View Full Version : Do I need a reality check?
Jasmine
08-19-2008, 11:03 AM
I don't know if I'm wrong to feel the way I do or not, but, here goes.
My son & his wife had their first baby on Saturday. They are 500 miles from me. We had already made plans to go over there this weekend. Yesterday they were supposed to be discharged from the hospital, but the baby's bellirubin (sp) numbers were a little high so they wanted to keep him until today. Well around 1 this afternoon, I found out that he'd been released about 6 this morning. My son didn't bother to let me know. We always had a good relationship, and I know that mom takes a back seat to his new family, but I don't understand why I didn't at least rate a phone call. My feelings are really, really hurt.
Am I wrong to feel like I do?
(Nice first post, huh? Sorry, but I'm sitting here in tears and no one to talk to.)
Tiramisu
08-19-2008, 11:07 AM
Welcome to the group. I would absolutely feel the same way. I'm sure there are a jillion things happening with your son now, but he could have given you a 30 second call.
BTW, as I've found you'll probably be in the back seat a good bit, but you'll get comfortable with it.
Hang in there.
Janet
08-19-2008, 12:23 PM
I can so understand how you are feeling. I'm trying so hard to remember what I was told when my son didn't even acknowledge this last Mother's Day.
Men/boys are wired so different from females, they just don't get it sometimes. Some do and it's wonderful, but a lot of them don't. He may have just had other things on his mind, like getting child and mother home, getting everything unloaded, doing what the wife says and silently thinking "what the heck have I committed to now?" It's not that you were forgotten, he just saw his life plan in the package of an adorable little baby.
Oh and glad you've joined us!!!
DianaB
08-19-2008, 01:02 PM
I'm sure that it wasn't intentional that you weren't called. Remember what it was like to come home with a new baby.....all the stuff that you had to take care of......and how tired you were? Don't be offended. Be happy that the baby is finally home and everyone is doing well! Give the new Mom at least 2-3 weeks to become comfortable with being a new mom and to heal then go for a visit. A new grandchild....Congratulations!!!!!!!!
Let your DIL know that you're being considerate of how she's feeling. She'll really appreciate that you're concerned for her well being. It's always good to stay on the good side of your DIL!!!!!!!
My daughter's MIL came to visit as soon as she heard about her first new granddaughter. My daughter felt like she hardly got to care for the baby and was bossed around by her MIL. She was very upset.
HALEY
08-26-2008, 10:40 AM
jasmine, i would feel hurt, there is so much to do when you first bring your baby home, both of us were exhausted, every 4 hours waking up feeding, changing diapers, getting bottles ready, running to the store for last min. things, doctor's visits, people coming over to see the baby, you just don't get a break, the time just flies, maybe he was going to call when things settled down a little...
2tiredmom
08-27-2008, 02:55 AM
First off welcome aboard. Second. I know it must be hard. My oldest had her baby here close to me but the next one won't be and i'm not sure the next time i will be called before the event happens. Sometimes they get caught up in the moment. If i could I'd reach out and give you a hug. Keep your chin up and just remember they are the ones that have to get up in the middle of the night with
feedings and walking the floor trying to get the baby back to sleep. Motherhood
isn't it just special.;):welcome::love-hug3:
Happy2BMe
08-28-2008, 12:55 PM
I sure do feel for you. Be patient, he'll call. Probably had a million things on his mind with getting mother and baby situated at home and probably running around buying things when they probably thought they had it all figured out, but you just never know what you overlooked in the preparation.
When you get pics please be sure to post them so we can all see the brand new baby! :)
HALEY
09-02-2008, 10:00 AM
jasmine, i would feel hurt, there is so much to do when you first bring your baby home, both of us were exhausted, every 4 hours waking up feeding, changing diapers, getting bottles ready, running to the store for last min. things, doctor's visits, people coming over to see the baby, you just don't get a break, the time just flies, maybe he was going to call when things settled down a little...
should have spelled checked this, it should read i wouldn't feel hurt !!!! sorry Jasmine....
Hi Jasminie and welcome aboard.. I agree with the others I don' t think you were meant to be slighted. With the baby having to stay and then being released he didn't think to call... How is your relationship with your DIL in general? Her hormones will be out of whack for awhile so don't take things to heart...
Btw Congratulations Grandma! Is he your first grandchild?
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