Body Image Flaws And Your Hubby.

[rivermom]

Does your hubby ever point out some of your body flaws? Like maybe a poochy tummy, small breasts cuz he'd like to see them bigger, etc??

My husband's pretty good but once in awhile he taps my belly and says "oh it's sooo cute". :mad: I just give him that "look" and he stops.

My girlfriend told me that her hubby said "If you lose 30 lbs, I'll take you to the beach." :eek: I thought how rude!!! I told her if she gained 30 lbs Id take her to the river, LOL.

She's so beautiful and if she lost 30 lbs she'd be less than 100 lbs and sick looking. I just don't understand some men obsessed w/ their womens body image.

[Mandy]

Only thing my husband jokes about is my boobs, he reckons i stood last inline lol... he calls them he's mini boobies.
He's never ever rude, and is always giving me compliments.

[Tink]

My hubby has NEVER made any negative comments about my appearance. I guess he values his life. ;) Seriously, there's not ONE among us who is perfect, and that includes those men who want a trophy to wear on their arm. I can't imagine wanting to open THAT can of worms!

My best friend is a tiny lady who has always had to watch her weight because every pound shows. Her first hubby was a total pain about it. I wanted to smack him many times due to the stupid comments he'd make to/about her. They ended up divorced because she learned he'd been having a long term affair with a woman who was at least TWICE her weight! 20+ years later he is still with the larger lady and he has yet to marry her because he said he can't be married to someone her size. To me, this says nothing about the ladies, but volumes about what a total jerk HE is!

[RLC12345678]

Mine doesn't comment about my body image either. Sometimes I complain about it, but he always tells me that I'm beautiful. I would stand to lose 8-10 lbs and I'm sure hubby wouldn't object, but he'd NEVER tell me that I NEED to lose weight. I also have a big ole' booty. My hubby says he likes my booty, but I would stand to shed a few pounds from that big ole' thing. :D He is also a "boob man," if you know what I mean...he likes women with big boobs. Now, I would like a boob job for my personal satisfaction, and I'm sure hubby would enjoy some bigger boobs, but he would NEVER come out and say that I NEED a boob job. Whenever I mention the subject of boob job, he always says I don't need one. :rolleyes: But I'm sure he would like them if I got them! :p :p :p

[hle_625]

My husband never says anything about my body image. He knows I would slap him! LOL! But sometimes I really do wish he would give me his honest opinion when I ask him how I look bc he always just says, you look great now hurry up!

[RLC12345678]

My husband never says anything about my body image. He knows I would slap him! LOL! But sometimes I really do wish he would give me his honest opinion when I ask him how I look bc he always just says, you look great now hurry up!

OMG! This is EXACTLY what my hubby does, too!!!!!!! I could be wearing a bathrobe and hubby would say I look great and to just hurry up so we can leave. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Janet]

Right after we were married I was laid of from my job and I put on a bunch of weight and my hubby told a friend of his he thought of divorce because I gained so much. Well I wish he would have sought divorce, but anyway.. I did lose and got back to my original weight and from there on kept gaining.

I want to lose now because I want to for me..not for him. He's really skinny and looks awful. I should give him pay back, but I'm not like that and wouldn't hurt anyone feelings on purpose...

[Tink]

If I ask hubby how an outfit looks on me, he will be perfectly honest. He's told me when something doesn't look right or isn't flattering. He makes sure to comment on the clothes and NOT my body when he does it though.
He aboslutely hated the leggings with the big shirts ... those actually got him to comment without my asking him. But he didn't like that look on ANYONE, so it wasn't like he was attacking me personally.

[Gina]

Ladies we are all beautiful in our own way..... If Christie Brinkley's husband can cheat on her.. OMG! Who is more beautiful than her... It comes to show that no man is 100 percent and I think you have to be happy with yourself regardless of what shape you are in.. My husband never complains about me , but I never complain to him about putting on a few pds. Hell .. He is not perfect so who is he to critize me.. Just my thoughts...

[RLC12345678]

Ladies we are all beautiful in our own way..... If Christie Brinkley's husband can cheat on her.. OMG! Who is more beautiful than her... It comes to show that no man is 100 percent and I think you have to be happy with yourself regardless of what shape you are in.. My husband never complains about me , but I never complain to him about putting on a few pds. Hell .. He is not perfect so who is he to critize me.. Just my thoughts...


I agree 100%. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

[Kimberley]

My husband has never and would never say anything negative about how I look. He is pretty sensitive to my feelings and he knows that when I cry, either I've been watching a sad movie or I'm pretty pissed.

[Mandy78]

My hubby has never said anything negative about me. Even now since I have put on about 30 lbs since we got married...grrrrr.....But we are both excerising together now and cooking healthier and all that good stuff. There are times when I look in the mirror and I can't the way I look, and he can tell I am upset about it. But he always comes over and kisses me and say I am beautiful no matter what!! And that he loves me!!!! He has alway been soo supportive of me and loves me thru thick and thin! LOL!

[RLC12345678]

My hubby has never said anything negative about me. Even now since I have put on about 30 lbs since we got married...grrrrr.....But we are both excerising together now and cooking healthier and all that good stuff. There are times when I look in the mirror and I can't the way I look, and he can tell I am upset about it. But he always comes over and kisses me and say I am beautiful no matter what!! And that he loves me!!!! He has alway been soo supportive of me and loves me thru thick and thin! LOL!

Love the use of the pun! My hubby loves me thru thick and thin, too. :p :p :p My hubby and I have definately gained weight since we got married a year ago. You know how they call it the "Freshman Fifteen"? Well I believed I gained the "Newlywed Nine"!!!!! But we have started working out together and eating more healthy. Hopefully I can unload some of this "junk in the trunk" before too long. :rolleyes:

[Janet]

When I first saw this thread, I thought it was about our husbands flaws...and I was so excited...LMAO!!, so since it isn't I'm gonna start one:

[rivermom]

When I first saw this thread, I thought it was about our husbands flaws...and I was so excited...LMAO!!, so since it isn't I'm gonna start one:


OMG!! LMAO!!! :D

[Janet]

Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! :D Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!!

[Amber_lv]

My hubby is really good about this he doesn't say anything rude to me.

[sashajade]

my other half never says anything bad about me, he thinks everythings cute lol even down to my poo lol:D

[sashajade]

Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! :D Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!! hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better :) if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.

[Janet]

hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better :) if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone. :)

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again. :thumbup:

[rivermom]

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone. :)

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again. :thumbup:


I think at times it's so easy for others looking in to say this or that. Only YOU know what you want and what you are satisified with. Janet, you know your life and what you expect out of it. I can respect that. I admit, I too have sat back and thought to myself "gosh, why does Janet tolerate some of the things she does in her marriage?". But I don't live in your shoes.

It's just like a dear friend of mine. She is in a marriage with a man who does nothing but cheat on her...A LOT!! She decides to stay in the marriage for so many reasons. (not financial ones either) I always tell her it's not my place to tell her what she should and shouldn't do, it's her life. All I tell her is I want her to be happy and satisified with her life and her choices. Isn't that what we all want for our ownselves?

My own life I live 99% of the ladies on here would not agree with. But I've made choices for my ownself that I have found peace with. I've made many sacrafices in my life but had to set my priorites as to what was most important. Not saying I don't have regrets...But i did what I felt was best. We all do that.

Life is not perfect, we just do the best we can.

[Janet]

Exactly Sheryl!!! My marriage isn't horrible, it is just that some wouldn't put up with what I have put up with. But then again, maybe no one would want to put up with me either. I'm a perfectionist and that can be a rough life for a mate. Never being able to measure up. That's okay. We all have our limitations.

My first reason for marrying was to get out of my parents house at age 19. Secondly I did love him very much. But in my opinion now....I was still a kid. I really think there should be a law that at age 25 you can marry....LOL

As time went on I found other things I loved about him, great provider, very nice to all my friends...very supportive and a host of other things. The things that drove me away alot, is the everyday things..helping out around the house, fixing things when they need fixed, not waiting until it costs double to get it done, not really caring if he lived in a dump or the nice clean house I keep. Hoarding money for himself, while I would have to put things in lay-away. After all these years, no matter how much discussion was held, these things haven't changed. He always understood and changed for a week or so, but then back to what he did before. When you look at how his family was growing up... it's what he learned. Am I miserable...no, do I want to start over....no. I have other things in my life now, I've grown up since that 19 year old got married. I also, put money back (he doesn't know). You see, I'm not that naive little girl anymore and learned that we can make our own happiness, no one does that for you.

Yes, I still care about him, in love...no, not so much. But who's to say those feelings won't return. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, all those vows were taken before God and they mean something. I may complain, he may too for that matter, but we're still here, together, still a very good family. It's not so bad, but who's life would I trade it for?? No one that I know of is perfect. And who really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even the ones we think are perfect, aren't....no matter what they try to lead us to believe.

[jane]

I'm not married yet so I can't exactly contribute to this, but I do have a story. lol I was dating this guy for about 3 years and somewhere in those 3 years he told me I was chubby and told me that I should lose some weight. :eek: I was about 145lbs at the time...that's not over weight OR chubby when you are 5'7. I didn't look chubby, I just ate a lot. I have a high metabolism. Things kinda got rough about that time and a while later we had broken up. I'll never be with someone that says stuff like that. It really hurt my self esteem and it took a while to get over. The current guy I'm dating would never say anything like that. When he heard that story he actually got mad about it. *sigh* i learned my lesson about dating jerks.

[Tiger Lily]

my fiance & I call eachother all kinds of names like chubby butt, fatso & even reply to eachothers statements with things like "so, at least I'm not as fat as you" or "so, at least my butt doesn't weigh 100 pounds like yours". But its all in good fun! We honestly eat lunch & dinner together everyday so if I pig out, so does he so to speak. Plus, we work out together. Neither of us is skinny or fat....just right in between. Now, if I ever thought he really meant it....I'd beat him up!

[sashajade]

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone. :)

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again. :thumbup:
im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.

[Janet]

im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.


No, No, No, I wasn't upset at all. I think it's great that so many young women, early on will stand up for themselves and not put up with it. I got my backbone later on in the marriage, it's all okay. I'm still a very happy person for the most part. But who's happy all the time? I welcome anyones opinion anytime, so don't ever think I get upset about something like that.

Now if you were a mean woman with a brat of a son that rode my bus...that's another story.....LOLOLOL

[Mandy]

Exactly Sheryl!!! My marriage isn't horrible, it is just that some wouldn't put up with what I have put up with. But then again, maybe no one would want to put up with me either. I'm a perfectionist and that can be a rough life for a mate. Never being able to measure up. That's okay. We all have our limitations.

My first reason for marrying was to get out of my parents house at age 19. Secondly I did love him very much. But in my opinion now....I was still a kid. I really think there should be a law that at age 25 you can marry....LOL

As time went on I found other things I loved about him, great provider, very nice to all my friends...very supportive and a host of other things. The things that drove me away alot, is the everyday things..helping out around the house, fixing things when they need fixed, not waiting until it costs double to get it done, not really caring if he lived in a dump or the nice clean house I keep. Hoarding money for himself, while I would have to put things in lay-away. After all these years, no matter how much discussion was held, these things haven't changed. He always understood and changed for a week or so, but then back to what he did before. When you look at how his family was growing up... it's what he learned. Am I miserable...no, do I want to start over....no. I have other things in my life now, I've grown up since that 19 year old got married. I also, put money back (he doesn't know). You see, I'm not that naive little girl anymore and learned that we can make our own happiness, no one does that for you.

Yes, I still care about him, in love...no, not so much. But who's to say those feelings won't return. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, all those vows were taken before God and they mean something. I may complain, he may too for that matter, but we're still here, together, still a very good family. It's not so bad, but who's life would I trade it for?? No one that I know of is perfect. And who really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even the ones we think are perfect, aren't....no matter what they try to lead us to believe.



I'm positivly sure you love your hubby, if you didnt you wouldnt be with him anymore.
See, after years of marriage, we don't always have those "butterflies" anymore, but the "inlove" changes to "love" .... every married couple have their ups and downs, now if anyone tells me " they have the perfect marriage" i would either want to take a crash course with them, or i would tell them they talking BS, because no marriage can be absolutly perfect, at times we all disagree with our spouses.

[sashajade]

No, No, No, I wasn't upset at all. I think it's great that so many young women, early on will stand up for themselves and not put up with it. I got my backbone later on in the marriage, it's all okay. I'm still a very happy person for the most part. But who's happy all the time? I welcome anyones opinion anytime, so don't ever think I get upset about something like that.

Now if you were a mean woman with a brat of a son that rode my bus...that's another story.....LOLOLOL im glad i didnt upset you:) lol er nop that wasnt me on the bus:D but if i see her i will give her a kick up the bum for ya lol:D

[Janet]

I'm positivly sure you love your hubby, if you didnt you wouldnt be with him anymore.
See, after years of marriage, we don't always have those "butterflies" anymore, but the "inlove" changes to "love" .... every married couple have their ups and downs, now if anyone tells me " they have the perfect marriage" i would either want to take a crash course with them, or i would tell them they talking BS, because no marriage can be absolutly perfect, at times we all disagree with our spouses.

You are such a sweatheart!!!! :)

[Janet]

im glad i didnt upset you:) lol er nop that wasnt me on the bus:D but if i see her i will give her a kick up the bum for ya lol:D

She's not very tall, so you wouldn't have to kick very high....LOLOL:)

[hunbun]

i think this is my hubby's one flaw. he is pretty ruthlessly truthful about what he thinks of my body and how i look and is constantly concerned that i may have eaten too much and gained weight. it's really annoying when he tells me i look like i've gained weight especially along the stomach, and i just roll my eyes and respond..."uh... having period... retaining water! feeling bloated!" and then follow up with the comment that i'm going to go finish a box of crackers.

i mean, i want his honest opinion, but the delivery can use a bit of tack and reality. i'm in my early 30's now, not in my teens like when we first met. metabolism slows down as i age and that's just being realistic. a size 3 top won't button over c cup boobs without it looking trailerpark trashy. i work fulltime and don't always have the time to go to the gym 6x a week like i used to. ugh... :mad: sorry... just ranting...

[Ponyup]

i think this is my hubby's one flaw. he is pretty ruthlessly truthful about what he thinks of my body and how i look and is constantly concerned that i may have eaten too much and gained weight. it's really annoying when he tells me i look like i've gained weight especially along the stomach, and i just roll my eyes and respond..."uh... having period... retaining water! feeling bloated!" and then follow up with the comment that i'm going to go finish a box of crackers.

i mean, i want his honest opinion, but the delivery can use a bit of tack and reality. i'm in my early 30's now, not in my teens like when we first met. metabolism slows down as i age and that's just being realistic. a size 3 top won't button over c cup boobs without it looking trailerpark trashy. i work fulltime and don't always have the time to go to the gym 6x a week like i used to. ugh... :mad: sorry... just ranting...

Unless he has the perfect body he needs to keep these thoughts to himself.

My hubby won't say anything bad or good for that matter. If I'm unhappy with my body he supports me to change it, but he would never critize or tell me to loss weight. He's put on a couple of pounds himself. No one has the perfect body.

[rivermom]

My hubby compliments me every single day...So, on those days when he smiles and pats my poochy tummy I shall forgive him, LOL.

I know when we met (almost 9 years ago) i had a body that was really great. But, I've since gotten older, happier, and focused on other lifes details. So, my poochy belly isn't that much of a priority these days. :thumbup: (Thank goodness for that too!!)

[hunbun]

well, hubby's working on getting his early 20's body back. he's targeting 130lbs at 5'6" with a 28 inch waist. he's at 136lbs right now and a 29 inch waist. So he's pretty close. he's soooooo look obessessed right now, it's kinda crazy. he's had to get a new wardrobe in the last 6 months and toss out all his 32 waist clothes and get 29's. so he thinks he's doing well and he can't understand why i can experience the same results.

but i think men's metabolism is different from women's metabolism. and people's shape changes too as they age. as women age, our hips become wider, and we gain weight in the torso area more easily because the body is anticipating childbearing. i've read that men's testostrone start to slowly drop off once they hit their late 30's, hence they will start to gain weight, etc. so we'll see....

[Emmsmom]

I went though 36 hours of labor AND a c-section to get this gorgeous body!!! He knows better that to ever say a bad thing about me!!! LOL

[Sherry Lynn]

My hubby is always quick with kind compliment. What endears me the most is how he always comments on when I am smiling and looking contented. It gives HIM the most contented expression to see me happy! And visa-versa!

********
Janet... I just have to comment on 'your portion' of this thread.... I think it's all about compromise and that it's very much a generational thing as to what someone will 'put up' with.

I can see what my Grandmother found tolerable (married until death do us part)... then my mother (50+ years married)... then myself .... and now my newlywed nieces... it's such a wide spectrum! Expectations have changed so much in the favor of women. There is still a long way to go (after all, we only make 75 cents to their dollar!) but I think that women today have more options and expect more!

Also, after being married and really knowing someone for many years it isn't just about compromise, but knowing how to work around things to make them work in your favor. And as women we are very adept at manipulation. ;)

So you don't tell him something to avoid an argument.... or you stash a little cash... or make him believe something is his idea... whatever it takes to get things done the way you want them done. Most women figure it out, and if they're smart they'll accept it and even make a game out of it! We are SO not the weaker sex!!!!!

We're wired differently, and thankfully women usually get it! As long as we have each other to work with and to vent to we can move mountains!

(All that said... you still deserve to meet the 'Big O' one day!!!) ***evil grin here!***