Cabin fever

[judy]

I definitely have cabin fever! It finally stopped snowing, and was nice for a while. I got out and really enjoyed just being outside. Yesterday, I was going to go to Kingston to look for some pictures for my house at Home Goods. It was pouring, with flood warnings, so I stayed home.

I was so bored, and now I can see that I am depressed. I'm going out today, so hopefully, that will go away.

I had posted a while ago that I was going to see a psychologist because I was just not happy. I wanted to get off of one of my anti depressants, and to decide what I wanted to fill my life up. I want friends, and wanted to see if I really want a man in my life.

I have been going for 3 visits now, and really like him a lot. He thinks I am really emotionally healthy. Imagine that! I do not know when that happened!!!! He thinks that I am one of those people who likes to be alone a lot, and that that is fine. I have been making a couple of friends slowly, mostly from my writing group. Ev and I are going to go to some antique bookstores nearby, and they keep inviting me to join their non-fiction book club. I don't like non-fiction, but they don't seem all that fussy about whether you really read the book that carefully.

I decided that as far as a man goes, I'll decide when I try it out! I might really enjoy a man around, or I might not. Probably, a bit of both!

I also tabled getting off that anti depressant for now. I feel fine, and it is very hard to get off of this particular one. If I had known that, I would have asked for a different kind! Don't take Effexor! That is the addictive one. I'll decide about that later on. I will have to really plan it out and be willing to feel somewhat bad for a while. I can do it, but I don't want to start right now. It's a lot of work.

So, he says that I am doing what I need to do, cope very well, am emotionally very mature and healthy, and wishes that all of his patients were so healthy. He also feels that I had that seasonal affective disorder, from the long winter since I cheered up so much when the weather changed.

Can you imagine? Who knew?;)

[DianaB]

Judy, I'm so glad to hear that you're emotionally healthy!!! That's so nice to hear form someone who knows!! I would imagine that all of us are affected by the seasonal thing....just some are worse than others.

As for going off of your meds.....ask the doctor about going on something else that's not addictive, stay on it for awhile, then go off of that med. I was on something that after being on it for years I found out that it was really hard to do. I had tried on my own but couldn't do it. The new doctor that I went to changed my meds and that was one of them and I didn't have any problems, so yay, I'm off of that med and doing very well. That might be an option for you as well. Good luck!!

[Blueyes]

I'm glad you found a good doc to talk to. I would think it would be hard to be isolated in the winter like you have been. Take good care of you!

[paula1961]

So glad you're feeling better Judy! It has been a long winter and for alot of us, we couldn't even get out and go anywhere for days or even weeks on end. I would say the doc hit it head on about seasonal effective disorder. I think I probably have that as well.
It's awesome that he told you that you are emotionally healthy! Coming from a dr in his field, that would make me feel great!
I hope you can stop taking the addictive med soon. Just be careful and don't do it until you feel like you are ready.
I'm so glad that you are going to the antique shops with Ev.
So did ya go anywhere today?

[judy]

I did! I went to run my errands, and then decided to go to Kingston. I bought a beautiful oil painting for my bedroom from Home Goods. I bought a couple of picture frames and some bed pillows. I really couldn't afford any of it, but I bought them anyway. Home Goods has the best prices! The picture was $99, the pillows were 2 for $16.99, and the picture frame was 29.99. It's for a beautiful oil painting I bought last week. The painting cost less than the frame! I got some deal on it - $18.50!

I'll take pictures of the pictures and my car as soon as I remember. I keep forgetting to get a picture of the car. I would forget my head if it wasn't on my shoulders!

It is so nice to have a car I feel safe in!

[gja1000]

Judy! I'm so glad you got such positive feedback from you doctor! I hope things continue to look up for you! It sounds like you are doing all the right things to take care of yourself.

I think I'm one of those women who would be "manless" if/when Gary is gone. My mom has been widowed for 39 years and she never even looked twice at another man. I can't imagine myself with another man either. I REALLY like my alone time! Also, I prefer the company of women in general, and usually don't care to be around most of the men I know (except Gary of course). I can see where it might be nice to have an escort occasionally - but nothing permanent or even semi-permanent. My sister-in-law has been widowed for 32 years and although she has had some rather long term male friends from time to time, she has never remarried. She likes her freedom and I think I would too. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not looking forward to Gary being gone, I'm just talking hypothetically.

[judy]

That's the thing! I have so much freedom! But, I also haven't been in love for years now. Would being in love balance out giving up some freedom?

I just don't know!!!;););)

[gja1000]

I think it probably would - but it depends on how much you love. I think you can love someone and not give up your freedom - but that's just my opinion.