TO SPANK OR NOT TO SPANK! That is the question

[Kimberley]

Do you believe in spanking your children? Why or why not? Do you believe that spanking is a form of discipline or is it abuse?

If you do not believe in spanking, what alternative methods have you used to correct a child and was it successful?

btw...you can choose more than 1 option.

[Kimberley]

I was spanked as a child. At times, one could say it was abuse.

When I spank my children (like once or twice a year), they get 3 swats on the butt. Then, I go to my room and cry. I hate spanking but at the same time, if they did something severly wrong, they needed to learn.

[ice queen]

I was spanked as a child. At times, one could say it was abuse.

When I spank my children (like once or twice a year), they get 3 swats on the butt. Then, I go to my room and cry. I hate spanking but at the same time, if they did something severly wrong, they needed to learn.
my mom used to whale the shit out of me but i guess that is just her generation raised her. i'm like you my kids don't get spanked hardly at all but sometimes i whap 'em on their butt ans send them to their room to think about what they have done....my hubby spanks them more than i used too and we used to get in knock-out drag-out fights over that but he gets them more with the tone of his voice than anything

[Khristine]

This was quite hard for me to choose.. i haven't chosen yet actually..

but i was "spanked" so to speak when I was younger.. actually as i remember it, we got spanked not with our parents hands but with my dad's belt buckles.

and as i turned into my teen years like 13ish and was such a rebel.. i once went out with my friends to the mall and came home late and i got my ass handed to me.. literally.. my mom beat the crap out of me..

was it a form of disapline? to my parents yes because that's how they were raised in the phillipines.. but to me of course it was abuse.

my parents after that incident have never layed one finger on me ever after that though..

i dont think hitting your children with belt buckles, shoes and stuff is right at all.. i dont think i could ever hit Tianna.. but then again she's a baby right now and shes such an angel! lol

but i do remember getting slapped inthe booty when i did something bad like steal candy or something and i think i deserved that... i actually learned from that lol.. so i guess it all depends?

[Mandy]

I voted no, because i don't think spanking teaches them anything.
I prefer to sit down and talk, ask questions to find out where that behaviour is coming from.
I was spanked when i was young, and i swore i wouldnt do that to my kids, it's very humiliating.

[Janet]

I was spanked as a child and it didn't make me nuts or anything. I believe if it's a spank with no anger behind it, then it's fine.

I remember when I was very little, I rode my little orange pedal jet way down the street. I mean a good 15-20 houses down the street. I turned around to come back and I saw my Mom coming with switch in hand. All I could do was stand there shuffling from foot to foot, because I knew if I ran I would get it even worse. I had boundaries where I could ride my pedal jet and I never forgot them after that day. Yes my mother spanked us and used a tree switch with the leaves on the end so it would sting. She didn't have to use those tactics often, because we learned. Never ever thought of it as abuse while growing up, because I knew I was loved in spite of. My father never did the discipline and since my mother was a small woman, I guess that's the only way she knew to deal with us.

[Gina]

I don't believe in spanking, though I use to threaten my kids with a big wooden spoon, in which my MIL supplied...lol I would take the spoon out and pretend I was going to hit their butts with it and they would listen. Actually when I was a kid I was always spanked on the butt. I grew up ok but I think that spanking doesn't resolve anything. I am a firm believer in punishment , going to their room, taking something away or just time out. Let them know they are doing something wrong and they have to be reprimanded. Actually I was a softie , I yelled mostly but hey my kids turned out pretty well today, they are 19and 21 yr. old and are doing well in college and never gave me any problems.. Thank God....

[Marilyn]

My daughters were not spanked very much. We spanked when the offense was severe and needed to be handled on the spot with immediate, memorable punishment. We were unsure what was best, so we preferred to discuss with them what they did and punish them by taking something away for a while, a toy or a privaledge. Surprisingly, our daughters say we were too easy on them and should have spanked them more. Go figure, did not expect them to feel this way.

I was spanked as a child, and it sure kept me in line. I didn't want to not spank due to Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

All punishment no matter the form, should be given because we love, not out of anger.

[RLC12345678]

I was spanked as a child, and it sure kept me in line. I didn't want to not spank due to Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

All punishment no matter the form, should be given because we love, not out of anger.

Marilyn, I love how you can justify everything you do from the Bible. I really admire you for that. I feel the same exact way as you do about everything on this board so far, and it is because I believe in the Bible. I was spanked as a child per Proverbs 13:24. I am not a mother yet, but when I am, I will punish my children, but if other forms of punishment (i.e. time out, taking things away, ect.) do not work, then I will resort to spanking because bad behavior needs to be punished.

[Kimberley]

Marilyn, I love how you can justify everything you do from the Bible. I really admire you for that. I feel the same exact way as you do about everything on this board so far, and it is because I believe in the Bible. I was spanked as a child per Proverbs 13:24. I am not a mother yet, but when I am, I will punish my children, but if other forms of punishment (i.e. time out, taking things away, ect.) do not work, then I will resort to spanking because bad behavior needs to be punished.

I agree with you! Marilyn, keep those bible verses coming!

[Janet]

My son is 15 now (16 in Dec.) and I can count on one hand the number of times he's been spanked. And even then it wasn't very hard, more of an attention getter. One thing I never did was put his time out in his room. That would be like sending him to Disney for punishment. No he had to sit in the hallway and think about what he had done. He was and is such a great young man and I'm so proud of him. He's only 15 and is working on his Eagle badge for Boy Scouts. :)

[Ellen]

As a child I was BEATEN so bad that I would BLEED, I would wear a pair of jeans to school and the blood would get on them so I got it again I have been beat with a broom, saw my brothers hit with water hoses oh lord all the hell we my brothers and sister went thourgh as children. When I made up my mine not to cry when I got hit it just made it worse,I made up my mind NOT to spank my children and I haven't I would go outside when their father spank them and I would cry harder then they would, for many years this has when on. My daughter is out of the house and works 40 hours a week (but she hates me) My son thinks I can't do anything right he also hates me. My children does not repect me, but I still couldn't spank them if they where small again.

[BabyNicole]

I was wacked in the butt, but never beaten. It startled me, and I knew my mom and dad were mad at me. I don't have kids now, but I wouldn't think twice about tapping them in the a**. :rolleyes:

[Taurus Babe]

I'm surprised at how many people spank! I know it's a great debate, but I was still surprise!

[Amber_lv]

I spank but not beat and i don't abuse but damn sometimes they need a little swat to snap them out of the mode their in!

[Taurus Babe]

I spank but not beat and i don't abuse but damn sometimes they need a little swat to snap them out of the mode their in!
Although I don't agree with hitting or whatever you wanna call it, when Thor goes off the wall sometimes I'll do it but I feel really bad afterewards and realize the only purpose it served was getting my frustration out!

[ldenise]

I did spank. (my children are grown now) . I was spanked when I was a child and it didn't hurt me any. I have thought back to those times and wondered if I had not got that kind of punishment how would it have been. I would have been a brat!
I didn't have to spank my children very often because when I did spank them, it was hard enought that they didn't want it again. That was the purpose, they learned from it. You warn them and if they do wrong again then they get the punishment. They have turned out to be extremely good grown adults.
Children now a days know that they won't be any consequences when they do what they know is wrong. They will gladly take a "sitting down and talking to" approach just to do what they want to do. where is the rearing there? They have you wrapped around their fingers when they choose their punishment.

I have to jump back in here and add that I absolutely hate it when my grandchildren are spanked. (this I refuse to do because that is the parents job).

[Sherry Lynn]

I was wacked in the butt, but never beaten. It startled me, and I knew my mom and dad were mad at me. I don't have kids now, but I wouldn't think twice about tapping them in the a**. :rolleyes:

That's how my parents were. Usually all it took was her 'evil eye' , but when we did something really bad my Mom would take a fly swat and swat us on the backs of our legs. She never took it too far, and we always knew we were loved. And NEVER enough to leave marks much less bleed!

I remember seeing two sisters in gym class... when they went to change clothes they were black and blue all over. I mean big, nasty, deep bruises. Their parents were drunks and their dad had beat them for staying out after curfew. I was so upset I started crying, but they were numb to it... I guess it was nothing new to them. The last I heard they were both leading troubled lives. So sad. They didn't stand a chance.

Back then there was no such thing as an abuse hot line, or I would have called and reported the asshole. He was a prominent business owner in the town, so I guess if people knew they turned a blind eye on it.

[Carolyn]

I have no problem giving my kids a smack in the ass now and then but I find that taking things away from them or sending them to their room works better.

[Courtney]

My mother was beaten as a child. Her mother was strung out on vicaton(sp?) all the time and they never knew when they walked by her if she would grab them and go to town or not. So because of this she swore that she wouldn't ever hit my sister and I. My father never did either so we were never spanked. I believe we turned out fine. Acutally I think we were better behaved then most of our friends and respected our parents greatly. I don't necessarily think that its because we weren't spanked though. I think we behaved because there was constant discipline. We knew that if we did something wrong there would be consequences no questions asked. Another reason I think is that our parents showed a great respect to us and I think we were afraid to lose that or let them down.

I guess I should get to the point now...I don't think there's anything wrong with spanking and I don't have kids yet so I can't say for sure but I don't think spanking will fit into our family, when we start one. It worked just fine for me so I think I'd like to stick with that.

[ginab]

i do believe in it.if they need a spank i would spank them, but dont have children.
my me all the time, felt like everyday was another beating and i turned out just fine. if things back then were like today, i say to my mom she still would of been
in jail... she laughs...

[magnolia]

I have spanked my boys in the past, primarily with my hand - few times with the belt (NO belt buckle) and only 3 licks when either hand or belt was used. My parents spanked me as a child but it did not border on abuse - usually 3 licks for me and my brothers and sisters. My mother was the disciplinarian in the house as she was home 24/7 - she did not believe in telling us "wait til your father gets home" - by the time he got home, we had forgotten what we had done - if she punished us right when it happened, we remembered it. And she always told us after our punishment that she loved us and it hurt her to have to spank us - and she usually had tears in her eyes. I never told my boys to wait til their dad got home - I exacted punishment befitting the crime (time out, taking toys away, or spanking if it was really bad). Now that my boys are in their teens, I just can't bring myself to spank them - it is MUCH more effective to take tv, cell phone, playstation, etc away from them.

For those of you who were abused rather than spanked, God bless you each and everyone! From your posts here that I've read, you have turned out to be such wonderful people - at least your parents didn't take that away from you!

[ginab]

i would say abused, my mom would say spanked,, yeah right mom.. beat is more
like it... but you know what i deserved it, i always had to have the last word.
and still do...ha ha ha,, i laugh about it now, but everyday wow. i would answer her back to no end. what the heck was wrong with me... ?

[Marilyn]

Marilyn, I love how you can justify everything you do from the Bible. I really admire you for that. I feel the same exact way as you do about everything on this board so far, and it is because I believe in the Bible. I was spanked as a child per Proverbs 13:24. I am not a mother yet, but when I am, I will punish my children, but if other forms of punishment (i.e. time out, taking things away, ect.) do not work, then I will resort to spanking because bad behavior needs to be punished.

Thank you for your comments. I don't know that everything that I do can be justified by the Bible, I'm far from perfect. I do believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, that we should not add to it, or take away from it, and it is our personal responsibilty to study and learn what God's will is for our lives. The direction that He gives us is because we are His children and He loves us and wants the best for us.

[Miss_Sara]

meh
I'm strange on this topic
it really depends on the kid
I would never ever judge a parent who did
but I spend a lot of time with children, like pretty much all of my days, either with day care kids or with my young 2-6 year old cousins
I could just never imagine spanking a kid
and that's after I took care of a 2 and 6 year old for a week and a half while their parents were on vacation

I think that if you discipline your child correctly from the beginning then there is not point

maybe a slap on the wrist, but not enough to make them cry out ofpain (faking it is different ha ha ha)

but for some kids they definitly deserve a spanking.

discipline is important, the bible says that it's your job.

[Gutu28]

I could never, would never spank my child. I just dont want my children to be subjected to it. I think there are plenty of other ways to punish instead of resorting to physical punishment. But..to each his own :D

[Willow]

We spank and we have a 3 swat limit per spanking rule. I think there have been a couple times when I issued a fourth swat because they jumped away during the spanking process.