What to do...

[Lindsey]

Hey everyone... I've had a bit of a stressful week and I guess I'm looking for advice or just to vent a little...
In my last thread I mentioned Kyle. We had been seeing each other for a month or two and then decided to start dating. I really like him. He does cute fun things with me that every other guy I've dated has refused to do. He takes me to the zoo, walks down by the river, bowling, we go out for mini golf and ice cream, he even took me to the wavepool I loved going to as a kid (turns out it's much tinier than I remember and not quite as fun as an adult!) I love his friends and his friends love me, and I like that he tries to protect me and has no problem showing affection to me in front of anyone.
Well all of a sudden he's gotten a grudge against my dog. Layla is my life, we're a package deal. I don't mind if there's little things he doesn't like, because she does get annoying sometimes! But last week it just started where he'd be constantly saying my dog smells bad and I need to bathe her more (I bathe her once a week... she only starts to smell a little bad right before bathtime after she's accidently gotten some pee on her hair, so I've started trimming that constantly to keep him happy). So after that he complains that she still pees on pee pads... well excuse me but I'm at work all day and she can't hold it that long! I also don't have a full fence around my yard so anytime she has to go I'd have to put on her harness and leash and walk her around the yard. The pads work for our lifestyle. So then he complains that she sleeps on my bed! We've had at least 3 blow-ups in the past week about it, and last night I couldn't take it and said "Just leave" and he walked out of my house and drove away.
I don't know what to do. He texted me as soon as he left and said he doesn't want to fight. I told him I wanted to talk. We drove around for awhile and parked and talked. I cried a lot. Basically he said he doesn't want to fight and he wants to be with me but he seems to get more and more annoyed everytime he sees my dog. I don't want to break up with him because he really does make me so happy whenever he's not mad about my dog. He said he'll just try not to be so vocal about it but is it going to be any better if he's just keeping it all inside? I'm confused and I don't know what to do about the situation :(

[Lissa]

Wow, I don't know. Since it would seem yall have already had a talk about it my usual (and best) advice of talking about it won't seem to work. This is a problem he's going to have to be mature about. She's you're dog and like you said it's a package deal, and his problem with the pee pads is ridiculous. Maybe he's a bit of a germaphobe and views it as unsanitary. The way I see it this is all him, and he's the one that needs to be mature about it, maybe he could offer to help you give her a bath or something. But from what I've seen and experienced, bottling things up doesn't end well when things eventually overflow.

If you haven't already, I'd sit him down and explain to him that you love your Layla and she's a part of your life and she's going to be a part of your life for some time, and that you don't want this getting in the way of yall's relationship. I'd do it when he's not flustered about it, bring it up when he's calm and collected that way he won't have his emotions getting in the way of hearing what you're saying.

Also this isn't a favorable trait, I know my boyfriend has a bit of a short temper sometimes and even I can't calm him down too well when he's really frustrated and that scares me sometimes. I'm hoping that as he matures he'll get better at it. Same with your guy, he probably just has a bit of maturing to do cause from an outsider's point of view it's a tad bit pathetic on his part that he's letting something like this come between yall.

[Lindsey]

Thanks Lissa, and I agree that he's being a little immature about it. He even admitted last night that there's no reason we should even be fighting about a dog. I asked if I changed everything that upset him, would he find something new to fight about? He said he didn't know. It seems to be just how he is. I know in his past relationships there was a lot of fighting... I never thought it was because of him but maybe it is. Even he admitted maybe he's just the screwed up one in every relationship. So I said "Do you even want to be with me or is there some reason you're trying to make me mad because it seems intentional" and he said he wants to be with me more than anything, and he wants us to be happy together and stop fighting. I asked if I'm worth putting up with my dog. He couldn't answer. Layla's only a year and a half old, she's going to be with me still for a long time. He suggested maybe we just hang out away from my house so I said "Well what if this works out? In 10 years would we still be hanging out away from my house?" I just don't understand this at all. At the start he loved her and played with her all the time and talked about how cute she was... Now he's trying to make her scared of him so she doesn't come near him... he said he hates when she's even in the same room.

I just met him for lunch because I've been having a really bad day at work, I was so stressed out I even had some tears overflow on my way to meet him. He gave me a hug and a kiss and talked to me about it until I felt better. That's the part of him I've fallen for, that's how he is 90% of the time.

[Tink]

Lindsey, is it possible that he's a bit of a control freak?
If so, it's best to recognize it early.

When my dh and I were dating I had 3 adult german shepherds. He knew without being told that they weren't going anywhere. One of them got badly injured and required expensive surgery. After the surgery was done the hospital informed me that I couldn't take her home until I'd paid them in full. They would of course be charging me a boarding fee every day that she was there as well. When I was sitting home crying over it and trying to decide how I was going to afford to pay for it, HE went to the vet hosp, paid for it, and brought her home to me!

THIS is the kind of guy you want in your life for the long-term. He doesn't have to love your dog, but he should love you enough to accept that part of your life without making you feel you need to choose between the 2 of them.

I don't know what you should do, as it's a decision only you can make; but I'd definitely see it as a warning flag as to his true character.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Lindsey]

Thanks Tink. I don't really feel that he's a control freak. With anything else he's very laid back. Your story made me think of the FIRST day we started dating... Of course we'd been seeing each other for awhile and we'd been friends for more than a year before that. My other love is sportbikes. If you remember, I bought one earlier this year and I've developed a passion for riding. So this day he drove me to pick up my bike after the first tune-up so I could enjoy the day on my bike while he and his friends went wakeboarding at the lake. He asked if he should wait for me but I said no I'll be fine! So he drove away to pick up his friends. Turns I didn't have enough money in my account to pay for it and I was stranded there. After getting through to him he came right back. I thought he was going to just take me home and I'd wait for my next paycheck to pick up my bike. Nope, he paid for it, and I got to ride. He wasn't even anxious for me to pay him back.
I don't think he will ever love my dog. But I think I can also work on her a little to be less needy. I got her when I was heartbroken and lonely and she was everything to me, and I pretty much gave everything to her. Kyle calls it her "princess attitude" and it really kind of is... When she whines, I'm right there for her. Kyle has two big dogs so I guess there's a big difference there. This whole thing was set off when I said if I don't have someone to at least give Layla fresh cold water for the weekend, I'd be taking her with us to my cabin. He said if his dogs can drink warm water and not die, why can't mine?

[Marilyn]

Lindsey, sounds like he might be just a little bit jealous and resents your dog for this reason. This could be something to think about for the long term. He could feel this way about children, also, and that would definitely not be good. You've been hurt before, and excuse us if we start acting a little bit motherly toward you, but we do care about you and know you deserve the best!!!

[RLC12345678]

Lindsey, I can totally relate. When I started dating my now dh in college, we both had dogs. I had a yorkie that my ex-boyfriend had given me and he had a lab that his ex-girlfriend had given him. We both hated each other's dogs because they represented our ex's. Both of our dogs ended up going to live with our parents, for many reasons, not just because we didn't like each other's dogs. Anyway, to this day our parents still have our dogs we had in college & now DH and I have a lab and yorkies that are OURS, not just his and hers. I'm sure your bf doesn't like Layla bc Layla isn't HIS. If I were you, I would try really hard to get your BF to accept Layla and try to make her "his" as well as "yours." Ask him to take her on walks and help you give her baths. Try to make him feel like you aren't putting Layla in front of him (even if you are). If it gets REALLY serious (or if it already is) between you two, refer to him as her "daddy." Make him hold her and give him kisses. I think he'll come around in time if he really loves you and if it was meant to be. Some people just aren't dog lovers. Hubby and I both love OUR dogs, but neither of us are keen on other people's dogs.

[AngieDoogles]

Great advice Rebecca!! :thumbup:

[Lindsey]

Thanks for all the replies!
My ex was very jealous of Layla. He admitted it. Whenever he came over he got upset when I'd give attention to her (for most of our relationship we lived 2 hours apart so we just got weekends together). He always asked why she has to sit on the couch with us, why does she get to be in my room while we slept, etc. Kyle and my ex are friends. Kyle told me that night that we had our talk that maybe it's just because Ryden hated my dog so much, he thinks most of his dislike just comes from stories Ryden has told him.
And, the first night we had a fight about her, I said something I regret... I was trying to tell him that she's huge part of my life and that would never change. I said "I love her more than I could ever love a person" and he got even more angry and said what's the point of even dating me. It's not something I should have said, but I think it's true!
Rebecca, I know he is a dog lover, but he's a "big dog" lover. He hates little "wussy dogs" like mine. Like I've said before, she is very princessy and sort of high maintenance. I have to brush her every night and bathtime takes an hour every week. But soon I'm giving her a shorter cut for the summer so that should cut down on a lot of time... He just doesn't understand why I have to brush my dog at all or why I do anything for her.
Oh and Marilyn, I love that you all care so much. My relationship with my mom isn't so great and I never talk to her about things like this... she hardly ever knows when I'm even dating someone! So I'm really glad I have all of you to talk to!

[Tink]

Lindsey, You'll get all the surrogate mothering here that you can handle. LOL

[Lindsey]

Lindsey, You'll get all the surrogate mothering here that you can handle. LOL

haha well everyone needs a mom or two right?

[DianaB]

Lindsay, your boyfriend has admitted that he's jealous of your dog. He's jealous of the attention that you give her so try not to give her much attention while he's there. He wants to feel that he's number 1 in your life, not number 2 after a dog. My husband feels the same way and I've quit giving Reuger as much attention when dh is home. Also, you may need to train Layla not to jump on the couch or bed so you can have that privacy as well or put her in the bathroom or kennel. Good luck.

[Lindsey]

The problem is I LOVE having Layla with me. I'm not with Kyle all the time, and when he's not around I like laying on the couch and having her come cuddle up next to me, or having her to cuddle in bed. I guess lately while I sleep Kyle kicks her off the bed. I woke up once and he said he does it all the time. She won't even sleep with just me anymore :( He only spends the night maybe one or two nights a week... on the weekend if we go out and get home late he just stays over. The rest of the week I'm kind of lonely without her! I can get her on the bed but she won't even lay down, she'll jump off and go sleep on the floor. I feel bad putting her in a seperate room when he comes over. I want them to have a relationship. Everytime he pushes her away she looks at me with her big sad eyes like I should do something about it and I'm so torn!

[Marilyn]

Lindsey, I'm sorry, but to me it looks like if you really want this guy around you are going to have to make some concessions for both you and Layla. You can't have him kicking her off the bed!!! If he's going to keep being there, you need to kennel train her so that she can sleep in the kennel when he is there and learn that it is safe to sleep in the bed with you when he is not there. For your and Layla's sanity and safety, this might be the best solution.

I have my little Zoe and know how close we can be to our furbabies. Melissa can vouch for that. However, it's not fair to her to have him kicking her around.

[Lindsey]

I was just thinking about this some more... and maybe he doesn't really hate the dog, but hates me constantly telling him he can't do whatever he's doing. He plays rough with his dogs. So when he used to play with Layla and start getting a little rough I'd be like "Be careful of her back, that's hard on it" or "Don't hurt her legs!" or "That's scaring her!" So maybe now he just wants to not be around her at all. He's very very stubborn, and so am I. I know he hates to be wrong (what guy doesn't?!) so maybe this is just his way of acting out at me. It just came about so suddenly that I really can't make myself believe that he just started not liking her and being so expressive about it out of nowhere.

[Gina]

Lindsey, think of it ,Layla is your baby. If you had a human baby you would want your boyfriend to accept her or he be on his way. You can't make someone love your dog but he shouldn't be cruel to her either. I hope that your relationship works out with this guy, if not Layla will be the one comforting you when it is over.

You need to come to some happy medium, like most said I do to think that he is jealous of this little dog. Some men are stupid, love comes in different forms and there is plenty to go around. Lindsey you have to step up to the plate, compromise but don't let it come to me or the dog...

[Lindsey]

Thanks Gina. I know if he ever made me choose between him or the dog, Layla would win hands down. He knows that, and he said he would never ask me to get rid of her because he knows how happy she makes me.
This weekend I am going back home for the first time since Christmas. My parents won't be around (and Kyle's not ready to meet them yet anyway!) Anyways... I asked my new roommate if she would mind if I left Layla at home for the weekend. Kyle and I will get a whole weekend to ourselves and maybe we can just go out to the lake and get away from all the stress and just have a regular talk without yelling or getting frustrated. I guess I'll see how this weekend goes and then decide if there's any future for us...

[judy]

Lindsey,

When I was divorced the first time, my daughter was 7 months old. We were a package deal, of course. There were no concessions to be made because she absolutely came first, being such a young child.

It taught me a lot. The most important thing I learned was that there is no right or wrong, and the reasons don't really matter. What matters is if it the relationship works easily.

The other thing I learned was that if my needs weren't being met - in this case - around my daughter, then I wasn't happy. My needs became very important to me
because I deserve to be happy. I'm not talking about a Paris Hilton kind of lala land where every need is met, but some things are just basic.

I met my second (ex) husband and he fell right in about my daughter, who he loved in the same way I did. We've been divorced for about 10 years now, and he's still my daughter's "father." They're so close. So, not only my needs were met, so were his, and so were my daughter's.

Good luck with your boyfriend. I hope it works out well.

Judy

[Tink]

I agree with Judy.
If someone isn't making your life happier by being in it, you need to ask yourself WHY you want them. If you can adjust to putting Layla second, fine. If you can't, then you need to find someone who won't expect you to.

The only right or wrong about it is how YOU feel about it.

[Lindsey]

Well, I think things are looking up. Kyle and I spent the whole weekend together with no distractions.. no friends, no Layla, nobody. I took him back to my hometown and showed him where I grew up, where I worked, where I went to school... On Saturday we went out to my cabin and spent the whole day laying on the beach and then made supper together and cuddled and watched tv because we were both too lazy to make a fire and sit outside! We had a great time. I smiled all weekend. I've opened up to him so much, we were even belting out oldies in the car! I never ever sing in front of anyone, not even my friends!
Yesterday I came home and Layla was so happy to see me. My roommate and I went out shopping because she needed some fish food, so I replaced one of Layla's favourite toys that she chewed a hole in, and she hasn't put it down yet! She slept on my bed last night, and woke me up this morning by throwing her new toy off the bed and then chasing after it. I think maybe for now I just need to seperate my time with Kyle and my time with Layla. I guess I'll just see how it goes...

[vainchick5]

Lindsey, my fiance was never an animal person so that always worried me. But things changed when he first met Coco. He instantly fell in love and he loves the new little boy we got together. I never thought he'd want to get another one but he did. But because I made compromises for him along the way because he compromised for me. Coco would sleep in our bed, come out with us, and he'd walk her, feed her, clean up after her when I couldn't. So he put a lot of his feelings aside for me and Coco so when Rocco came we made new compromises together. They now sleep together instead of with us, which is comfortable for all involved. The pups dont care, we're not squished so it works out. We also gate them up to eat their own food when we're eating lunch or dinner, because they were constantly jumping all over us during meal time. So my point is you may not find someone who is also a HUGE dog lover, but you make compromises along the way for each other. But the compromise is not a one way street. You can bet your booty that if my fiance wasn't as giving I wouldn't be either and vice versa. So there's nothing wrong with compromising as long as it's fair and on both ends. Yes as much as we would like to deny it, men do often get jealous of the attention and amount of time we give our little ones, if we're not giving nearly as much to them, which is fair. So be sure to have Lindsey and Kyle time along together and then Lindsey, Kyle and Layla time. We spend a lot of time walking with our dogs and playing in the park and at home, that way we don't feel as bad when him and I just wanna go out just the two of us.

[Lindsey]

Last night Kyle spent the night at my house again. He was sitting on my bed and Layla was right beside him trying to play with him, her little tail was just wagging away! He ignored her. I guess it's better than trying to make her not like him. Then he was like "Will you be happy if I pet it?" She has all of a sudden turned into an "it" to him. I said yes, so he petted her for awhile. When he stopped petting her she came back for more, but he was getting a little frustrated at her so I gently picked her up and petted her for a bit, and then put her on the floor so we could have some cuddle time. She slept right beside my bed all night, and the couple of times she jumped up on the bed, I just picked her up and put her back on the floor. I think he appreciated it, and she didn't seem to make a big deal of it either. When he's not there I'll let her sleep with me, and maybe she'll start to learn when she can and can't sleep on the bed.
Kyle also told me that he would love to get a house with a big fenced yard and have a big dog, and he was like "If we end up together and I have a big dog and you have a little dog, I don't want them to just have completely different rules when they're inside." And I guess I understand that, but that would be forever away from now! I also think that when I buy my own house I would love to get Layla a little brother or sister that she could spend time with and not be so lonely all day! I think it's mostly the guilt of me being at work all day and leaving her there that makes me want to give her so much attention when I'm home with her.

[judy]

Dear Lindsey,

I hope I'm wrong, but I'm beginning to see a red flag here.

You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman. Don't sell yourself short.

Judy

[Lindsey]

Dear Lindsey,

I hope I'm wrong, but I'm beginning to see a red flag here.

You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman. Don't sell yourself short.

Judy

Yeah. I think I already know. I feel like I just want to deny it and hope for the best for a little while longer :(

[judy]

Absolutely keep trying until you're sure! You never know what will really happen.

I'm behind you:cool:

[Lindsey]

One more big blow-up last night. She sat on my lap for a couple minutes and he snatched her up and put her out of my room and slammed the door. I asked what was going on because she wasn't doing anything, and he said "She was making me mad. She was sitting there staring at me" So I guess it really is just anything now... we fought for hours and he kept saying "Is there even a point? Is this going to work out" and I told him "I'm not forcing you to stay here, or to stay with me. If you can't handle this, you can leave, and you don't have to be with me." and he turned it around and said "Is that what you really want? You want to just break up with me over a dog?" eventually we just both got tired of fighting and crying and he cracked a smile and told me he's sorry and i'm beautiful. This morning he left my house all happy, but I can't stop thinking about it. I just sent him this email:

Hi. Well I really don't know what to say here. I'm not trying to be grumpy and I'm not mad. I've just been thinking about last night. I wouldn't have gotten into this relationship at all if I thought it wouldn't work. I don't put a friendship at risk unless I really really like someone. I didn't see this coming, all the fighting. It just came up out of nowhere. Why did you get involved if you knew this all before? You and Ryden had talks about my dog, you've told me that. You knew the situation before you got into it. You even said it just kept building up over the whole time, so why didn't you just stop when it started bothering you? Is she really the whole problem here?
If you're already thinking that this isn't going to work and it's not worth working on, then let me know. I do really like you and I want to be with you, but sometimes I don't want to deal with all the frustration I feel from fighting over and over about the same thing. I don't think we've gone a week since we've been dating that you haven't asked me if I'm dumping you yet. I just don't feel like you have much faith in us.
I'm not going to break up with you. You can let your little wall down, and just accept me and accept being with me. And if not, then you can take the next step. I don't want to keep rollercoastering like we have been.
I guess that's about all...
-Lindsey

:(

[Gina]

Lindsey, I am by far no expert, but I am a mature older woman. I think he is grasping at straws here. My husband is no animal lover but my daughter brought Gucci home 3 yrs ago. He has fallen in love with her, he doesnt kiss her but he shows his love in other ways.

I do believe your dog is not the issue here, he is using her as. He seems to be picking at fights with you for no apparent reason. Like Judy has mention earlier your a beautiful young intelligent girl. Do you really need this drama in your life? I personally think that you should move on. Don't settle, not at your age. Have the men chasing you. You deserve better than that. I have a 20 yr.old daughter and this is what I would be telling my daughter if it were her... Good luck sweetie.

[AngieDoogles]

He seems to be picking at fights with you for no apparent reason.

I agree Gina. Lindsey, you need to do what is best for you. You don't want to end up in a long term relationship where there are fights like this all the time. You deserve better. Good luck girl!

[Shada]

I can see so much of myself in your posts about this guy...

This was a few years back, but I was seeing somebody, who said all the right things, did all the right things, THEN, when he thought he had ME in control, started in on the dogs..I had two dogs, (still have them, but he is gone!!)

He at the beginning, 'loved my dogs', then he changed to a person who did not want to be bothered, my dogs were constantly yelled at, not allowed off their beds, when he was around, he continually spoke to them harshly, 'lay down, get on your bed, get out of the kitchen, stay out of the bedroom".. it got BAD, I let it go for awhile thinking he would change, the only thing that changed was my dogs attitude when he was around. They turned into fearful creatures that were scared to make a move whe he was around.

Truthfully, when he was here, they were scared to move off their beds. Within 1 minute of his leaving, they were once again happy dogs. They apparently were terrified of him!! We got into many fights, disagreements, over the way he treated my dogs. My dogs are not wild unmanageable creatures. As I am sure yours is not.

Main thing I am trying to say here is:
This is a control issue. Do not let him control how you live with your dog. If he wins this battle, there will be another.. then another.. till he has total say about your every move or thought.

I got rid of that idiot. I want someone who can, and will accept me as I am, to accept the pets I have, if they can't, then goodbye.
They were here before any man, and when I took them into my home, I promised them a life with me, a life where I could give them the loyalty they give to me.

I am a package deal. Love me, love my dogs.

Lets say you let him win the dog battle, you then have a happy man who controls you, and a dog who is terrifed and can't understand...

What is the next battle??

[judy]

Lindsey,

Maybe it's time to start focusing on something else . He's just not....whatever.

So, what kind of tattoo do you want to get? I have some good websites and you have the one you designed. Maybe you can get TWO!!!!

:hearts6:

Judy

PS Sorry sweetie, but I think "And the truth shall set you free."

[Lindsey]

Hey everyone. I thought last night was going to be IT. He was very blunt in his emails and said he wants to talk about it in person, so he called me after work and we decided to go for supper. So we went to the restaurant and were sitting out on the patio all alone and he asked what I wanted to talk about. I basically said, I like him, and I would like the relationship to work out, but it's absolutely not going to if he keeps being so stubborn. I'm not going to do whatever he wants me to do, and if that's how he thinks, I'm not gonna stick around. I said the only thing we fight about is Layla, and if he's not willing to just let that go and COMPROMISE with me, it won't work because Layla's always going to be there. He said he would try.
We went for a walk down by the river for a couple of hours and were both happy. When we got home and Layla came into my room I asked him if he wanted me to put her out and he said "No, don't worry about it" When she jumped on the bed he petted her. This morning when she noticed we were awake she ran and jumped on my bed... but she jumped right onto my pillow. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow but didn't say a word, and I told her no, and lifted her off.
I am happy and a little surprised that he actually is making an effort now. I don't know how long it's going to last. I hope my talk with him gave him a little insight into how serious this is to me.
And if things go back to the way they were before, he had his chance. It will be done.

P.S. Judy - I think I'll have to get the tattoo I designed, and then let enough time go by to forget how much it hurts, and THEN maybe get another :)

[Ponyup]

Okay, I haven't responded yet because i've been thinking about this. I feel there are 2 possibilities here. 1. he is a control freak & wants things his way at all times. In my opinion you shouldn't be up with that. It's your dog in your house & you should be able to let her act however, you want her to act. If you both agree her behaviour is annoying then you can do steps to remedy that. However, if you like her on your bed & like her cuddling with you then you should be able to allow your dog to do those things in your house. Im sure you don't go to his house & tell him to put the toilet seat down or pick up his underwear.

2. He might be insecure & afraid of getting hurt. Do you know his dating history? I tried to do this. When someone would start to get close to me I would pick fights to push them away because I had been hurt really bad. When I tried this with my husband (before we were married) he flat out said, don't try that shit with me I'm not going anywhere. If this is his issue then try & put his mind at ease that you aren't going anywhere.

However, from what you have told us I believe it is the other thing. He is old school big dog. Dogs shouldn't be on beds, in your lap, giving face kisses, ect ect ect. This is your dog & your house & you can treat it as you like & you shouldn't apologize for that. If a guy truely likes you he will accept things like this because they make you happy. Since he doesn't seem to be accepting I would let this one go & wait for someone you & your dog can be yourselfs around.

[Lindsey]

Well, I've been thinking for awhile that it might be number 2... I know he has had long relationships in the past, and then he didn't date at all for about a year. His last two relationships happened while I was friends with him and both lasted for only about a month. They just fought all the time. Right after we started dating I was talking to a friend on facebook about dating and she said she just can't stick with one guy for long, and I said something like "I know... I usually get bored easily, but right now things are going great with Kyle because we actually do things and don't just sit around every day. I'm not bored at all!" anyways.. I guess he read that and is paranoid that I'm getting bored of him. He always asks me if I'm dumping him, or if I'm bored of him yet. He's scared I'm just gonna all of a sudden decide he's not fun anymore and just leave him.

[Lindsey]

Oh, and I DO understand where he's coming from with her behavior being annoying... It's not so much a problem to me anymore because I've had her for a year and a half and I'm used to it. I babied her a lot when she was a puppy and she does want my attention all the time. I'm used to giving it to her. When I first got her it was difficult for me too. I wasn't used to a dog in my bed, on my couch, sleeping on my feet. She's just ALWAYS there. I understand that it bothers him. His dogs aren't even allowed in his room. I guess it's just our different views on animals... for him they're animals. For me they're little furry people with love and feelings. I don't know if this is going to work out long-term. I just know that right now I don't want to let it go when there's a little part of me that still thinks if we both make some comprimises, we will be okay.