My Son

[Gina]

My son has been dating his girlfriend for over 3 1/2 yrs. He is 24 and she is a little older 26. She called me the other night and she was upset, so I assumed they fought for they have been lately. She tells me that my son broke off with her. She was in shock because she did not expect this. To be honest as she is telling me this I am in shock.

I like this girl so much it breaks my heart, I cried myself. She told me his reasoning is that he does not want to get married for a long time, and he loves her but does not want to hold her back. She is a wonderful girl . As you know he just graduated college and is looking for a job, but as we all know the lovely economy there are no jobs to be found on Wall St. I asked him and he said mom I do love her but I want to be free and if its meant to be down the road we will get back.

I don't want to push him or make him feel guilty , Its better he reallizes now than if he marries and later regrets it. He dated her to young. .Its a shame they didnt meet now. She to by all means is not ready to get married she is graduating soon herself and needs employment. I spoke to her mom several times and her parents are very upset to and this breaks my heart. I try not to think about it, but I feel terrible. I told my son from now on please don't bring any girls to my house, for I get attached and when its over I am hurting...

I just am venting thanks for listening.. I am sure some of you have gone through this with your kids.. I just have to butt out... But it hurts....:(

[Janet]

Aw Gina....it must be really hard. I know it would be for me, I get attached too easily. It is good though that he's being honest with her and you. He's missed out some on dating since they were together 3.5 years. Maybe he needs to get out and find what he truly wants and needs. I know everyone is upset, but it is best to end things now before marriage and children come into the picture.

[Marilyn]

Gina, this must be very upsetting. I'm sure she feels like family by now.

Your son may be very wise. He understands their relationship and perhaps something vital is missing.

So hope all works out for all concerned.

[judy]

I'm sorry this is happening Gina. It may be that he just needs to be sure that he really isn't missing out on anything. They are both young. It is much better than them getting married and it not working out.

I hope it all works out like a fairytale, Gina. They will get back together and be n love forever!

[DianaB]

I have a cousin that did almost this exact thing. Mark's girlfriend was a wonderful girl and my Aunt just loved her. In my Aunt's opinion she was just perfect for Mark in every way. When Mark broke up with her she called my Aunt and they were both very upset. Everyone thought that they'd eventually get back together but it didn't happen. It ended up that Mark found another girl and in a short time they were married.

Don't give up hope. We can't understand all the reasons that our kids do what they do but I'm sure he's thought this over very carefully. It sounds like he's being very grown-up and is taking the decision about not keeping his girlfriend very seriously. It's really hard to let our kids make their own decisions sometimes. He sounds like a very responsible boy.

[donna1990]

I know how you feel. Same thing happened to me and I am still very close to Cory's X, love her so much. He broke her heart and mine.
Hope things work out for the best.

[Blueyes]

I know how you feel, too! Blasted boys NEVER ask us if it's ok to break up with girlfriends. It does make you guard your heart so you won't get attached to their girlfriend, just in case they break up. It's hard on us moms! If it makes you feel any better, I ended up with the best two dil's in the world:)

[Janet]

I'm learning something here....yet again!!! I have to make mental note not to get too attached to girlfriends of my son.....just in case.

[Gina]

Thank you all ladies.. Janet learn from this lol.. This morning after I typed that post she called me again telling me that she is not eating, lost 15 pds. not sleeping etc. and was crying. I keep reiterating that she has to move on and not to call my son. I FEEL TERRIBLE but like everyone said he is my son and he is a very mature boy. I know he is hurting too but this is what relationships are all about. Better now that after they get married. I try not to think about it for I do feel bad... But whatever is meant to be will be. Thanks!

[Gina]

I know how you feel, too! Blasted boys NEVER ask us if it's ok to break up with girlfriends. It does make you guard your heart so you won't get attached to their girlfriend, just in case they break up. It's hard on us moms! If it makes you feel any better, I ended up with the best two dil's in the world:)

Betsi so nice to hear a MIL say that .. :) I am sure they feel that way about you to.

[gja1000]

I don't have any experience here. My daughter married the second guy she dated and I loved him to pieces, still do. I can't imagine if she' broken up with him - I'd probably blasted her (not really, but I would have wanted to ). They've been married 14 years and seem to be very very happy!

[Mandy]

Gina, i'm sorry this happened, but like all the other ladies said, better now than after they married.
Your son probably wants to taste a bit of life, he is young and i dont blame him.
She needs to let him go, if he is meant to be hers, he will go back to her.