Lindsey
01-04-2010, 09:30 AM
1. I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not
dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde. [Dolly Parton]
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a
smart woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me
she was in labour for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good
for 36 hours. [Rita Rudner]
4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t
decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. [Rita Rudner]
5. I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman]
6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. [Erma
Bombeck]
7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]
8. I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne
Barr]
9. I think — therefore I’m single. [Lizz Winstead]
10. “When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country.” [Elayne Boosler]
11. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” [Maryon Pearson]
12. “I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” [Gilda Radner]
13. “In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done,
ask a woman.” [Margaret Thatcher]
14. “If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose
Catholicism because it at least has female saints and the Virgin Mary.”
[Margaret Atwood]
15. “I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career.” [Gloria Steinhem]
16. “Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” [Gloria Steinhem]
17. “I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which
answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every
morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at
night.” [Marie Corelli]
18. “Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.” [Baroness Edith
Summerskill]
19. “If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?” [Linda
Ellerbee]
20. “I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
[Zsa Zsa Gabor]
dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde. [Dolly Parton]
2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a
smart woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]
3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me
she was in labour for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good
for 36 hours. [Rita Rudner]
4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t
decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. [Rita Rudner]
5. I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman]
6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. [Erma
Bombeck]
7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]
8. I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne
Barr]
9. I think — therefore I’m single. [Lizz Winstead]
10. “When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country.” [Elayne Boosler]
11. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” [Maryon Pearson]
12. “I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” [Gilda Radner]
13. “In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done,
ask a woman.” [Margaret Thatcher]
14. “If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose
Catholicism because it at least has female saints and the Virgin Mary.”
[Margaret Atwood]
15. “I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career.” [Gloria Steinhem]
16. “Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” [Gloria Steinhem]
17. “I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which
answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every
morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at
night.” [Marie Corelli]
18. “Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.” [Baroness Edith
Summerskill]
19. “If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?” [Linda
Ellerbee]
20. “I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
[Zsa Zsa Gabor]