View Full Version : I need your help
blowry
08-12-2007, 05:15 AM
Hi Girls! Haven't been on in a while. I certainly could use your help right about now. I have been searching the web for an Alanon forum. I left one abuser and married another:( . Does anyone here know of a good forum I could sign up for? I have checked a couple out but couldn't post on them. I wish it were as easy and YT and WT!
Thank you so much girls
Brenda
goofywife
08-12-2007, 05:57 AM
I don't know of any, but I will keep you in my prayers.
blowry
08-12-2007, 07:28 AM
I don't know of any, but I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you Michelle...I can use them right now.
Sorry you're in that spot. I have nothing to offer in the way of suggestions, but hope it works out well for you.
AngieDoogles
08-13-2007, 01:35 PM
I'm so sorry about your situation Brenda. I did a quick Google search and found this site (http://www.ola-is.org/). Hope it helps. *hugs*
Can you go to meetings in person? My daughter's husband is an alcoholic and I went for 2 years. I met the most wonderful people there and got a lot out of it.
I'm not saying internet meetings aren't just as good. I never did one. I don't think they had them at that time. Either way, it's just a great step to take and I really want to validate you for it.
Forgivenmom5
08-14-2007, 10:05 AM
been in that situation Brenda. Hope things work out for you.
blowry
08-14-2007, 05:36 PM
I'm so sorry about your situation Brenda. I did a quick Google search and found this site (http://www.ola-is.org/). Hope it helps. *hugs*
Thank you so much for the site Angie and taking the time to search for it...I did sign up on that site but, I couldn't post...I don't know why....I am going to keep searching..
I have put this in GOD'S hands. I know he will help me through this. I just hope it's soon.
Thank you
blowry
08-14-2007, 05:38 PM
Can you go to meetings in person? My daughter's husband is an alcoholic and I went for 2 years. I met the most wonderful people there and got a lot out of it.
I'm not saying internet meetings aren't just as good. I never did one. I don't think they had them at that time. Either way, it's just a great step to take and I really want to validate you for it.
I was actually looking for a forum...kind of like this one. As I had said..this isn't the first time I am going through this..(guess I didn't learn anything from the first time). I am hoping and praying after talking to him over the weekend I got through to him...we'll see
Thank you Judy!
Thank you so much for the site Angie and taking the time to search for it...I did sign up on that site but, I couldn't post...I don't know why....I am going to keep searching..
I have put this in GOD'S hands. I know he will help me through this. I just hope it's soon.
Thank you
Dear Brenda,
If you already put this in God's hands, you're already doing the 12 steps. I think that might be the 1st or 2nd step of the 12.
Don't worry about not posting on the forum. It's a huge commitment - take your time. I didn't talk till around the 5th meeting.
Hi Girls! Haven't been on in a while. I certainly could use your help right about now. I have been searching the web for an Alanon forum. I left one abuser and married another:( . Does anyone here know of a good forum I could sign up for? I have checked a couple out but couldn't post on them. I wish it were as easy and YT and WT!
Thank you so much girls
Brenda
Brenda, if I may say something , you post that you have been in two abusive relationships. I have a friend like yourself in the same situation. She went for therapy alone , The therapist said it is her personality to allow men to treat her this way. She no longer allows men to abuse her.. I hope this helped...Good luck
blowry
08-16-2007, 05:08 PM
been in that situation Brenda. Hope things work out for you.
Thank you Debbie, you would have thought I would have learned from my first marriage (he was an abusive alcoholic too) but, I love eric so much and want him to get help. I will hang in there as long as I can. I am 50 yrs "young" and still have alot of years ahead of me...I want them to be good ones...and with eric but, if the good Lord wants something different for me then he will let me know.
blowry
08-16-2007, 05:17 PM
Brenda, if I may say something , you post that you have been in two abusive relationships. I have a friend like yourself in the same situation. She went for therapy alone , The therapist said it is her personality to allow men to treat her this way. She no longer allows men to abuse her.. I hope this helped...Good luck
I really try not to allow him to treat me with the disrepect that he does when he is drinking. With my first husband it was different...there were 2 children involved. My X really did a number on my head. I too, went for counseling, alone. It did help to make ME see that it wasnt' ME at all...it was HIM who had the problem. I became (I thought) a strong person after I left him. They say that we tend to (divorcee's) gravitate to the same type person that we once had..I believe that is true. Eric was just recently diagnosed bi-polar and having a mood disorder. The meds he's on are helping him (now that the dose is correct) but, drinking while on the meds is NOT a good thing. I believe in my heart that God has a plan for me with eric...Maybe I will be the one to help him with this. Eric was 38 when we got married and it was his first. Being married to someone that has never been married before isn't easy...they are very set in their ways and want the best of both worlds...to be married and live as a single man..(not meaning other woman just coming and going and doing what HE wants WHEN he wants) kind of makes you all wonder how someone can be married to a person like this..I truly love him with all of my heart and he has broken it several times...I just pray he see's what he's doing and stops.
Thank you all for your responses
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