What would you do?

[Mandy]

My son of 15 has been invited to go to a concert with a friend this sunday, but now on sunday it's also my Mom's Birthday, and i don't know what to do. I have asked him what he would like to do, and he says, whatever i want him to do is fine with him, i know going to a concert is way more fun than a BD party.

What would be the right thing to do, let him go and have fun, or drag him along with us so he can sit with old people?

My mother can be quite touchy and i don't want to hurt any feelings :rolleyes:

[highlans]

Let him go to his concert and take him to see your mum on Saturday.
He will think your a cool mum.:)

[Mandy]

The plan was that he would spend the weekend at he's friends house, but i'll speak to him about going to my Mom's on saterday night.

My husband told me, to let him go to the concert, he's only young once, but i don't want to upset anyone :rolleyes:

[magnolia]

My vote would be to also let him go to the concert. He's not a "little boy" any longer and, as hard as it is for us parents to accept (mine are 16 and 13), there comes a time that doing things with their friends is more important than anything else. If your mom lives in town, then he can visit with her anytime - I would view this differently if she lived out of town and you were traveling to spend the week-end with her. As your husband said, he's only going to be young once! If Saturday won't work, take him Friday night or Monday night.

[Janet]

My son of 15 has been invited to go to a concert with a friend this sunday, but now on sunday it's also my Mom's Birthday, and i don't know what to do. I have asked him what he would like to do, and he says, whatever i want him to do is fine with him, i know going to a concert is way more fun than a BD party.

What would be the right thing to do, let him go and have fun, or drag him along with us so he can sit with old people?

My mother can be quite touchy and i don't want to hurt any feelings :rolleyes:

Mandy you are so much braver than I am. My son is 15 too, but I don't know about my son going to a concert just yet. Closest concert would be an hour away. If it was with a bunch of friends and an adult driving...than maybe. I wish I wasn't so overprotective, but I am so afraid of the nuts out there on the road. My son doesn't seem to mind when I tell him I don't think it's a great idea. The other day he wanted to go spend the night with a friend. I said okay, no problem. Then he told me later that he and his friend were going to spend the night at the home of a 21 year old playing videos games. I had to change my mind and tell him no, that if he was going to his friends house and staying there, then fine, but a 21 year old needed to be with his own age group. Why would a 21 year old want to hang with 15 year olds for?

[RLC12345678]

I would let him go to the concert, but I would definately have to make a compromise and make him visit with your mother at some point this weekend. Yes, he will only be young once, but his grandmother will not always be around. When he gets older, he may not remember the concert, but he will remember the times he spent with his grandmother and probably wish he had more time to spend with her.

[Emmsmom]

I would let him go as well. He can visit his grandmother before or after her birthday.

Michelle

[cindy0721]

can he go for a bit to say hi to grandma then leave?

[Mandy]

Mandy you are so much braver than I am. My son is 15 too, but I don't know about my son going to a concert just yet. Closest concert would be an hour away. If it was with a bunch of friends and an adult driving...than maybe. I wish I wasn't so overprotective, but I am so afraid of the nuts out there on the road. My son doesn't seem to mind when I tell him I don't think it's a great idea. The other day he wanted to go spend the night with a friend. I said okay, no problem. Then he told me later that he and his friend were going to spend the night at the home of a 21 year old playing videos games. I had to change my mind and tell him no, that if he was going to his friends house and staying there, then fine, but a 21 year old needed to be with his own age group. Why would a 21 year old want to hang with 15 year olds for?


Janet, no my son's friends parents are going with them to the concert sunday afternoon. There's NO WAY i would allow him to go out on he's own in this crazy world we live in at this age!!
They are going to watch local talents, and he's friends parents bought the tickets, the mother phoned me yesterday to ask me if they could take Collin (my son) with them. ;)

[Kimberley]

Have the party earlier in the day and then after the party, he can go to the concert.

[Jlynn]

I've got to agree with most everyone here. Let him go, but he needs to agree to go see Grandma at some other point. May as well cross this bridge now, it's not going to be the last time!

BTW, hope he has a great time at the concert!

[Mandy]

Thanks girls ;) He will go visit my Mom today, and give her the pressie he bought her, and he will explain to her that he won't be there tomorrow.
I have already told her between nose and lips that he was invited to the concert, and she said," awwww let him go, he will enjoy it". But i want him to tell her himself.

It may sound like i'm making a big deal outta this, but my parents have returned to Holland just 3 months ago, and this is her first BD here, so my son has never been with he's grandma for her BD ;)

[Janet]

Janet, no my son's friends parents are going with them to the concert sunday afternoon. There's NO WAY i would allow him to go out on he's own in this crazy world we live in at this age!!
They are going to watch local talents, and he's friends parents bought the tickets, the mother phoned me yesterday to ask me if they could take Collin (my son) with them. ;)


Oh good!!! I know I'm a little overprotective, but then really started questioning myself. I'm glad you feel the same way..so now I can relax a little bit about my overprotectiveness. It's just too scary out in the world today. He will have his drivers license in January and I am just dreading this so much. He keeps talking about how great it will be like he will be driving all the time. I had to remind him that he can still ride the bus (save gas and money) unless he has something going on after school. And that he's going to have to have a part-time job to help pay for whatever vehicle he can afford with gas and insurance. He has a good head on his shoulders, he just needs reminded of things once in a while.

[Mandy]

Oh good!!! I know I'm a little overprotective, but then really started questioning myself. I'm glad you feel the same way..so now I can relax a little bit about my overprotectiveness. It's just too scary out in the world today. He will have his drivers license in January and I am just dreading this so much. He keeps talking about how great it will be like he will be driving all the time. I had to remind him that he can still ride the bus (save gas and money) unless he has something going on after school. And that he's going to have to have a part-time job to help pay for whatever vehicle he can afford with gas and insurance. He has a good head on his shoulders, he just needs reminded of things once in a while.


They all need reminders from time to time girl ;)
One thing i'm very grateful for is that in Europe, kids can start learning for their drivers licence at the age of 18.

A man at the garage was telling us that he's friend has a son, who also just started driving, he's father warned him after he got he's first speeding fine, that after the second speeding fine he would get he's car back in a box shape.
Sure enough a week later he got he's second speeding fine, so the father took he's car to the scrap yard and had it crumbled into a box. He told he's son, he rather see he's car in a box then having to bring him away in a box.

[Janet]

They all need reminders from time to time girl ;)
One thing i'm very grateful for is that in Europe, kids can start learning for their drivers licence at the age of 18.

A man at the garage was telling us that he's friend has a son, who also just started driving, he's father warned him after he got he's first speeding fine, that after the second speeding fine he would get he's car back in a box shape.
Sure enough a week later he got he's second speeding fine, so the father took he's car to the scrap yard and had it crumbled into a box. He told he's son, he rather see he's car in a box then having to bring him away in a box.

I sure wish they had to wait here until they were 18. I know we can make them wait, but it's hard. They look forward to it from the time they are 13 I think. :)

[Mandy]

I sure wish they had to wait here until they were 18. I know we can make them wait, but it's hard. They look forward to it from the time they are 13 I think. :)


They do i know ... our son is already telling us what kind of car he wants. All we do is giggle and tell him to WORK HARD and find a GOOD paying job LOL

[Janet]

That's what we tell ours. We just won't be able to afford to buy him a car. He's going to have to do that on his own. We will try to help him when we can, but it's mostly his responsibilty. It is so hard because a lot of his friends are telling him their parents are buying them a car. I just don't feel it teaches them any responibility. They need to know the value of the dollar and the value of their vehicle and the maintenance...etc. His very best friend informed him yesterday that his parents bought him a PT Cruiser for $8000 off of ebay. They are going this weekend to Pennyslvania to pick it up. He doesn't even get his license until May of next year. I just don't get some of these parents!! Most would think I'm just envious of them being able to do that for their son, but it's more than that really. It's not teaching them anything at all. My son seems to understand, but at this age..he still can't help being envious. :)

[Mandy]

We used to give give give, and think to ourselves "awww why not we only have 1" but we have so come back from thinking that, simply because kids need to learn the value of things, and they need to learn that it does NOT come all that easy, how hard they have to work to be able to buy the things they want. That's the only way they will start appreciating what they have.

My son get's a weekly allowence (pocket money) if he goes to movies with friends or he goes and does other things, or he needs parts for he's RC cars, he has to do it with he's own money.
He is now looking for a part time job, for extra's because we don't supply them anymore!

[Janet]

I know exactly what you mean! I have never been late on a payment or bill of any kind and I think it's because I started working the day after I turned 16 in a department store. I got my car and my parents did co-sign for me, but Mom was and is a tough lady. She told me that if I was ever late on my car payment or insurance, it didn't matter if I had the money, the car was going. I knew Mom meant it too, and that has stuck with me all these years. I want my son to know the value of a dollar. For the past two summers he worked at the flower shop his grandparents owned and he's so tight with his money, he has most of it left.

We never gave him an allowance. We explained (when he asked why he didn't and his friends did get an allowance) to him that we do things in and around our home because we take pride in it. His dad and I didn't get paid to do things around the house. BUT..if he went above and beyond what was expected of him.. then there would be monetary or gift rewards. It has worked for us. Of course we spoil him on his birthday and Christmas, but that's about it. He turning out to be a great young man!! :)