The second meeting

[Lindsey]

Well I went to Scott's parents' house this weekend with a positive attitude, hoping for his mom to like me a little more. I was super polite and courteous and I really really tried!
The first night was okay. The only problem was we were going to play cards and Scott was getting us drinks so he told me "Go sit down anywhere" so I went and sat and his dad was like "Oh not that chair!" and then his mom walked in and yelled "Get out of my chair!!!" and then they said that there are two chairs that are off limits because they are hers and his. We played cards and went to bed.
On Saturday they weren't around for most of the day (kind of awkward considering two of their kids were at home, one just flew in... my parents make a big deal to be WITH us when we're home). We went out on Saturday night with friends instead of going to a church play his mom wanted us to go to. But Scott said not to worry, she wouldn't be too upset about it. She kept pushing that we had to go to church with them Sunday morning. I said sure, anything to make her happy.
On Sunday morning we woke up and I got showered and put on dressy clothes and made myself look pretty. I was sitting on the couch waiting for everyone to be ready, and thinking I looked pretty cute. His mom walked out and immediately said she hated my purse because it's "puke green" and then she laughed and turned away. That was totally inappropriate! I told Scott later and he apologized and said she just speaks her mind. We were supposed to find a place in church for all of us to sit, so Scott and I sat down and then she came up later after the pew had filled up with other people and got mad at Scott for not letting her sit with us.
We went home and ate brunch and they offered me more food and I said thanks but I was really full and his dad said "She doesn't like your cooking" and his mom said "Fine, she's never getting any food sent home from me then" and I said "No it's really good!" and she was like "If you don't like it, too bad" or something like just completely ignoring what I said.
Scott was looking around the yard to see if I could bring Layla next time or if she'd get out. His mom asked if it's an inside dog and I said yes, and she asked if she goes to the bathroom outside and I said half the time, but she's also pee-pad trained while I"m at work and she FREAKED and said that's so disgusting why would anyone do that etc... she told me to just start kicking "it" outside and "it'll" learn fast enough. I said I don't have a fenced yard so I'd have to put her on a leash every time and she said "Well you can just leave a leash on it" ... I am never taking my dog there.
She also insulted my small town upbringing by saying she would never raise a kid in a small town because they don't get a good education. I kept my mouth shut.
FINALLY we could leave. I got my luggage from downstairs and we were just saying goodbye when his mom said "Oh that's the kind of luggage you need on a trip!" (it's a tiny suitcase that is lime green and black) and I agreed because it's a nice carry-on size but then she realized I wasn't asking why so she said "It's that ugly green so nobody at the airport would try to steal it" and she laughed and I was flustered and didn't know what to say so Scott immediately was like "What's with your ugly green comments all the time?" and she said "Well I guess it doesn't matter what color it is. It could be pink for all I care. Obviously she likes green so I guess if I buy her a present it will be a green present" ... I thanked her for letting me stay for the weekend and we said goodbye and we left.
I couldn't help crying when we got in the car. Scott asked if it's going to be a deal breaker. I told him I have to decide if I like him enough to keep putting myself in the situation where I'm going to feel judged and put down constantly for doing nothing more than dating her son. He said he understands. I told him I can't handle visiting his parents very often and he understood that too. He doesn't even like visiting. I told him I should have told his mom that the dress she wore to church looked like a tablecloth and he laughed and said "Go for it. She won't know how to take it if she's hearing the same things she's saying" and I told him I probably wouldn't go that far but he said if I did he would back me up.
He wants this to work no matter how his mom acts. He hates it. So I guess we'll see how it goes. It just really hurts me to have someone hate me so much when I've done NOTHING wrong.

[DianaB]

Wow, and I thought that my MIL was bad before we got married!!! This woman takes the cake. She is just RUDE. Personally, I wouldn't go back. If Scott wants to visit his Mom then maybe he needs to just go by himself. If she wants to know why you aren't there then he can explain it to her.

It sounds like you did a good job of keeping your cool with her and was nice to her in spite of her being rude. You don't have to subject yourself to that.

Or maybe you need to have a talk with her and explain that either you can fight over your time with Scott and make him choose between the two of you OR you can both get along and everyone enjoy being together with Scott. I wish you a LOT of good luck with this one!!!!

[Lindsey]

Thanks Diana. I was AMAZED at how she would just come out and say those things! Scott had said before he thought our families would get along well but after this weekend I was like "Nope, definitely not." Our dads would get along great, but if his mom said anything like that to my mom, my mom would have none of it. And my mom is great! But she won't take that from anyone.
I told Scott I can't visit every time he does because there's only so much of that I can handle. I think I'm a pretty strong person but I couldn't help crying as soon as I got in his car. I cried for about half of our drive.
He said his sisters went through the same things. They are both married but their mom HATED when they were dating. His pregnant sister and her husband live in the same city but never visit. They came over for brunch, and later Scott said "Did you notice he barely said a word? He's always like that around my parents. Same with my other sister's husband" He said they never even go there unless there's a reason, and they usually leave quickly.
Scott said it wouldn't even bother him to not visit his mom anymore. I couldn't imagine feeling that way about my family.

[DianaB]

Maybe Scott needs to tell his Mom that if she continues to treat you rudely then he'll have no choice but to limit his time with her. She needs to know that the way she treats you hurts his relationship with her.

[Janet]

As Dr. Phil says.."you teach people how to treat you." I'm sorry, but in a very nice way...I would have to put her in her place. When she would say something so rude...I would have to ask her why she would say such a rude thing. I would have to keep putting it back on her to explain...all the while being as nice as I could. In reality I would want to kick her freak'n butt, but hey...that's not the correct way to handle things.

[Blueyes]

Ok..my first question: WHAT was so important that they left you all day after you had made a special trip just to see them????

[Tiramisu]

That's how my husband's mother (I try not to call her MY MIL) treated me. My first visit to their house was on Easter Sunday, a beautiful day outside. We went for early morning "sunrise" services, went back to their house, had breakfast, and the sitting around started. I finally said, "It's such a beautiful day. Let's go for a walk." "NO, this is a religious day, we do nothing!" So, I sat there and dozed. Thing is that that's not the way they are, she was just pulling her weight that day and many others.

Stand up to her "flat footed" and respectfully put her in her place now! Last year, I asked that my husband's mother never come to my house again. When Hurricane Ike was coming in, he wanted to go bring her over and I offered that he could go stay with her or take her somewhere else. He chose me!

[pope1982]

I feel for you honey. I went through much of the same emotions/situations and we are married after 10 years of dating, so it can work.

But, and this is a big but... most of the time unless both partners are willing to say "to hell with them" and distance themselves when there are poisonous factors stressing a relationship, it will come to an end. It has to be a joint goal/decision.

I would get so upset and my poor husband was stuck in the middle, torn between an unwell mother and myself. I still feel horrible about all he has been through. Unfortunately, I have become numb mostly to it now and the distance is the only way our family has a chance at working. I think Scott knows this, this is why he lives some what of a distance from her. Seems he is phasing her out the best he knows how because no matter how horrible the woman is, he doesn't want to hurt her. And he doesn't want to hurt you.

Dish it back out to her, and show what you will go through to be with her son if you really like him, that will really piss her off because she is trying like hell to chase you off. As sick as it sounds, I bet she is getting off upsetting you :mad:

Here is your answer if you were wondering what took him so long to introduce you. Although it's easier said than done, and had I been able to jump in a time machine and hear myself giving the advice of "don't let it get to you" even 5 years ago, I wouldn't believe it was coming from me! Hang in there if it's worth it, he's going to need time to recover from the years of mental abuse she's put him through by disrespectfully degrading people he cares about and isolating him in such a manner, as well as whatever he isn't telling you. (as a man you can bet it's probably worse than what you're dealing with because they aren't big on sharing especially so soon)

My last bit of advice, would be to speak to other NORMAL members of his family who love him, even if they don't speak up and allow her to bully the family, they've got to be tired of it.
Find out their take and take from their advice what you need. If nothing else, they will help you to see you are not crazy (because after a while, you will start to question that) and tell you not to take it personally.

Hang in there, give that bitch a run for her money.

[pope1982]

Scott said it wouldn't even bother him to not visit his mom anymore. I couldn't imagine feeling that way about my family.

She is setting herself up for failure. You cannot imagine what he must have gone through... and sadly, in her trying to get him to "pick her" over you, it is going to back fire.

She eats it up when he is silent as she throws digs at you. As long as he keeps defending you, which he must care for you if she eventually pissed him off that much... she will probably get a lot more crazy and desperate before all is said and done though, just a warning.

[Lindsey]

Ok..my first question: WHAT was so important that they left you all day after you had made a special trip just to see them????

Work stuff and church stuff... One day his mom nonchalantly asked his sister when she was flying out and she told her whatever time and she said "Oh I wonder if one of us will be around, you might need to find someone else to drive you to the airport"
The whole church thing was very driven into their brains when they were growing up, and now none of the kids go to church. I felt like we were sort of guilted into going. His sister said no, she just got there from a flight the day before and wanted to sleep in. Their mom was angry about that and told her she should be going anyway.
I know that growing up, she would punish Scott for anything having to do with girls. All little kids are curious and do things they shouldn't be doing and it's up to the parents to teach them right from wrong, but it's going a little far to punish them and make them scared of even talking to girls. When little kids have crushes, it's cute. But to his mom it was WRONG. He was always terrified of dating and still has trouble making first moves to hold my hand or anything simple like that. He says it's because he still has this idea in his head that it's bad and it's wrong because it's what he's always been taught. His mom believes he shouldn't be touching a girl until he's married.
I did tell Scott that if things continue this way, it may be a deal breaker because I respect myself too much to keep putting myself in that situation. After thinking about it all day he said he can't stand to think of not holding me anymore and he can't get it out of his mind. He is going to ask his mom what she thinks of me and see where it goes from there. I told him just to let her know that when she says things it hurts me and she should think about things before she says them. He agreed, but she is going to be very angry :(

[judy]

Weren't you there a couple of weeks ago? Your own family sounds wonderful, and fun to visit, but the truth is that once you and Scott became a couple, you really should be creating your own family life. Visiting Mommy Dearest should occur only when it can't be avoided.

Distance is a wonderful thing when it comes to disagreeable family. It does sound like the two sons-in-law have figured out how to deal with her.
Don't go too often and keep quiet. Or don't keep quiet. I doubt if it would make any difference. She really sounds like there is something very wrong with her.

It sounds like Scott really has good intentions. He is on your side, and does not defend his mother at all. He probably is very frightened of making her angry. I would imagine that is why he doesn't stand up to her when you are there. She is quite abusive, and he may not be able to speak up for you for a long time.

Stay away from her Lindsey. She really is not normal. She won't be changing.

[Lindsey]

They came here a few weeks ago for an afternoon, just because they were going to a concert here. Otherwise they've never visited him here.
I just talked to my parents about it and they were like "Did you tell her she's an angry old hag?" lol. My dad couldn't believe it. He said "When Scott comes here we treat him just like family!" and that's how I've always been treated with the families of my exes too... everyone welcomed me with open arms.
But I don't even think it will matter if she does change now. The damage is done. She can't just undo that first impression. I'm not going to forget it.

[gja1000]

Lindsay, I just don't know what to say. I can't imagine saying anything like that to anyone at anytime - so I am dumbfounded. I don't any any advice and I'm very sorry that you are having to deal with this. I agree with whomever said that she is a sick woman.

[Lindsey]

Well he talked to his sisters about me tonight. They said I seemed nice. He said I had a problem with their mom and that I don't want to visit anymore and they basically said I need to just get over it. They said it's just a purse, it's just a dog, who cares. I care because it's insulting!!!
It's kind of affecting my view of Scott now too. A month ago I was sure this was the guy I was going to marry someday. Now I can't get over the feeling that his family will never accept me, and it's not even the kind of family I want to be a part of anyway. I don't want my future children to have that as a grandmother.

[gja1000]

Lindsay, my gut feeling, even though I don't have any good advice and I don't have any experience with this kind of thing is to RUN - RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!

Given a choice, I would not want to ever be a part of that family nor would I want my children to be part of that family - ever. I don't like the answers that his sisters gave, at all! It sounds to me, that they could be as callous and uncaring as his mom.

Unless you all can move far far away, I would be very hesitant to subject myself to that treatment, even for a visit.

Of course, that is easy for me to say. And there have been others who say they had a similar experience with a mother-in-law and it did get better. So, I'm just giving you my gut feeling, not really any advice at all.

[pope1982]

Sadly, our situation has never improved. The way we handle it has :)
I'm never one to sugar coat, it is is a lot of work. Definitely high maintenance and a huge sacrifice but when you truly love someone, sacrifice is easy.
My new MIL didn't even attend our wedding. When I hand delivered her the invitation on Thanksgiving, I was told to stick it up my ass because she couldn't get her way with OUR wedding :rolleyes:
It was embarassing, degrading and the last shot I am giving a relationship with her because every time I try, I get kicked harder when she snaps out of the front she is putting up because she is using me to get info about her son and our life together (he's a smart man, keeps his distance. I am the dummy that kept falling for her guilt trips and wanting the relationship to work so badly I put myself in the line of fire)

Oh well, it was the best night of our lives to spite her.:p

Well, I guess I shouldn't say it hasn't improved, because in a way it has. She used to call 3 times a day to ask him what he had eaten, what he was doing... etc.
Now it is quiet and peaceful, until the holidays roll around *sigh*

Our children will not know this dysfunction, I told my husband long ago I will not subject them to the brain washing and the mental torture. He agrees it is our choice and we have to do what is best for our family. It is not the ideal family life I'd always envisioned, but like Judy said, you are building your own family.
Besides, life is 10% how you make it and 90% how you take it.

[pope1982]

Here are a few adrenaline pumping, inspirational tunes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB7pQpNx-F4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtIPmGwKlzo

[Lindsey]

:) Thanks pope! I love that quote, "life is 10% how you make it and 90% how you take it."
He just called his mom to talk about her resentment towards me. I'm getting the info on the conversation right now... in Scott's words:

"my mom said she is sorry ... she didn't mean to make you feel that way. and both of them liked you ... polite, you played cards .. and you even offered to help ..
but as my parents have always told me ... when i bring friends over... if they don't talk and tease... they don't like ya..
my mom thought you were great and she liked that you were tall..."

Okay but it wasn't just teasing, it was insulting! My dad teased Scott about practicing playing some pool before he comes back, and that's normal teasing. Telling someone that things they own are ugly, the way they have raised their dog is disgusting, they are uneducated because they went to a small town school, that's not just teasing.
Now he said that she told him that nothing she said was meant to hurt me, but next time she will be more careful about what she says, and that she hopes there is a next time.
I don't know what to think now. Is she really serious or just trying to make Scott not be mad at her anymore?

[Blueyes]

She's trying to make it look like it's YOUR fault because of the way you took her teasing! She'll never take responsibility for how she treats you, sweety. It sounds like she treats you just like one of her own kids..AWFUL!!

[Lindsey]

She said something else to him about an hour later on msn and he copied and pasted it to me. She just went online and said "Okay now I feel really bad" and then on and on about how she didn't mean to be hurtful to me and from now on she will watch what she says. I'm not sure if she's saying these things to make Scott stop being mad at her, or if she really means it.
I feel like already his sisters think I'm a big baby for complaining about it all. His one sister said "And about the dog... it IS gross that it pees inside but that's her choice i guess" :mad:
I will give it another shot. I like Scott too much to give up on it right now. And there's something else to look forward to that I will post in another thread... :)

[DianaB]

She's trying to make it look like it's YOUR fault because of the way you took her teasing! She'll never take responsibility for how she treats you, sweety......

I agree. I think that she's being manipulative!!!

[judy]

She said something else to him about an hour later on msn and he copied and pasted it to me. She just went online and said "Okay now I feel really bad" and then on and on about how she didn't mean to be hurtful to me and from now on she will watch what she says. I'm not sure if she's saying these things to make Scott stop being mad at her, or if she really means it.
I feel like already his sisters think I'm a big baby for complaining about it all. His one sister said "And about the dog... it IS gross that it pees inside but that's her choice i guess" :mad:
I will give it another shot. I like Scott too much to give up on it right now. And there's something else to look forward to that I will post in another thread... :)


A woman who actually punishes her son for having anything to do with girls, to the point that he is still impacted by it, is not "alright." The fact that her daughters are like her does not mean that you are a baby, or wrong in your assessment of the situation. They were raised by her after all. That's who they take after, or maybe her craziness is inherited.

I really feel there is something very "off" with this woman, and that even if she tries, she is not going to change.

So - here's my thought. What does she have to do with you and Scott? Other than your expectation that his family will be nice, and your children will have them in their lives, they are just not that important in the end. If Scott can deal with seeing them very rarely, and you can deal with all of that, then that's all that matters.

I would not give her any more chances. What is she getting a chance to do? She showed herself to you already, like you said.

I also banned my second MIL from calling my house, and I stopped having anything to do with her a couple of years before Joel and I separated. Actually, she was a sweet, loving woman. She and Joel had a totally co-dependent relationship, and I felt like a third party. After she was out of the picture, I had the space to know him without her interference. Obviously, I did not want to be with him, etc., etc.

Getting her out of my life and my marriage was not a big deal though. I am much older than you, and I just do not have anything to do with toxic people.

[Lindsey]

Thank you Judy. Scott is way too dependent on his mom. He has never even had his hair cut by anyone other than his mom. I keep pushing him to pay $10 and go to a hairdresser instead of going home every month for his mom to cut his hair :mad: Heck, I can even cut his hair. I cut my brother's hair and charge him $20 for it! Clippers are not that hard to use!
He also still has all of his mail going to his mom's house and she sorts it for him and files all of his bills and everything. He says it's because he doesn't have a permanent place to change his address to yet. Well I changed my address when I moved out of my parents' house right after high school, and I've changed it every time I moved since then. But anytime he gets mail, he has to go home.
Last night when we talked I told him I only go home maybe 3 or 4 times a year. I usually go home for Christmas, and at least once in the summer to go fishing at the lake and enjoy the cabin. Then if my best friend goes home to visit her mom I usually try to go back to visit her too, because we never see each other. My parents and I have a great relationship now. We talk on the phone maybe a couple of times a week, and we visit whenever they can get to the city. But I don't feel at all that I NEED my parents to do ANYTHING for me. I am independent and they are there to support me in whatever I choose to do with my life. It's just what I'm used to so I feel that it's how it should be.
Anyways, he said he understands that and he might have to cut back a little. He was going to bring his extra set of tires back with us after last weekend so he could change them here (he has winter tires on now that need to come off). It's very easy to change and he had the room to just throw the extra tires in his trunk. His mom said no, he might as well just go back home for a few weeks to do it there and she took out the calendar to tell him which weekend to come home again (April 24th) and he just said "okay"

[Lindsey]

Oh and one other thing... lol I can't believe I'm saying this here... but he told me that he can't even stand up to pee because his mom has always taught him to sit down!!!! I may be naive but I've never known a guy to sit down to pee every time. I always thought girls sit down, boys stand up! Lol did I really just tell you guys that? :o

[judy]

Oh and one other thing... lol I can't believe I'm saying this here... but he told me that he can't even stand up to pee because his mom has always taught him to sit down!!!! I may be naive but I've never known a guy to sit down to pee every time. I always thought girls sit down, boys stand up! Lol did I really just tell you guys that? :o

I had a mentor in grad school who sat down to pee! He used to tell us - he realized when he was raising his daughters that that's a good chance to take a rest. You know - why stand when you can sit?

Poor Scott. Mommy Dearest is getting worser and worser.

Do you love him? Does he love you? Are you willing to stay with him if nothing changes in him? You don't ever have to see the wicked witch, but he may have to. If all that is okay with you, and you both love each other, give it your best. Love is not always fun, but it is what makes the world go round.

[Lindsey]

I do love him. And I'm sure he loves me. We haven't said the words yet but the feeling is there. I want to be with him more than anything. I've never seen my future with someone like I see it with him.

[gja1000]

Well then, you are just going to have to figure out how to make it work. I don't envy you, but as lots of others have said, it can be done. Hey, maybe you'll come to the States, and decide to stay here - THAT would put a lot of distance between you two! :D

[Mandy]

Hmm... i dont envy you, i personally would not be able to stay polite to her!
There is a huge difference between teasing a person, and being plain insulting, it's pathetic on her part for insulting her own son's GF ~ it says everything and lack of personality, in a way i feel bad for her, poor thing doesnt know any better obviously.
Follow your heart Lindsey, i am sure he really loves you, and who knows what he has had to put up with in the past.
It's not natural for him to feel that "it's wrong" to have a GF, how did mommy dearest meet daddy? I am sure they must have been in love at some point, or else Scott and hes sisters wouldnt be around, or did she find them on her doorstep?

[Lindsey]

I talked to my parents again about this last night and told them how his mom was apologizing like crazy and neither of my parents believed it was genuine. They both pointed out that she wouldn't have acted like that in the first place if it wasn't her true personality. There is no excuse for being that insulting to a person. She is far from perfect, and for being such a religious and church-going person you'd think she would realize it is not her place to judge anyone.
Oh well, I want to be with him and he wants to be with me and I am not letting his mom get in the way of us. Like so many people have said, we need to make a life for ourselves, not just to make our parents happy. And I think I've gotten to the point where I don't care anymore if she likes me or hates me. As long as she can hold back her insults, I'm just going to keep living my life (hopefully with her son!) :)

[Blueyes]

Lindsey..there is a world of difference between a religious/church going person, and a spiritual person. It's so disturbing to me when a person makes such an issue out of being "religious", but doesn't have the first clue how to treat people the way Jesus taught.

[pope1982]

I agree with your parents that it's not genuine. If anything, it's probably condescending! I say, show you are the better person and play her game this once, give her enough rope to hang herself.
You know the old saying "fool me once,"...

[Lindsey]

Lindsey..there is a world of difference between a religious/church going person, and a spiritual person. It's so disturbing to me when a person makes such an issue out of being "religious", but doesn't have the first clue how to treat people the way Jesus taught.

I agree completely.
She makes a huge fuss out of her kids not going to church anymore, especially Scott. The way he tells it, he still has his beliefs, he still has faith, he just doesn't feel he needs to go to church every week to feel it. The main thing is that he is a GOOD PERSON. He treats people well and has a good conscience. His mom may go to church every week but she is lacking basic manners and respect for other people. It doesn't make her any better a person than he is, or than I am, or than anyone else is!

[Lindsey]

I agree with your parents that it's not genuine. If anything, it's probably condescending! I say, show you are the better person and play her game this once, give her enough rope to hang herself.
You know the old saying "fool me once,"...

I think the only person who believes her is Scott. But I will go along with it, I will give it another chance, and hopefully she is more respectful even just if it's to keep her son from being angry with her.

[Mandy]

Lindsey..there is a world of difference between a religious/church going person, and a spiritual person. It's so disturbing to me when a person makes such an issue out of being "religious", but doesn't have the first clue how to treat people the way Jesus taught.



Exactly!!!! I agree 100% with you. :thumbup:

As the saying goes "Practice what you preach"

[judy]

Whatever she does or says, just remember that she is a psycho.

[Lindsey]

Whatever she does or says, just remember that she is a psycho.

Great advice lol :D
She was talking to Scott on msn this morning at work (I hate that... I don't even use msn at work. I do use the internet quite a bit but I figure there's gotta be a line somewhere) and I guess her computer at home froze while she was typing something so she called him immediately to continue the conversation, and of course to tell him to say hello to me for her.

[Gina]

RUN RUN RUN!!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!



Lindsey, seriously this woman sounds like Monster In Law... This woman is RUDE, Obnoxious , Insensitive , shall I go on.. She knows dam well what she says and her daughters are just like her.. You or any other girl will never be good enough for her son.

Yes you love Scott , but trust me Scott will never sever that tie. Tell me a little about his dad ? Does she rule him to? What kind of relationship did she have with her MIL ? some women tend to forget they married someone's son to.

Janet gave you good advice, when she insults you give it back to her with a smile but give her the zing to.. UGH! I hate women like her who does she think she is , and that her crap doesn't stink.. sorry!

If you marry Scott she will never leave you alone, and you will have three MIL's for the daughters will act like his mom.. You should speak to their husbands and see if they open up. I doubt it their wives would be all over them.

You have a tough call to make , your falling in love but like I once told you , you marry a family when you say I do. You may take him away but deep down he may resent you later on in life. I have seen this happen where the women hated their MIL and years down the road the couple end up divorcing.

Pope I am sorry to hear that your MIL did not attend the wedding, her loss. I had a friend his mom hated his wife to be. She to did not attend the wedding, but they made up months later. It was shame for she missed out on the most important day of her sons life..

Lindsey you have been given great advice from all your surrogate moms here.. lol.. Listen to your mom she will guide you. Your young , pretty and a smart girl don't settle.

[celstu1]

When you marry someone, you marry their family too.... think about that! :) Good Luck!

[Lindsey]

I have not had the pleasure :rolleyes: of seeing his mom again since the last meeting, although they were in the city on Thursday night. Scott left to meet them to pick up some things while I had a friend at my house (spending the night as she was passing through town) Scott's mom called earlier that day to arrange when they'd be in and I heard Scott say "I don't need to go there for anything" and his mom said "Well I guess not unless you want to visit with us for a little while" and Scott said "No I don't really need to" ... Then he told me when he met them at his house his mom kept asking where he was in such a hurry to go, and he just said "Back to Lindsey's, she has company and we're visiting" And his mom wasn't pleased but she didn't say anything more.
Anyways, we just spent Easter weekend with my family and friends back home while his parents went to BC. On our way back to the city late last night he said to me "I love visiting your family. I feel way more comfortable there than I even do at my own parents' house" I told him I'm glad he said that because I feel more comfortable there too.

[DianaB]

It sounds like Scott is working on severing the apron ties to his Mom. It will take a while but eventually his Mom will accept it.

I have a SIL that would much rather be here than his own parents house too. It makes me glad that he enjoys being here and sad to think of what he grew up in. It wasn't the best home life. Scott's learning the difference between the two and it will help him to decide what he wants his own home to be like.

[Blueyes]

It sounds like Scott is working on severing the apron ties to his Mom. It will take a while but eventually his Mom will accept it.

I have a SIL that would much rather be here than his own parents house too. It makes me glad that he enjoys being here and sad to think of what he grew up in. It wasn't the best home life. Scott's learning the difference between the two and it will help him to decide what he wants his own home to be like.

I completely agree with Diana. My best friend has a SIL just like this, too.