I am FRUSTRATED!!!!.......

[Willow]

and a little, no alot, angry!!!!!

My husband and I were invited to a Yorkie Christmas party and we thought we would make a weekend of it since it is in another state. Well, we had someone offer us a place to stay for the weekend so we won't have hotel costs.

Let me just say, my husband and I never get to go ANYWHERE as just him and me. We have four kids and it is hard to find a sitter for four kids. My own mom won't watch them. She says she is burned out on babysitting because she watches my stupid cousins kids ALL THE FREAKING TIME and she won't even take ONE of mine when they themselves ask Gramma if they can come stay over just to stay because she is gramma.

Until this year I watched their 11 year old and 7 year old for their anniversary so my mom and step dad could go out. But they have NEVER watched our kids for us on our Anniversary so we have NEVER gone out for our anniversary.

So I asked her about the Christmas party because it is two months away and I need to RSVP and I am one of these that likes to have my plans in place so they aren't last minute. She told me we will see when December gets here. The party is in the beginning of December so I can't wait until December to RSVP.

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE JUST STARTING FAMILIES!!!! Stop having kids after 2!! Especially if you have hopes of EVER going out with your SO!! No one wants to watch more than two kids anymore.

So I guess now we are going to try to find family/friends who will watch one or two of the kids for that weekend.

I love my kids. But sometimes moms and dads need a break. It seems like my mom gets breaks from her two and it seems like all my friends get breaks from theirs, but we aren't supposed to.

I guess we are being selfish to want a weekend to ourselves. Is it not fair to ask someone else to watch our kids so we can have a weekend of fun?

[Marilyn]

You are not being selfish. I'd find a way to make it work. We had a similiar problem when our girls were small. We had babysat for my husbands brother and his wife for years and thought when we had children, they would be there to reciprocate. Not...They moved 2 hours away while I was pregnant with our first. My sister kept our first baby for a few hours while we had a party, but brought her home before the party was over, so we never tried that again. My parents lived 20 minutes out of town, but were getting too old and we did not want the girls in the car with their grandfather driving, so we were stuck. No family to help out. We did find a reliable paid babysitter, finally, but we did only have two, so it was I'm sure much easier.

You need a break to be a couple every now and then to keep your relationship going without the kids. You may have to split them up for the weekend, but I'd definitely find a way to work this out and go to that party.

Wishing you the very best!!:heart:

[magnolia]

I agree with Marilyn - try to find someone who can keep the kids for you for the week-end. I don't know the ages of your kids but check with friends - you may have to put each one in a different home but please, don't feel guilty about doing that!!! The kids will have fun as they will be staying with someone their age that they can play with. You've got some time to work this out and with the party in early December, no one should have plans to be out of town visiting family then so hopefully it will work out.

I realize your frustration over family not helping out. When hubby and I lived in the greater New Orleans area, I didn't have to worry about a sitter for my oldest - he has family out the "wazzoo" down there and they all offered to keep him! When we moved back here, it was a little more difficult. My mother is disabled due to severe arthritis in her knees and just couldn't keep up with an active 2 year old - then a year later, the youngest came along. I thought my sister would offer to help out as I ALWAYS kept her 2 while she went and played softball or whatever but each time I asked her, she had other plans! I, too, found a very reliable paid babysitter and she didn't charge much at all.....she was a widow who truly loves children (her's were all teenagers at the time) and a lot of times would keep my boys because SHE wanted to, not because we had plans. She truly was a godsend to us.

I know things will work out for you - will be praying that they do. As frustrated as you are now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please keep us posted on how things work out. If I lived closer, I'd keep your kids (yes, ALL of them) for the week-end:)

[Janet]

Sorry you're having a difficult time with this. Are there any friends that have older teenagers that wouldn't mind coming to your home....Would this be just for over night or from Friday til Sunday? Is there someone in your church family that would be able to help out....keep asking around so you'll have plenty of time to find someone you trust. What about all the other couples going to the party? Wouldn't it be nice if they found someone for all the kids...kind of like a slumber party for them??? Just wanted to help with some ideas. :)

[Mandy]

Oh you definatly need some time away, i can imagine it must be hard with 4 kids to find a babysitter.
There just has to be a solution, keep all your options open. You deserve a break!!

[Kimberley]

You are so right! Parents DO need a break every now and then. otherwise, how are husbands and wives suppose to reconnect? I hope that you're able to find someone to keep your kids and make it to the party. That will be a nice get away for you two.

[Willow]

Yeah, I am sorry guys. I was in a bad frame of mind when I posted this. Please forgive my ranting!

I have a friend who has offered to keep the younger two that weekend. And it is from Friday night until Sunday afternoon. My friend from work said she will keep the younger two kids for me, as she is set up for toddlers already and has places they can sleep. I am going to ask my friend if she will take one or both of the older two for that weekend and I also have an Aunt that said she might take my oldest son for the weekend. So it looks like it may work out after all.

Again, I apologize for voicing my frustrations like I did. Thanks for listening!

[rivermom]

You have no need at all to apologize. It is so very important and healthy for the hubby and wife to have "adult time away alone!!". It sounds like you have your sitter issues worked out which is great!

Now, when you go to this party, have a blast!!! :thumbup:

[red98vett]

Girl - I would be venting too and glad things worked out - you have alot on your plate and I don't mean your dinner !! You and your husband NEED some alone time and I can sympathise.....I only had 2 boys and was super picky about who watched them - my mom was a big help to me and I can't imagine her turning me down lol ...what about bringing in a sitter to your home ??? do you do that ??

[Janet]

So when is this shindig anyway? I just wanted to use the word "shindig." :D I used it the other day and my son laughed his head off!! Guess I'm telling my age...LOL

Be sure you tell us all about it, I've not heard of a Yorkie Christmas party. Give us all the details!!:)

[Willow]

Well we aren't getting to go. It takes place next weekend in Michigan I think. I actually forgot all about having posted this here LOL

We couldn't arrange for a sitter to watch the older two...and I am kind of funny about trusting someone to stay in my house for two nights...I mean, the area we live in, ya can't really trust the few neighbors that we DO have even if it is out in the country.

This past summer with the gas prices going up we have had a lot of gas cyphened (sp?) out of our cars. Not a good thing!

Anyhooo....we decided to just spend the time with the kids after all. Yesterday was my birthday and we couldn't even get a sitter for just two hours so we could go out to dinner. :rolleyes: It is no big deal. We are so used to it that I don't know why I even let it bother me anymore.

Thanks ladies! I appreciate the opportunity to get my feelings out every so often!:thumbup:

[Chimchim]

I'll watch 'em. :D

[Willow]

I'll watch 'em. :D

LOL thank you! I appreciate the thought!:)

[Tink]

I'm sorry Willow!
I went through years of similar times, so don't think you were being selfish at all!
Parents need a break once in a while too!

I do have my 2 granddaughters once in a while so my daughter and her hubby can get some time to themselves. The girls are 7 and 1 1/2, so I don't take them for more than a couple of days at a time, but I do try to help out when I can. I enjoy having them, but will admit they do wear me out! LOL

I believe that the greatest gift we can give our kids is parents who are loving and happy within their relationship. It demonstrates for the kids how it should be, and gives them a solid basis to grow in. When you think you're being selfish by wanting time to yourselves, just try to remember they are here because of the 2 of you, and will do best when your marriage is also strong and happy.

So taking time out for your spouse is healthy for ALL of you.