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judy
06-14-2007, 09:30 AM
Since I retired, I don't get to see the friends I worked with too often. They're working, and busy on the weekends with their chores, families, etc. I made up my mind to try my hardest to maintain relationships with the people I really care about, whatever their immediate response.

For example, one friend has had an upgrade in her responsibilities at work, just became a grandmother, takes care of her elderly mother, her husband and difficult son. I invited her and 2 other friends out for my 60th birthday, but only 1 from that group could make it. This friend claimed financial issues and the other one was busy that night. I love them both, and there's always more to the story than meets the eye, but I decided not to take it personally and will continue to try to get together with them.

I'm seeing the friend who went to dinner with me tonight. I'd love to just pick her up from work and go out for a cup of coffee and visit for a couple of hours. She's just not that way. So - I'm going to her house, I have to stay for dinner with her husband and father, she called me twice about the menu, etc., etc. It's a good thing I love her, because this is a lot of work!

The funny part of it is that I can't eat. I'm going through major dental work and really can't eat out. I have a temporary, kind of delicate, removable bridge so I eat at home where I can remove it and not worry about it breaking. It's not a big deal at all. She knows this too, but can't seem to not be the hostess of the year.

I'm exhausted already!

AngieDoogles
06-14-2007, 09:41 AM
Aww, I'm sorry this is a difficult time for you in some of your friendships. Major life changes always have an adjustment period and I'm sure you'll find the perfect way to deal with this in time. :)

Sometimes friendships are just difficult, but if you are willing to work, it will be worth it in the end! *hugs*

I hope you have fun at your friend's dinner even if you can't eat. At least you get to enjoy her company.

Tink
06-14-2007, 10:06 AM
Judy, I think it's wonderful that you're making the effort to continue these friendships. It's all too easy (and common) to let them slide and regret it later.


:thumbup:

Mandy
06-14-2007, 01:22 PM
Judy, you rock girl!! Its wonderful of you to not let go of those friendships. Your friends are very lucky to have you around!!:thumbup:

Janet
06-14-2007, 04:48 PM
Judy it's great that you are willing to put forth the effort to maintain these friendships. I didn't nurture a few of mine as I should have and now we don't speak very often, still good friends, just don't make contact enough. Some have moved farther away, which makes it difficult for me, but I should have put forth more effort. Seems like there is always something to do and when not, I'm just beat. Why can't life be more simple like it use to be....

judy
06-14-2007, 05:11 PM
Thanks for all of your support guys! I just came home from my friend's house, and it was wonderful. She made the best pea soup I have ever tasted! I took Max, who immediately pooped on her floor, but she has cats so was fine about it.

We had a wonderful visit and it was well worth the effort expended. Good friendships have to be worked on, but what you get back is priceless.

AngieDoogles
06-14-2007, 06:20 PM
Good friendships have to be worked on, but what you get back is priceless.

Beautifully said Judy...and SO true!

Marilyn
06-14-2007, 06:50 PM
So glad your evening turned out nice!!!

Gina
06-15-2007, 05:31 AM
Hey Judy, so glad that you had a good time :) and to boot she made you pea soup.. Now that is some friend, knowing that you can't eat that well.

As far as being a friend, you happen to be a good one, realizing that people have many things going on in their lives and can't always be accessiable.. They are lucky to have you as a friend...

HAPPY 60th Birthday! you look great!

judy
06-15-2007, 12:41 PM
Hey Judy, so glad that you had a good time :) and to boot she made you pea soup.. Now that is some friend, knowing that you can't eat that well.

As far as being a friend, you happen to be a good one, realizing that people have many things going on in their lives and can't always be accessiable.. They are lucky to have you as a friend...

HAPPY 60th Birthday! you look great!


Awww...thanks!