Devasted...

[Jessica]

I know I haven't posted in a long time but I'm devasted tonight & needed to get it out somewhere...hope you ladies don't mind.

My husband told me tonight that he wants a divorce. I told him I didn't & that I wanted to work on us more but he says he's done & to lazy to work on us anymore so he just wants out. We were married 4 years in February & we have a daughter that will be 2 in May. I'm in shock. I can't quit crying & I feel like I'm going to throw up. It hurts so bad to have the one person you love so much tell you hurtful things like they aren't in love with you anymore.

He is also in the military & so we are stationed at a base. I'm not from here so I will be moving back home, which is going to be hard. I also don't work right now & am in school still. This is the weird part...we are still going to live together until I'm done with school in July. I have no idea how that's going to work. I just don't know what to do. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to stay strong through this because I feel like I'm about to lose it. Thanks for listening (or reading).:(

[Mandy]

Jessica, im so so sorry you have to go thru this! Im glad you turned to 4wt, we are here to help you thru this. You can come and talk to us anytime!
Take it easy, and stay strong for your little girl.
Its sad that your hubby doesnt want to work on your marriage anymore, i do hope he has a change of heart, and will be willing to sort this out.
Hugs to you girl. You are not alone on this!

[Janet]

I am so sorry Jessica. I know your heart must be breaking. Please be strong and keep your head about you so that you can continue to take great care of your little girl. See if you can talk to your Pastor or someone who can give you great advice. You're going to be going through a lot of different emotions...so please take time before you make any decisions.

I know the military can be rough sometimes with couples and families. Maybe see if he will go to counceling too if not, go alone.

I'll keep you in my prayers...let us know how you are...okay? We care.

[Marilyn]

Jessica, so so sorry to hear you are going through such a though time. These ladies have given you good advice. Take care of yourself and you little girl. Find a good counselor who you can talk to that will help you work through this.

I'll be praying for you and your daughter. ((((((((Jessica)))))))

[KristiC]

Jessica I am so sorry you are having to go through this very hard time, please be strong for your daughter she will need you more then anything right now. Hopefully you and your Husband can talk and work all of this out but you know everyone is here for you!!!

[AngieDoogles]

Jessica, I am SO sorry that things are difficult for you right now. I know that you will be strong and this will only make you stronger in the end. I do hope your hubby will see what a huge mistake he is making and will change his mind. If you are supposed to live together until July, then there is still time for him to change his attitude. But I agree with the others, counseling would definitely be a great thing to do. There are so many emotions involved in marriage and especially divorce. We are here for you anytime you need support or just to vent. *Hugs*

[Jessica]

Thanks for the words of encouragement & support! I so need it right now! & also I can't believe I spelled devastated wrong! lol! Probably just spelled it wrong again!:) I really appreciate you guys for the encouragement! I highly doubt my husband will change his mind. He is a very selfish person & just wants to be alone. He doesn't even want to spend time with our daughter ever. He won't go to counseling either....I already asked. He just said he's done & that's it. I feel so lost right now.:(

[Chandra Amaya]

Hon I'm so sorry for you & your daughter. I know this probably sounds bad but it seems to me the two of you will be better without him. If he doesn't want to work on your marriage & doesn't spend time with your little girl I think you getting out so you can concentrate on the two of you is a good thing. I'm sure it doesn't feel like it right now, but in time that will change. It sounds like counseling might help. You need to remember you are a person too & you deserve love. Your daughter esp at the age of two takes alot of time & attention as well. If he isn't willing to do either of these things, he doesn't deserve you our your baby girl. Hold on to her & try to remember the good things in life. This to will pass. All the wonderful ladies here will be here whenever you need us.

[rivermom]

Oh goodness I am so very sorry. I know it might not sound easy but you need to be strong for your daughter and realize that you indeed will heal from this, grow, and move on. Life isn't always going to hurt as bad as it does now.

Be there for your daughter and try to remain positive when around her. When you feel the need to cry don't hold back but maybe go into another room and release those emotions.

Find some happy things in your life now that give you peace.

It sounds like your parents are supporting you emotionally and you will find comfort moving back in with them unti you get on your feet again.

Take deep breaths and feel free to allow us ladies here to be your sounding board. This is why we are here too.

[Shada]

I am so sorry.

Please know you and your little girl are in my thoughts and prayers

I hope he soon understands what he is losing and will work to save your marraige.
Being in the Military can be difficult, maybe he is just feeling over-whelmed right now and is acting out on the one closest to him.

You are not alone.
We are all here for you.

[Janet]

I wish I could do more for you, but please know you and your daughter are in my prayers.

Maybe instead of waiting till July, it's time to go home to your family.

[ILuvShoes]

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. Just pray about it and you'll find the answers. I agree that being near your family and friends would be best for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Forgivenmom5]

Jessica I am so sorry. I went through this when I was 5 months pregnant. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but it will get better. My favorite bible verse is Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Just remember you are coming out of this with your beautiful daughter. She will be your reason for going on until you can do it for yourself.

[Jessica]

Thanks for the words of encouragement & support! It's just getting harder though. I think he's cheating on me now. He's out right now & I think that's what he's doing. I asked him earlier today if he had met someone or planned on dating while we were living together & he said that was none of my business & he meets people all the time. That to me meant that he is cheating. I can't take it anymore. I'm having anxiety attacks & my stomach is in knots. I'm literally shaking right now because I'm so hurt & angry. I can't move out because I don't have a job or any money. I'm afraid if he moves out to a friends that he's going to switch the bank accounts so I won't have any money. It's like were stuck until I'm done with school because neither of us can afford it. I just want this to be over.:(

[Mandy]

jessica, is there no way you could move to your family right now? Heck girl, i feel for you, its definatly not a nice situation to be in.
*hugs*

[Janet]

I don't know the law in all states, but in most...you are allowed to take half that money and go home to your family so they can help you. Don't just sit idly by and wait to see what happens...you have to take steps to help you and your daughter. If you can't go right now...then at least get half that money into your own account so you'll have something to get you started.

[AngieDoogles]

Thanks for the words of encouragement & support! It's just getting harder though. I think he's cheating on me now. He's out right now & I think that's what he's doing. I asked him earlier today if he had met someone or planned on dating while we were living together & he said that was none of my business & he meets people all the time. That to me meant that he is cheating. I can't take it anymore. I'm having anxiety attacks & my stomach is in knots. I'm literally shaking right now because I'm so hurt & angry. I can't move out because I don't have a job or any money. I'm afraid if he moves out to a friends that he's going to switch the bank accounts so I won't have any money. It's like were stuck until I'm done with school because neither of us can afford it. I just want this to be over.:(

Jessica, I'm so sorry. This is such a hard place to be. I knew a couple one time who only stayed married because they had a mortgage and couldn't afford to live apart for a year which is required for a divorce in their state. It's a very sad thing to have to go through, I'm sure. I do agree with the others though. You should take what money is legally yours and go back home. Your family will welcome you with open arms. They don't want to see you suffering like this and your little girl needs to be in a stable environment with good role models to look up to. I think moving on would be best for you and your daughter.

[Jessica]

Both my parents live out of state & are going through a divorce right now too. I'm sure I could move in with them but then I would have to quit school & work 2 jobs to support my daughter. My so called husband didn't come home last night & I just tried to call him & he wouldn't answer. I don't know what to do. We don't have any money for me to take half of cause we're barely getting by. He works 2 jobs. I'm thinking about just asking him to move out to a friends & leave everything as is until I'm done with school. I hope he says ok & doesn't try to screw me.

[highlans]

I know I haven't posted in a long time but I'm devasted tonight & needed to get it out somewhere...hope you ladies don't mind.

My husband told me tonight that he wants a divorce. I told him I didn't & that I wanted to work on us more but he says he's done & to lazy to work on us anymore so he just wants out. We were married 4 years in February & we have a daughter that will be 2 in May. I'm in shock. I can't quit crying & I feel like I'm going to throw up. It hurts so bad to have the one person you love so much tell you hurtful things like they aren't in love with you anymore.

He is also in the military & so we are stationed at a base. I'm not from here so I will be moving back home, which is going to be hard. I also don't work right now & am in school still. This is the weird part...we are still going to live together until I'm done with school in July. I have no idea how that's going to work. I just don't know what to do. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to stay strong through this because I feel like I'm about to lose it. Thanks for listening (or reading).:(

Jessica am so sorry to hear this, you say your husband is in the military will they not help you whilst you are going through this. One thing about our military here they would certainly help the familys if they are going through seperation. For example have trained people to talk with, help with your money, houseing my husbands ex wife was helped very well during there divorce. Go to your husbands C.O. and ask. Good luck.

[AngieDoogles]

Jessica am so sorry to hear this, you say your husband is in the military will they not help you whilst you are going through this. One thing about our military here they would certainly help the familys if they are going through seperation. For example have trained people to talk with, help with your money, houseing my husbands ex wife was helped very well during there divorce. Go to your husbands C.O. and ask. Good luck.

This is great advice! Good luck, Jessica.

[Mandy]

Great advice, i hope they have the same support system there to help! Good luck Jessica!

[Jessica]

I don't know if they do or not. I don't even know where to look & my husband will be no help in that area cause he doesn't care. :(

[Mandy]

I don't know if they do or not. I don't even know where to look & my husband will be no help in that area cause he doesn't care. :(


Jessica, im sure someone on here will know how to go about it. Hang in there, and keep checking in here, bump this thread if you have to, or make a new one.
Dont sit back and do nothing, take action now.

[Nina]

Both my parents live out of state & are going through a divorce right now too. I'm sure I could move in with them but then I would have to quit school & work 2 jobs to support my daughter. My so called husband didn't come home last night & I just tried to call him & he wouldn't answer. I don't know what to do. We don't have any money for me to take half of cause we're barely getting by. He works 2 jobs. I'm thinking about just asking him to move out to a friends & leave everything as is until I'm done with school. I hope he says ok & doesn't try to screw me.

Remember, he is in the military. They will not let him screw you, and they will certainly not let him get away with not supporting his daughter. Talk to a counsellor or someone who can help you there. Or, a military lawyer. Do not just sit there idly by. Good luck!