Depressed getting old at 64

[donna1990]

I feel like my days are numbered. All I think about is that I will die. I am a Christian, what is going on with me? My husband is 69, he says to me everyday, I don't have much more years to live. We need some inspiration from people our age.

[Gina]

First I want to welcome you to 4wt, I hope that you post here there are wonderful women whom I have come to love and call my friends. Please always feel free to speak..

First of all you are not old and your husband should not make you feel that you both are heading for death..OMG, people are living older these days and are living better thanks to modern medicine and keeping active mentally and phycially. Are you both in good health? You have to start thinking younger and get out there and enjoy life. Don't let it pass you by.

I assume that you are both retired, enjoy going out to dinner, taking up hobbies whether alone or together . Get together with friends , travel if you have the monetary means your still a young couple.. Don't dwell on the numbers it will bring you down. When your husband makes a comment tell him to snap out of it and not to include you in. I don't know if you are grandparents , live for them.. You only get one shot at it....

[Forgivenmom5]

I am a few years younger than you but I am going through cancer treatments. I try not to think about what can happen but enjoy each day. It is hard sometimes but I try to remember the song "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." I really have to make myself do this some days and those days the ladies here are a lot of strength. I am sure they will help you too.

[Janet]

Donna...that makes me so sad you are thinking this way. I do think there are times when we all think about our dying for a fleeting moment, but any longer I don't think is healthy.

For all of us...our days are numbered, it's what you do with those days that will bring you peace of mind and joy.

I wish everyone could meet my mother!! She's 85, not in the greatest of health, but she still drives, still pulls a tag-a-long camper to go camping with a campers group she has belonged to for 40 years. Does everything for herself...does what she wants, when she wants, loves her computer, and will not join the local senior citizens center because according to her....everyone there is too old. LOL.

Start thinking about how wonderful life is and that you have a very long time left. I hope you can do that.

Whenever you get down...just come here. Someone here will lift your spirits. I know they do it for me...every time! :ghug:

[Tink]

Oh Donna, I'm so sorry you're letting this get you down!
You're right that as we age, our time we have left does just grow shorter and shorter with each passing day. Yet we have to decide if we're going to waste what time we have left by worrying about it, or make a special effort to enjoy what we do have so we make the best of it.

We're all born with a death sentence hanging over us. It's a fact of being mortal. I've had a heart attack, my dad and 3 of my grandparents died of heart attacks, so I'd say it's a fairly safe bet that's how I'll go out. I could maybe add a little time to my life if I quit eating the high fat, high calorie foods and quit smoking. I might extend my life by following all of my drs orders, but I am determined that I want to enjoy myself and if I can't, then what's the point?

I think there are a lot worse things than dying. Not living while you still can ranks right up there.

I throw myself into my hobbies. I'm learning to say what I mean whether it's the popular thing or not, and I'm valuing the friendships and time with my loved ones more than I ever have BECAUSE I know how fleeting it all can be. God didn't give us life just so we could spend it worrying. I hope you're able to pull yourself out of this funk and live like you appreciate this gift. We owe it to God to use and be grateful for all that he's given us, and life's a whole lot more fun when we do.

HUGS

[katcarasella]

Donna,
Please perk up, they say 60 is the new 40!!
When I first started out on this site I was super depressed. But ater a few weeks with this group of Ladies, I've turned into the class clown.:rolleyes:
Please listen to their advice and know that it's coming from their hearts.
God sent you here today for a reason, listen to Him!!
I'm talking from experience.
You're in my Prayers.
Sincerely, Kathy

[DianaB]

I agree with what the others have said. I think that there's a place in our lives where we realize that we're getting older but we just have to place our trust in the Lord and let Him worry about when we'll die. My days belong to Him, all of them. It's not up to me to worry about how many I have left because that takes away from how I'm living now. The Bible says many times "Fear not!!" and I take that to mean in every area of my life. Just turn those worries over to God and go out and enjoy today and tomorrow and all the days ahead!!!!

Read Matthew 6:25-34. I like especially what verse 27 says "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

And verse 34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

[goofywife]

Welcome to 4WT!! I also agree with what everyone has said here. A healthy 64 is better than a very sick 20. When I am down, I usually take a walk, look at all of the new flowers getting ready to bloom. Let my dog lick me face!! And watch a babies laugh. (I think there is a good one on You Tube). All those things make me happy. Hopefully they will work for you.

[donna1990]

I am a few years younger than you but I am going through cancer treatments. I try not to think about what can happen but enjoy each day. It is hard sometimes but I try to remember the song "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." I really have to make myself do this some days and those days the ladies here are a lot of strength. I am sure they will help you too.

God bless you, I will be praying for you. You have a lot of strength and faith.

[donna1990]

I thank you all so much, should not feel sorry for myself. My husband battled prostate cancer but is cancer free now, retired but has a 10 acre hobby farm and he works 12 hours a day. I suffer from fibromyalgia that keeps me in pain all of the time, and fatiqued, so trips are out of the question. No close family members, only 2 grandchildren that we see on birthday's and Christmas.
BUT, I have my yorkie that brightens my life with her love and kisses. I have so much to be thankful for.
I do keep in touch with many old friends and family by email.
Thanks again for your support.
Donna:thumbup:

[janc]

I am a few years younger than you but I am going through cancer treatments. I try not to think about what can happen but enjoy each day. It is hard sometimes but I try to remember the song "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." I really have to make myself do this some days and those days the ladies here are a lot of strength. I am sure they will help you too.
I think about that same phrase just about every day when I'm walking my Yorkies. I too had cancer at 53 and am 60 now. I am so busy each day doing what I like to do (crochet, yard work, animals (birds and Yorkies), reading, etc. that I really enjoy each day. I have met lots of people since we moved here and we have a very busy social schedule. If your husband wants to wallow in misery let him. You can't change him but you can take charge of your own life. Remember, life is what you make it!

[janc]

Donna...that makes me so sad you are thinking this way. I do think there are times when we all think about our dying for a fleeting moment, but any longer I don't think is healthy.

For all of us...our days are numbered, it's what you do with those days that will bring you peace of mind and joy.

I wish everyone could meet my mother!! She's 85, not in the greatest of health, but she still drives, still pulls a tag-a-long camper to go camping with a campers group she has belonged to for 40 years. Does everything for herself...does what she wants, when she wants, loves her computer, and will not join the local senior citizens center because according to her....everyone there is too old. LOL.

Start thinking about how wonderful life is and that you have a very long time left. I hope you can do that.

Whenever you get down...just come here. Someone here will lift your spirits. I know they do it for me...every time! :ghug:
Janet,
Your mother rocks!! I would like to emulate her!

[janc]

Oh Donna, I'm so sorry you're letting this get you down!
You're right that as we age, our time we have left does just grow shorter and shorter with each passing day. Yet we have to decide if we're going to waste what time we have left by worrying about it, or make a special effort to enjoy what we do have so we make the best of it.

We're all born with a death sentence hanging over us. It's a fact of being mortal. I've had a heart attack, my dad and 3 of my grandparents died of heart attacks, so I'd say it's a fairly safe bet that's how I'll go out. I could maybe add a little time to my life if I quit eating the high fat, high calorie foods and quit smoking. I might extend my life by following all of my drs orders, but I am determined that I want to enjoy myself and if I can't, then what's the point?

I think there are a lot worse things than dying. Not living while you still can ranks right up there.

I throw myself into my hobbies. I'm learning to say what I mean whether it's the popular thing or not, and I'm valuing the friendships and time with my loved ones more than I ever have BECAUSE I know how fleeting it all can be. God didn't give us life just so we could spend it worrying. I hope you're able to pull yourself out of this funk and live like you appreciate this gift. We owe it to God to use and be grateful for all that he's given us, and life's a whole lot more fun when we do.

HUGS
You know, Tink, I feel the same way. I did all the right things- exercised every day, ate only healthy food, didn't drink alcohol, etc. The first thing I thought about when I found out I had cancer was - the ice cream I hadn't eaten in years. I went right out and bought 2 Ben and Jerry's and ate them. Of course, I was sick because I'm lactose intolerent.!!! From that moment on I decided I would do what I wanted. I drink wine occasionally, eat ice cream all the time (Yogurt once a day keeps my stomach in good shape), and I do still exercise but if I miss a day or 3 that's ok too. Life is mostly good!

[Tink]

Donna, we're all entitled to have a pity party for ourselves occasionally. It's just when we get in that rut and can't pull back out that we're wasting our time. No one deserves to be miserable, and unless we decide to enjoy life, it's not going to happen. We'd love to have you join the rest of us middle agers in being silly and friends and support for each other. It's amazing how much fun it can be just to talk with these wonderful ladies. I know they've lifted me out of several slumps.

[Janet]

Donna, we're all entitled to have a pity party for ourselves occasionally. It's just when we get in that rut and can't pull back out that we're wasting our time. No one deserves to be miserable, and unless we decide to enjoy life, it's not going to happen. We'd love to have you join the rest of us middle agers in being silly and friends and support for each other. It's amazing how much fun it can be just to talk with these wonderful ladies. I know they've lifted me out of several slumps.


Because we love you silly!!!

Donna, you just come here...we'll love ya so much you won't think about it anymore...:)

[Janet]

Janet,
Your mother rocks!! I would like to emulate her!

She sure does!! I hope I can do all that she does at that age.

[pope1982]

Just be thankful with the things you have experienced and look forward to the things you have yet to ;)

Never forget how blessed and fortunate you are. Find a new hobby that reminds you what it feels like to be alive again. I love yoga! It's great for your mind and circulation :thumbup:

[Janet]

I don't know much about Yoga, but I do have this one tape of an Asian man (can't remember his name.) It did make be feel more relaxed and clear headed. I really need to start doing that again, it's been too long for sure.

[pearl]

fibromyalgia is really rough. many times it's not well understood either. you sound quite depressed. are you on antidepressants?
at times all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and get through 15 minutes at a time. i believe thinking positive can help health. ignore the negative thoughts, exercise as much as you are able, get in sunshine, turn on music you like, think positive thoughts no matter how much the effort.
believing your days are numbered can make it happen.
i remember a book by norman cousins called "anatomy of an illness." he got past a spinal illness by watching marx brothers movies, comedies, laughing; all positive. it worked.

[Forgivenmom5]

I have a friend who has fibromyalgia. I know she is in a lot of pain most of the time. I know that has to be hard but God will get you through. Come here anytime and we will all help as much as we can too.

[donna1990]

fibromyalgia is really rough. many times it's not well understood either. you sound quite depressed. are you on antidepressants?
at times all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and get through 15 minutes at a time. i believe thinking positive can help health. ignore the negative thoughts, exercise as much as you are able, get in sunshine, turn on music you like, think positive thoughts no matter how much the effort.
believing your days are numbered can make it happen.
i remember a book by norman cousins called "anatomy of an illness." he got past a spinal illness by watching marx brothers movies, comedies, laughing; all positive. it worked.

I have been on an antidepressants for many years. They think it helps with the pain. But I am depressed. I appreciate all of you trying to help me FIX ME!!
This is hard for me to say, but since my husband had cancer, he is impotent and I miss the closeness that we shared. Just feel lost.

[Tink]

Donna,

Not to get too graphic, but just because you can't push a chain doesn't mean you can't still move the car! There are so many other ways to be intimate with your partner, and he would probably enjoy exploring those as much as you would. I would imagine that might be part of his depression as well.

[pearl]

I have been on an antidepressants for many years. They think it helps with the pain. But I am depressed. I appreciate all of you trying to help me FIX ME!!
This is hard for me to say, but since my husband had cancer, he is impotent and I miss the closeness that we shared. Just feel lost.

well, not to get too graphic either, but i was in a rrelationship with a man for a year and a half who needed the ol' viagra. and it didn't always work. so, from experience i can tell you there are a lot of other ways that work well. and, personally i LOVE just kissing. so, have fun!

[Janet]

Tink...I was feeling bad that I didn't know what to say to help Donna feel better, then I read your post. What a very simple, yet comforting suggestion.

I hope there is someway you can take Tink's advice and make it work for you and your husband.

[Brooke]

Hi there... I am a christian also. i listen to christian radio and I heard a speaker not long ago tell the story in the bible about how Jesus turned the water into wine.

Some one came up to Jesus and said most people bring the best wine out first but you have saved the best for last!

The speaker went on to say that the Lord works on our lives, molds and shapes us, and saves the best for last. You are being molded and shaped all the time. You have been through many things and you are wiser now.
I will pray for you to be used for Gods glory... I'm sure you have much to offer. You are going through some tough times but those tough times bring you closer to the Lord and help shape you. God is never done with you. hang in there and seek the Lord. Your joy is there.

Music is a natural high... find some uplifting music and put it on.

[Dobie]

Brooke - the way you described our Lord as molding us for better things to come really touched my heart. What encouraging advice to give to anyone who is experiencing a difficult time.

[Marilyn]

Donna, you've been given lots of encouragement here. All I can say is AMEN!! and wish you the best.

Have you thought about making soap??? I've been toying with the idea and it looks more interesting than it sounds. There is lots of information on the web. Just a thought.....:hug:

[donna1990]

I appreciate all of you and the help that you are giving me. We cuddle in bed every night. I love him.

[Tink]

Donna, that the way it should be. Sad that so few can say that... what a blessing. With that kind of love between you I know you'll find a way.

[pearl]

i'm 54 years old. to cuddle up and snuggle...it feels soooo very close.

[donna1990]

I don't know much about Yoga, but I do have this one tape of an Asian man (can't remember his name.) It did make be feel more relaxed and clear headed. I really need to start doing that again, it's been too long for sure.

Was it Tia Chia? not sure of the spelling, I tried it but it was too slow for me then, several years ago, maybe I should try it again.

[katcarasella]

I appreciate all of you and the help that you are giving me. We cuddle in bed every night. I love him.
Donna,
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, My husband was only ill for 9 months when I lost him. We cuddled every night too, even that last night and I'm so grateful for those memories.
PM me if you ever need to talk.
:hug:

[donna1990]

Donna,
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, My husband was only ill for 9 months when I lost him. We cuddled every night too, even that last night and I'm so grateful for those memories.
PM me if you ever need to talk.
:hug:

Looked at your picture, he surely looked like a fun loving guy. So sorry, what happened to him? When my husband went through his cancer treatments he was not physically sick but he was a ragging maniac, horrible temper, due to hormones. I had to walk on egg shells, it was awful, but worth it to see him so healthy again.
Thanks Kat,
Donna

[katcarasella]

How is your hubby feeling now? Is he able to get out?
Do you have any children, grandchildren, or pets. :)

My husband had developed a rare disease, probably due to being sprayed with agent orange while he served in Vietnam. He had his great sense of humor until the end. I was truly blessed.
This is the link to his guest book if you'd like to see it.
http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4167

[donna1990]

How is your hubby feeling now? Is he able to get out?
Do you have any children, grandchildren, or pets. :)

My husband had developed a rare disease, probably due to being sprayed with agent orange while he served in Vietnam. He had his great sense of humor until the end. I was truly blessed.
This is the link to his guest book if you'd like to see it.
http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4167

I saw his guest book, made me cry, am familiar with agent orange. He served our Country as my Father did, he was killed in WW2 at the age of 21, I was 9 months old.
My husband feels great at the age of, "almost 69", we have 35 rental properties, he has a 10 acre farm, buys and sells animals, he is suppose to be retired.. He works from 8 in the morning until he gets home, never know, it could be 10PM. He has hired people to help but never knows if 1 or 6 will show up, 7 days a week. We also have a big home, with a pool, ect. He does not have much time to take care of this, I try, but is getting a little too much for me. I do have a Yorkie that we both love so much.
Have 4 son's between the 2 of us, his are in MN and mine are in Fl. where we live. They are 38 to 40 years old, never married, have two grandaughters. Never see them except on birthdays, Christmas, or "Mom, I need to borrow money' I have to go and backwash the pool, we have had so much rain.
Take care of yourself and you can PM me anytime.
Donna:

[katcarasella]

Wow, sounds like you have a busy life down there in the Sunshine.
I'lm so glad he's able to work, not being able to work really bothered my hubby.
I'm sorry you don't see your family more, I sometimes wish I didn't see mine as much as I do.:eek: Did I say that out loud. :sidesplit: I'm just kidding!!
Donna, it was a pleasure chatting with you, and glad you're a 4WT gal.
Kat