Tink
02-11-2008, 02:36 PM
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
------------------------------------------------
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
-------------------------------------------------
For weeks, a six-year old boy kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed to boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally asked the boy, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you're expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
-------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house Everyone was seated around the table as the food was
being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right
away.
“Johnny wait until we say our prayer.” “I don’t have to,” The boy replied.
“Of course, you do,” his mother insisted. “We say a prayer, before eating,
at our house.”
“That’s our house,” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she
knows how to cook."
-------------------------------------------------
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
------------------------------------------------
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
-------------------------------------------------
For weeks, a six-year old boy kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed to boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally asked the boy, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you're expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
-------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house Everyone was seated around the table as the food was
being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right
away.
“Johnny wait until we say our prayer.” “I don’t have to,” The boy replied.
“Of course, you do,” his mother insisted. “We say a prayer, before eating,
at our house.”
“That’s our house,” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she
knows how to cook."
-------------------------------------------------
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."