husband's brother is coming

[Chandra Amaya]

Ok it's not exactly a vent but I thought it fits here better than anywhere else. My husband's younger but bigger brother is coming in today. I have only met him in person once. He was quiet & it was brief but he seemed ok. This was 3 years ago. He is always nice on the phone but quick & to the point. I feel awful though. My husband adores this man (they are only like 18 months apart). I don't like him not because of what I have seen but because of the stories I have heard. He did take some of my husbands things that he had planned on going back to get when he moved in with me which was the first thing that I didn't like about him. The stories I have heard from their family makes him sound like a macho, male shovinist pig type. I want to atleast get along with him for my hubby. Who do I put the feelings I have about him aside and be "nice" without seeming fake? One of the things I hate is when people pretend to be or feel something they aren't or don't. I don't want to do this but want my hubby to be happy at the same time. any ideas?

[AngieDoogles]

I think first of all, try to give him a chance. You haven't actually met him or gotten to know him so he may turn out to be completely different than you expect. And if he is someone you don't really like, you can be nice without being fake. Just don't try to overdo it. Does that make sense? It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say...

[Janet]

You need to make your own decision about this guy, and not let others influence you. There must be something really great about this guy for your husband to care about him so much, besides being brothers. Just be yourself with no pre-conceived notions and you'll be just fine.

[Chandra Amaya]

I think first of all, try to give him a chance. You haven't actually met him or gotten to know him so he may turn out to be completely different than you expect. And if he is someone you don't really like, you can be nice without being fake. Just don't try to overdo it. Does that make sense? It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say...
I do understand what you mean & thanks Ang. I hope I do like him if for no other reason, for my hubby & our daughter. It will be his first time meeting her. His only niece :) . He also may be going to Iraq soon so this is a great time for him to see her & for my husband to have time with him.

[Chandra Amaya]

You need to make your own decision about this guy, and not let others influence you. There must be something really great about this guy for your husband to care about him so much, besides being brothers. Just be yourself with no pre-conceived notions and you'll be just fine.
Very true Janet. My husband is a very goos judge of character & I normally like everyone he does. I just need to find the reasons he loves his brother so much. :)

[Janet]

I always find if I open my heart, I can find good in most anyone.

[AngieDoogles]

I always find if I open my heart, I can find good in most anyone.

That's true Janet. You just have to be willing. :)

[Tink]

Ditto what Janet said.
You don't have to love him, just treat him as you would any new friend of the family and let it grow from there.

[Chandra Amaya]

Ditto what Janet said.
You don't have to love him, just treat him as you would any new friend of the family and let it grow from there.
So true Thank you very much Tink. I guess I have been trying to figure out how to love him as much as I do his sisiter (who has stayed with us & I've actually gotten to know). You are right. I don't have to love him or really even like him yet. I just have to get to know him for now. :)

[Forgivenmom5]

Just have an open mind and give it a chance. If it does turn out you don't care for him remember he won't be here long and if John has the chance he will have him occupied with video games a lot. You have put up with people you didn't really like for a lot longer than that.

[Chandra Amaya]

Just have an open mind and give it a chance. If it does turn out you don't care for him remember he won't be here long and if John has the chance he will have him occupied with video games a lot. You have put up with people you didn't really like for a lot longer than that.
very very true. He will be leaving Sunday afternoon so he is only here for about 24 hrs & John is so excited about seeing him. I hope it goes well :)

[AngieDoogles]

very very true. He will be leaving Sunday afternoon so he is only here for about 24 hrs & John is so excited about seeing him. I hope it goes well :)

I'm sure everything will be wonderful chica. Don't worry. :)

[Mandy]

I agree with the above posts. Hope all works out great for you guys!! :)

[Chandra Amaya]

Thank you so much for your encouragement & support ladies. :D How did we ever get through things before finding 4WT?

[AngieDoogles]

Thank you so much for your encouragement & support ladies. :D How did we ever get through things before finding 4WT?

We just never knew what we were missing!

[Chandra Amaya]

We just never knew what we were missing!
so very true!!

[AngieDoogles]

so very true!!

You know I'm always right!! LOL (That was definitely sarcasm...)

[Chandra Amaya]

It went so much better than I thought. I put the stories I've heard out of my mind & just tried to get to know him for myself. He did not put the baby down the whole time she was awake. He even had her on his lap playing video games with my hubby. He really amazed me how well he did with her. I actually had fun with him as well. We made fun of my hubby together :D . Something We do alot but its all joking. (our nicknames for each other are shorty & geek. I'm shorty :) ).He only stayed from 7pm Saturday until 11:30 am Sunday. I am actually looking forward to seeing him again. Thanks so much for the advice & words of encourage ladies!!! You all rock!!:thumbup: :cool:

[Chandra Amaya]

OHHH forgot to add. He also brought the baby the most BEAUTIFUL dress. It's mint green, has light pink flowers on it & looks like it must have cost atleast $80. Its just too cute. Angie doesn't know yet (she willread it first here hee hee) But when it warms up some (the dress is also sleeveless), I'm going to ask Angie to make some outdoor back drops & take some pictures of her for me :D

[AngieDoogles]

OHHH forgot to add. He also brought the baby the most BEAUTIFUL dress. It's mint green, has light pink flowers on it & looks like it must have cost atleast $80. Its just too cute. Angie doesn't know yet (she willread it first here hee hee) But when it warms up some (the dress is also sleeveless), I'm going to ask Angie to make some outdoor back drops & take some pictures of her for me :D

Aww! I would love to do that!!! She will be a beautiful subject, that's for sure! :)

[DianaB]

I'm so glad that everything went well. And it sounds like he got along really well with the baby and brought her a wonderful gift! After Angie takes some pictures you'll have to post them on here so we can see too!

[Chandra Amaya]

Aww! I would love to do that!!! She will be a beautiful subject, that's for sure! :)
I told mom I was going to ask you yesterday:D . She said you would love the idea.

[Chandra Amaya]

I'm so glad that everything went well. And it sounds like he got along really well with the baby and brought her a wonderful gift! After Angie takes some pictures you'll have to post them on here so we can see too!
Thank you Diana & yes I will definitely post the pics Angie's work is unbelievably awesome.:D

[rivermom]

I'm late jumping into this thread, sorry. :o And I know he's come and gone but for the future, here's some advise...

You don't have to like a person to be polite. (I've learned this the hard way LOL)
Because you respect your Hubby and you want to please him, you can be the better person in situations like these by just being cordial and polite. Then when you go into a room, close the door, you can turn around and make really ugly faces at him and nobody will ever know the difference! :D


I do this all the time with my Inlaws. Most of them drive me insane!

[AngieDoogles]

I'm late jumping into this thread, sorry. :o And I know he's come and gone but for the future, here's some advise...

You don't have to like a person to be polite. (I've learned this the hard way LOL)
Because you respect your Hubby and you want to please him, you can be the better person in situations like these by just being cordial and polite. Then when you go into a room, close the door, you can turn around and make really ugly faces at him and nobody will ever know the difference! :D


I do this all the time with my Inlaws. Most of them drive me insane!

LOL! Sheryl, you are hilarious!! :) That was great advice though. Glad to have you back!

[Chandra Amaya]

I'm late jumping into this thread, sorry. :o And I know he's come and gone but for the future, here's some advise...

You don't have to like a person to be polite. (I've learned this the hard way LOL)
Because you respect your Hubby and you want to please him, you can be the better person in situations like these by just being cordial and polite. Then when you go into a room, close the door, you can turn around and make really ugly faces at him and nobody will ever know the difference! :D


I do this all the time with my Inlaws. Most of them drive me insane!
lol thanks for the advice Sheryl I'll try that with some of the family I don't like :D

[AngieDoogles]

lol thanks for the advice Sheryl I'll try that with some of the family I don't like :D

Like me? lol :p

[Chandra Amaya]

Like me? lol :p
:rolleyes: I was more thinking like grandparents & a side of the family that pops up every once in awhile. :p

[rivermom]

Like me? lol :p


LOL, you take that back! I am SURE it isn't YOU. :p Goofy Girl!! ;)

[Chandra Amaya]

LOL, you take that back! I am SURE it isn't YOU. :p Goofy Girl!! ;)
You tell her Sheryl :thumbup:

[AngieDoogles]

LOL, you take that back! I am SURE it isn't YOU. :p Goofy Girl!! ;)

Hahaha! Gotta love sibling rivalries, eh? :)

But really, I love my sister a lot and I'm very lucky to have her in my life.

[Forgivenmom5]

I'm late jumping into this thread, sorry. :o And I know he's come and gone but for the future, here's some advise...

You don't have to like a person to be polite. (I've learned this the hard way LOL)
Because you respect your Hubby and you want to please him, you can be the better person in situations like these by just being cordial and polite. Then when you go into a room, close the door, you can turn around and make really ugly faces at him and nobody will ever know the difference! :D


I do this all the time with my Inlaws. Most of them drive me insane!
We love you Sheryl--you always make us laugh--Good to have you back

[Forgivenmom5]

Hahaha! Gotta love sibling rivalries, eh? :)

But really, I love my sister a lot and I'm very lucky to have her in my life.
And I am lucky to have them both in my life

[Chandra Amaya]

Hahaha! Gotta love sibling rivalries, eh? :)

But really, I love my sister a lot and I'm very lucky to have her in my life.
awwwwww :blush: I'm the lucky one. ;)

[Chandra Amaya]

And I am lucky to have them both in my life
awwwww :blush: even more. We are both (well all) very lucky to have a mom who was mom & dad both for most of our lives. Not many people could have done it esp not with 5 kids. :D