RLC12345678
10-03-2006, 11:56 AM
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS:
What's for dinner?
SAFER:
Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:
Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
_______________________________
DANGEROUS:
Are you wearing that?
SAFER:
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:
WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine
_________________________________
DANGEROUS:
What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:
Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:
Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
____________________________
DANGEROUS:
Should you be eating that?
SAFER:
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
________________________________________
DANGEROUS:
What did you DO all day?
SAFER:
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:
I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some more wine.
_____________________________________
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!
...Or men who need a warning.
And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!
DANGEROUS:
What's for dinner?
SAFER:
Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:
Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
_______________________________
DANGEROUS:
Are you wearing that?
SAFER:
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:
WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine
_________________________________
DANGEROUS:
What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:
Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:
Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
____________________________
DANGEROUS:
Should you be eating that?
SAFER:
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
________________________________________
DANGEROUS:
What did you DO all day?
SAFER:
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:
I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some more wine.
_____________________________________
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!
...Or men who need a warning.
And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!