Strip Clubs

[Taurus Babe]

Okay ladies! Here's a sensitive subject. What do you think of men, your bf, your husband going to these. Is it acceptable if you're married? Dating? Do women have a right to tell their men they don't want them going? Does you're man go? Do you think he would go and not tell you? Have you have 'the talk' about this?
Let's hear it. I've got a lot to say on this subject for sure.

[AngieDoogles]

It would be completely unacceptable for me if my husband were to go to one. Even if I didn't feel this way, he still wouldn't go because he respects women. I feel that as a married woman, I have every right to expect that he doesn't go to a place like that (or watch porn or anything similar). I think it is just an issue of respect.

But everyone is different. I'm not trying to preach to anyone; this is just how it is in our marriage.

[blowry]

Funny!!! We JUST had this conversation Saturday...This is my second marriage and my husbands first, Eric was 38 when we got married. He lived in Florida for 17 yrs and of course, strip clubs are EVERYWHERE and, he did frequent them. As far as I know he has only been a couple of times since he's lived in Mass (11 yrs) but, this was before I came into the picture. I told him how I felt about strip clubs. For one, I don't feel a married man has any business in a place like that. IMO...strip clubs are for lonely single men that haven't got a life. Maybe this sounds harsh but, this is how I feel. I would feel very low about myself if hubby went to places like this...what does that say about me....It would make me feel like he isn't happy with what he has. Besides...Eric told me that if he (now he is 45 and I am 50) wants to watch a woman strip he would rather watch me!! LOL! I can swing around a pole!! LOL! I'm not a prude but I just don't think its' right.

[Janet]

You probably already know my opinion, I think they should all be shut down!!!

[Gina]

I never discussed this topic with my husband, I doubt that he ever went to one, but if he did when we were single so what. I don't think I would like him going as a married man as someone mentioned what for.. If it was a bachelor party maybe it wouldnt bother me, but honestly I never gave this subject a thought. I wouldnt like the idea , No.

[Taurus Babe]

Hahaha, Janet!:p

I have to say that I know a lot of men that LIE to their wifes about going!! It's one thing for a single man to go but another for a married man to go and then lie about it!!! GROSS! My bf said that it's a guy thing, and when all the guys wanna go and if he would say that he did want to go cause his girl doesn't want him to then they would all make fun of him. But I TOTALLY agree with Blowry, it doesn't make you feel good. Even though I am totally secure in my relationship, I think it's totally *&^&%$ up to go to these things. At least he told me about it! But then I have to keep hush hush cause his buddies wives can't find out! I told him how upset it made me and he told me he was really sorry he didn't know that. When we first met (started dating) he went to a double stag in Vegas, and I was all for him to have fun at the strip bars (even though it still upset me), but now that we are way more serioius, living together, it's just crap to hear.

I asked, what if women went and watched men sling their shlongs in our face? Men would HATE that. It totally feels like a double standard. And I don't know how it is in your state but here, they can get butt naked!!

Wow, I totalled needed to vent about this. It just totally caught me off gaurd the other night when he took off work to go to a hockey game and spend the night at a buddies but after the game he told me they went to the strip bar. It make me feel sick. Don't get me wrong here, I love my BF dearly, and he is super great to me. I know he loves me. It just shocked me that he one took off work to go out on the town, two, he left me here alone (where I've been sitting since I moved cause I don't have friends here yet) and he told me we were going to stick together (but I know he needs boy time) and three they went to a damn strip bar.

I mean what's the point. To go get all worked up by some hootchie momma's and ultimatley get blue balls? Grrr.

So ladies, what do you think about these places?:eek:

[Taurus Babe]

Oh AND, is it worth getting into an argument about it? Or is it better to just leave the subject alone?

[AngieDoogles]

Oh AND, is it worth getting into an argument about it? Or is it better to just leave the subject alone?

I think he should definitely know how you feel. It's important to be open and honest. You don't want to be married some day and him still think it's okay to go to strip clubs. You can tell him how you feel without causing an argument, most likely. Good luck!

[Mandy]

I have no problem with stripclubs, and young unattached guys going there, i mean.... let them live, and enjoy those pityful woman while they single, but for a guy that's attached to go there, to me is a big no no! What do they want there? Sure it might be a guy thing, as porn movies is a guy thing, but i have to wonder how it would make men feel, if we had to drool all over other men stripping, and doing their thing? Would it make them feel musculine? I don't think so! At least, i don't think the average man would appreciate he's wife/gf, watching or going to clubs like that! So for married men, and attached guys, those clubs should be banned for sure!

[rivermom]

I've never really given it much thought. My husband doesn't go to them and well neither do I.

[Ponyup]

I don't think my husband really likes going. sometimes we'll all go together with some friends for something to do, but that's it. I would only have a problem with him going if he didn't tell me he was going.

[Tink]

I have a real issue with being lied to, regardless of the topic.
If you don't think you're doing anything wrong, why hide it? And if you think it's wrong, why do it?

I have been to strip clubs a couple of times and just don't see the appeal. I do see how it hurts some relationships, and for that reason alone, I don't approve. I feel the same about singles bars, drug use and heavy drinking. If something else is becoming more important than your marriage or family, you need to reassess your priorities.

**getting off my soap box now**

[RLC12345678]

I have a real issue with being lied to, regardless of the topic.
If you don't think you're doing anything wrong, why hide it? And if you think it's wrong, why do it?

I have been to strip clubs a couple of times and just don't see the appeal. I do see how it hurts some relationships, and for that reason alone, I don't approve. I feel the same about singles bars, drug use and heavy drinking. If something else is becoming more important than your marriage or family, you need to reassess your priorities.

**getting off my soap box now**

I agree 110% with everything said here. I know all men are different, but if my hubby ever had the desire to go to a strip club instead of be home with me, there would be some major problems in my house and we would be doing some serious counseling.

[sashajade]

i wouldnt be happy if my partner wanted to go to one and i know he wouldnt like it if i did.
lucky that we dont really have that many in the uk and none near where we live and i know my partner wouldnt wanna go to one anyway, he would go red lol
and he doesnt like that kind of thing anyway.
but i must admitt if he did go to one i would make sure i went to a ladys night strip club just so he knows how it feels even though i cant think of anything worse than having some strange mans dangley bits pushed in my face lol:eek: :D

[Marilyn]

You probably already know my opinion, I think they should all be shut down!!!

I totally agree. The women there need to find a decent way to make a living. People have no business there and by going you are creating a demand for women to degrade themselves.

[RLC12345678]

I totally agree. The women there need to find a decent way to make a living. People have no business there and by going you are creating a demand for women to degrade themselves.
I agree with this, too.

[RLC12345678]

Oh AND, is it worth getting into an argument about it? Or is it better to just leave the subject alone?
I think that if you don't appreciate him going to strip clubs, then you need to let him know!!!!!!! I told my hubby the first day we met that i don't approve of strip clubs. One weekend he went to New Orleans with some guys for a Bachelor Party. All of them went to the strip clubs but my hubby and one other guy. They told their friends that their wives would *kill* them if they went. He blamed it on me. That's fine. I don't care what excuse he gives them, as long as he doesn't go.

[Lissa]

I agree, attached guys going to strip clubs is wrong to the nth degree!!! I don't agree with single guys going either, and I don't like the idea of strip clubs altogether and I wouldn't mind if they just disappeared.

Bragging moment: my guy has never been to a strip club and knowing him I couldn't see him ever going to one. Goodness, the other night we went and saw the movie 300 and in it there's a bit of nudity. In one scene a girl is flailing about wearing what might as well have been strategically placed CGI smoke cause you could see everything. He sighed like he was annoyed by it and turned his head and stared into my eyes until the scene was over so he was focused on me and not the chick on the screen. And there was also a sex scene that was filmed to where all you saw was their rib cages up(luckily it was between a husband and wife but that doesn't mean they should have shown it) and he did the same thing, sighed real annoyed and focused on my eyes so he couldn't see it and so I would know he didn't want to watch it. I love him.

[hunbun]

okay, so i'm going to throw an alternative thought to this discussion. and perhaps it's just because we've a more liberal view of things, but i've gone to strip clubs before with hubby, both when we're dating and after we were married. i've friends who have worked and are working at strip clubs currently either as a hostess or as a stripper. none of them are drug addicts nor do they suffer from poor self esteem or other stereotypical perception of strippers. for instance, a couple of my stripper friends are exhibitionists and enjoy the attention. stripping allows them to express themselves in a safe manner (there are a lot of rules for patrons and security at many stripclubs, and it's not a sexual free-for-all without consent) and get paid for it.

my personal opinion is that strip clubs are just forms of entertainment. it's the motive that makes it "wrong". and quite frankly, i've seen more "stripping" going on at some dance clubs than at higher end strip clubs, but it's the label of "strip club" that makes it "bad" in the eyes of some and "dance club" as being "fine".

i've gone to high end strip clubs where the performances are of similiar calibar as topless cabarets and burlesque shows in cities such as vegas. i think it's common for people (especially women) to gasp and say "no-no" to strip shows but be okay with shows like jubilee at bally's in vegas and discount the similiarities between the two.

on a personal note, my husband neither drinks nor does he smoke. he dislikes bars because he sees a majority of them as cesspools where people drink, get drunk, get stupid, and go on to doing stupid things with themselves and each other. but he doesn't tell me i can't go because he understands that is not my motive for going. he trusts that to me it's just a form of entertainment and i don't get stupid about it. likewise, i would trust that his motive for going to strip clubs with me, with friends, or by himself is not to disrespect me in any way nor will he do anything stupid.

i'm not saying it's all nice and wholesome at these clubs, but i'm am saying that it's unfair to lump everything and everyone of a particular industry into a single category. just my 2 cents.