Marilyn
04-06-2007, 07:59 PM
Things learned in Texas
>
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the
air.
>
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
>
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few
no one has ever seen before.
>
Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.
>
If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
>
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
>
There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.
>
A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
>
The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally
until October 2.
>
Onced and twiced are words.
>
Coldbeer is one word.
>
People actually grow and eat okra.
>
Green grass DOES burn.
>
When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people
drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
>
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few
weeks.
>
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a
doctor.
>
Fix-in-to is one word.
>
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner
and then there's supper.
>
"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking
it when you are two.
>
"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.
>
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"
>
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.
>
You measure distance in minutes or hours.
>
You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
>
Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.
>
You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no
one in them, no matter what time of the year.
>
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a
vegetable.
>
You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both
unlocked.
>
You carry jumper cables for your own car.
>
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
>
You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and
Tabasco.
>
You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
>
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
>
The first day of deer season is a state holiday.
>
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
>
You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.
>
The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
>
You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas
as soon as he opens his mouth.
>
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or
"off to Wally-world."
>
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin'
weather.
>
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke
regardless of brand or flavor.
>
Texans understand these jokes. If you do too, share them with your
friends from Texas. If you don't just come and stay awhile.
Yee Haaaaaaa!!!:p
>
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the
air.
>
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
>
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few
no one has ever seen before.
>
Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.
>
If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!
>
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
>
There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.
>
A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
>
The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally
until October 2.
>
Onced and twiced are words.
>
Coldbeer is one word.
>
People actually grow and eat okra.
>
Green grass DOES burn.
>
When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people
drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
>
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few
weeks.
>
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a
doctor.
>
Fix-in-to is one word.
>
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner
and then there's supper.
>
"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking
it when you are two.
>
"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.
>
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"
>
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.
>
You measure distance in minutes or hours.
>
You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
>
Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.
>
You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no
one in them, no matter what time of the year.
>
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a
vegetable.
>
You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both
unlocked.
>
You carry jumper cables for your own car.
>
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
>
You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and
Tabasco.
>
You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
>
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.
>
The first day of deer season is a state holiday.
>
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
>
You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.
>
The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
>
You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas
as soon as he opens his mouth.
>
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or
"off to Wally-world."
>
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin'
weather.
>
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke
regardless of brand or flavor.
>
Texans understand these jokes. If you do too, share them with your
friends from Texas. If you don't just come and stay awhile.
Yee Haaaaaaa!!!:p