Prayers for my Dad

[paula1961]

He went to his kidney doctor today and they are sending him to a surgeon to discuss surgery for a shank to start dialysis. This news has me very worried. My dad has long suffered from congestive heart failure. He has been in and out of the hospital many many times over the past several years to get fluid off of him. He has to watch his fluid intake very carefully. No more than 5% sodium. My Dad is the rock of our family! He is such a kind and caring person! He has been a minister since I was 7 years old. And has more faith than anyone that I have ever met. I know that I am rambling now. I am very stressed! I will let you know the turn out of this appt. For now just please say a prayer for my Dad. Thank you girls. you are the absolute best friends in the world!

[gja1000]

Paula, I am so sorry this is happening to your dad. It is very common though, in long standing heart failure. In fact, my Gary who also has heart failure, may be facing the same thing in the not too distant future. The kidneys are sacrificed when keeping the fluid so low in heart failure, but there is just nothing else that can be done. The fluid level must be low in heart failure, but low fluid levels stress the kidneys - so it is a Catch 22.

Dialysis is OK, it's really not that bad at all. I'm not trying to minimize it, but just to say that if it happens your dad has to go on dialysis, it will be OK. It is hard though when our parents health is failing, I know how hard it is.

Keep us posted and I will certainly keep him (and you!) in my thoughts!

[Blueyes]

I'm so sorry about your dad. I will keep you both in my prayers. It's hard to see a strong man go downhill, especially when it's your dad. Love you!

[judy]

I will keep you all in my prayers Paula. It is hard to watch someone you love go through these things. Janet's mom is on dialysis, and she does it overnight, at home.

Hopefully, he won't need it at all.

[paula1961]

Thank you girls so much. Yes Gayle I have read on some of your replies about Gary's problems and also Betsi's hubbies as well. I do believe that everything will be ok, it's just so sad as you all know to see your dad who has always been this big strong man turn into to a weak feeble guy. It is heart breaking.

My mom is taking it really hard too. She thinks that because he might be on dialysis that they wouldn't be able to go anywhere. She likes to stay on the go and my dad just doesn't have the energy anymore to do that. I try to tell her that their life isn't going to stop.

I knew that Janet's mom was on dialysis. I even told my mom about her and how she was planning on going to Florida this winter, I was trying to give her something positive to think about. By the way how is Janet's mom doing? Is she out of the hospital?

I will keep you all posted. Love you all:)

[DianaB]

Paula, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's problems. I'll keep him in my prayers. Hugs!!

[gja1000]

I do believe that everything will be ok, it's just so sad as you all know to see your dad who has always been this big strong man turn into to a weak feeble guy. It is heart breaking.

My mom is taking it really hard too. She thinks that because he might be on dialysis that they wouldn't be able to go anywhere.

Oh Paula, I know exactly what you mean. It is so terribly heartbreaking to watch your parents' health fail. I feel the same way about Gary. He used to build houses, amazing houses from the ground up, and now he can't even swing a hammer for more than a few seconds before getting winded. It is so very hard.

About the going places (your mom's concern), I saved a story about a man who had to go on dialysis and he and his wife traveled a lot (even over seas). The story was about how he just made arrangements to have dialysis wherever he traveled. When you have medicare, I think you can have dialysis anywhere - you just make arrangements for a treatment before you travel.

I saved the story because Gary likes to travel also, and I wanted him to see that if he has to go on dialysis, it might cause a few more hassles, but it doesn't make travel impossible. I know what you mean though about your dad not really having the energy to travel much anyway. Gary is the same way - he gets sooo tired sooo quickly on trips. But he still wants to go so we try to do as much as possible.

Watching our parents age is not easy. One day it will be us, so I just try to store away all the lessons and ideas for when I need them :)

[Janet]

Paula....I know how worried you are....believe me. Dialysis really isn't so bad. Mom has been on dialysis since August 14th, she'll be 87 next month and was telling the nurse how to do it the right way while she was in the hospital....lol. It's a little confusing at first, but Mom hooks herself up every evening and unhooks every morning. She chose to do this because she didn't want to go on hemo. If she did that...she's have to go to dialysis 3 days a week for 5-8 hours. She isn't willing to give up that much of her time so she does it while she sleeps.

She can take her machine and supplies with her just about anywhere. She doesn't have congestive heart failure, but her heart has a bad valve so has to be monitored. She's not willing to have heart surgery at this age and the Drs. really don't recommend it.

I'm really sorry you have to go through this too, but I'm confident you'll be about to help without a problem. We do what we have to do. I'm here any time you need me.

[paula1961]

Thank you so much Janet. So your mom chose to do it at home. That is what has been reccomended to my dad but mom is afraid that she won't be able to understand how to do it(of course she thinks she will have to help). Us kids have tried to tell her that this would probably be the best route to take. We'll see. I did tell my mom about your mom and how well I thought she did with it from what you post. Mom is just worried and she's also stubborn, if she doesn't understand something right away she gets angry instead of trying to listen and learn. I think she is just afraid. Bless her heart too! Anyway I will let you all know what happens.

Gayle thank you so much. You always have the most encouraging things to say. I so appreciate that. You girls are wonderful people! Who would've thought that through the internet we would find such wonderful friends?:ghug:

[judy]

It is so hard to watch our parents get older, with their health problems. My dad had lung cancer, and it also broke my heart to see such a strong man broken down by an illness. My heart goes out to you.

I hope your Dad doesn't need dialysis. If he does, maybe you can reassure your Mom so that he can do it at home.

Prayers for all of you.

[Janet]

Paula, sometimes it's hard to explain things in writing, so I'm PM'ing you my phone number. If I'm not here, please leave your name and number and I'll call you back as soon as I can. I'll be glad to answer any questions you have about the dialysis.

I do want to tell you that at first...not only did Mom have a break down wondering 'why her', but I did too. There is so much information it can be overwhelming, but it all falls into place and then you wonder...'why did I think it was so hard'. I truly will be glad to help in any way I can.

[Janet]

Too much time elapsed for me to add this:

Here is a link to the kind of dialysis Mom is doing: http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/peritoneal/#how
When you scroll down....you'll see the picture of the machine and a person in bed.

[paula1961]

Thanks Janet! I will be sure to check out that link.

[paula1961]

I just talked to my mom. They just left the dr. he explained things to them in a way that they understand and they feel a bit better. The surgeon will now get with the cardiologist. Medications will have to be adjusted before this procedure. The shank will be put in for preparation of possible dialysis starting. Right now his creatin(spelling?) count is at 4. I think they may wait till it gets to 5 before starting dialysis. They want to put the shank in now so that they wouldn't have to try to filter his kidneys in an emergency situation and not be prepared which I think is a good idea. I think mom feels alot better about it now. They have chose to do the dialysis at home like Janet's mom is doing. Thank you all so much for your kind words and your prayers. Please keep praying for him and my mom.:) I will keep you informed as to what is happening.

[gja1000]

I'm glad things are looking better now! It doesn't take away the fact that your father's health is failing, but it certainly sounds like they are able to make some choices that are good for them.

[Blueyes]

It's so much better to be prepared. I hope everything goes smoothly for him!

[judy]

It sounds like his doctors are really great. It is good to know that he is in good hands.

Take one day at a time Paula. Like Janet said, things fall into place somehow.
Bless your heart.

[Janet]

Paula...Mom also has the fistula in her arm. It was put in first in case there would be an emergency before inserting the cath in her abdomen. It really does get easier.