to keep quiet. Everyone is different and what one person would do, another would not even think about. Get her into therapy and let a trained professional help her get all her feelings out. The only thing family and friends should be doing is letting your aunt know how much they love and need her. God has a plan..she needs to be here to see just where his hand will lead her.

This is great advice. Sounds like you mom is thinking rationally, also. Hope she can incourage your aunt to get the help that she needs. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know how you are all doing.

[vt73]

I'm waiting on my mom to give me an update. I had called her and my sisters and my whole fammily and nobody answers at home or cell, so I'm assuming they are with my aunt in the hospital.I just need to wait for someone to call me.

[khardy57]

God bless your aunt. Janet gave you excellent advice. It was extremely cruel of that woman to confront your aunt after all she's been thru, but you have to consider the calibre of person you're dealing with. Your uncle sounds as much to blame as his mistress.

Your aunt needs therapy. My sister couldn't have children and ended up adopting 2 of the most beautiful babies you've ever seen. Also, my daughter in law can't have children and is in the midst of dealing with it, so I know what it can do to you first hand.

I'll be praying for your aunt that she can find peace in her life.

[Gina]

I am so sorry to hear this, I agree with Janet to, that mistress had no business going over to your aunts with that kind of news , it was just cruel and heartless. Like your mom said don't wish malice on anyone, what you reap in life always has a way of coming back. Your uncle is much to blame here. In the meantime , encourage your aunt to seek help for she has many problems now to deal with. I wish you and your family a healthy new year. May the coming year bring some comfort to your aunt as she is going through dealing with her problems. My prayers are with you and your aunt.

[Janet]

vt73, how are things with your aunt? Is she feeling better after her tragic experience? I hope you all are standing by her, letting her know how much you all love her. Do you think she'll be acceptable to seeing a professional? I pray she does...it really will help. Thinking about you and your family and hoping things are getting better.

[Tink]

How cruel...
I hope your aunt is able to rise from this and do well.
I think Janet gave some wonderful advice as usual.
HUGS

[Gina]

Just wandering any updates with your aunt,? I am hope she is feeling better, and is talking to someone.

[Janet]

Just checking to see if there were any updates. I hope your aunt is doing better.

[ILuvShoes]

I am so so sorry. I can't even imagine the pain she must be going through. I will be keeping you both in my prayers.

[vt73]

She is doing better, she is filling for divorce, moved in with my Mom while the divorce is in process, of course the guy wants to take everything away from her they have a few properties together so he already told the family that he is going to fight to get everything.
She is going to the psychiatrist and a therapist, all the family is supporting her because she still thinks that all this happenend because she can't have babies. The therapist is working on that.
Thank you ladies for all the support you have given me.

[Janet]

I am so happy your aunt is recieving the kind of help she needs, plus it looks like she has a loving supportive family. Divorces can be brutal, I hope she can see past his threats. It's really a sign of insecurtiy on his part. Please tell her prayers are being said for her....

[vt73]

I hesitate it about posting the update on my aunt, the reason is because I'm angry and at the same time sad, but here it is:
I was Instant messaging my sister last night and she told me that auntie V didn't come home one day after her therapy, of course my mom is fraking out because auntie is not very familiar with that city. Auntie calls a few hours later and tells my mom that she is back with her husband and that she is in her house. She explained her that he waited for her outside my mom's house and asked my aunt for a second chance he told her that the mistress thing was a "set up". He is a lawyer and he is on the bad guys side all the time his mentallity is that the bad guys are the ones with money(the tipy of bad guys that he takes are wealthy crooks)one day he had the case of a one of those people and he lost the case therefore the bad guy got really angry b/c he was sent to jail and he told him that he was going to seek revenge(all this happens in Mexico where laws are diffrent than here) and getting someone to go to his house to tell all those things to my aunt was his revenge, I don't believe a single word of that BS story but obviously she did that is way she is back with him, but the story doesn't end there. They are adopting a child now!!!They never did it before and they've been married 17 years or so, he never wanted to adopt, now they just brought the kid home this week.
These are my reason why I feel sad and angry.
1.- He never went to visit her when she was in the hospital
2.- I think he doesn't want to divorce her b/c of the money issue
3.-I'm very dissapointed because she doesn't see how much pain she caused to all the family.
4.- she is very obssess with a child. I don't have kids and I don't think I'm ready to have a child althoug I've been married for 5 years, why can someone be so obssess about becoming a mother?
5.- She didn't care about the help my mom offered her, she just trashed everything that the therapist and the Psychiatris where working on her.
6.- Is not that she has been happy with the guy for the last years of her marriage, so what is she trying to work out?
7.- In a way she attempted to killed herself because of him!!!
Am I overreacting? please ladies tell me. It really hurts me that she is acting this way.
Today is her B-day and I'm not calling her, I supported her after her suicide attempt, but I'm not supporting her on this. I feel llike is a slap in the face to the whole family.
I'm sorry for the long update.

[Tink]

The story does sound far fetched, and like something you'd see in a movie.

I can understand why you'd be upset over her choice, yet I wonder if, in her current state of instability, she's capable of making a more rational choice.
It's so hard to know another persons reasoning.

I hope this doesn't drive a wedge between her and your family. It sounds like she might very well need help again in the future.

[Janet]

I'm not sure what to take on this. I can tell you from experience....the need to be a mother is a VERY powerful thing. I would have done just about anything to have a child and yes...I suppose you could say I was obsessed. In some women, there may never be need to be a mother...some a little stronger...and obsessed, like me and it seems, your aunt. She may be willing to sacrifice herself, so to speak, to be able to have a child, any way she can. Please don't abandon her.

[vt73]

That is what I thought, that she is not mentally stable and the instability is making her make the wrong choices.
I know that in a realtionship nobody else has to get involve, but when she did what she did it's hard to saty away from her. I only want what is best for her and apparently she doesn't want that, I'm sure I will get over it, but is going to take me a while :(