I'm Trying To Hang In There!

[Janet]

I hope I can get this typed. I'm so nervous right now and having a hard time not crying.

Yesterday started off pretty good, made a few posts here and then left for my bus route. When I got home I called my Mom like I do every morning to check on her. She sounded so bad, but luckily, my younger brother just happened to stop by. I called my older brother to help my younger brother get Mom to the ER. And then....afraid as I was about leaving Gidget...my Mom had to come first and I headed to the ER.

My Mom has kidney failure and is on home dialysis as you all know and also has congestive heart failure. She hooks herself up at night to go through her cycles and then unhooks of a morning. Mom let the line get contaiminated and now has peritonitis. It's a very bad and painful infection. They ran tests and found she also has some fungal infection too. I spent the entire day, until the afternoon bus route with my Mom. There were no subs to relieve me and well...that's a whole other story that I am totally pi$$ed about.

After the bus route my son was home (and very capable of whelping puppies) so I went back to the ER to be with Mom. I was able to bring her back to her house around 6:00 PM. She should be in the hospital, but refused. As much as I disagreed with her decision...I made sure she understood the consequences and then stood by her right to decide what she wants....it's her life.

She did well through the night and my older brother and sister-in-law are taking my Mom to the dialysis center this morning so I could stay home with Gidget. She is having a slight discharge so hopefully it's getting closer. Yesterday was her last due date. I still hear heartbeats thank God and there is a little movement. I really don't think it will be much longer, at least I hope not.

Thank you all for your prayers...I feel that between worrying about my Mom and Gidget I'm going to lose it. I just need to cry some more and get some sleep...too much going through my mind.

[Blueyes]

Oh Janet I'm so sorry about your mom! I wish she would stay in the hospital when she needs to. I understand that it's her choice...but it just puts more pressure on you.

I hope the puppies come today so at least that will be over :)

[DianaB]

Sometimes it seems that when it rains, it pours!! Everything seems to happen all at once and we just feel so overwhelmed. I'm praying for you and your Mom that all will be alright. Hugs!!!

[Lindsey]

Janet, my thoughts are with you and I'm praying not only for your mom but for you and your family to keep up your strength to be able to help her.

[judy]

I am praying for your Mom. Good thing she is not in Florida! Imagine having to go down there and get her! I agree with you about standing by her decision to go home, except that it is harder for you.

Gidget - please stop holding out on your Mama! Those puppies want out!!!

[gja1000]

I know you are overwhelmed now - it's so hard, especially with a head strong mom like you have - but I suspect you will have Ricky "barely hanging on" too, a few times in the future! LOL!

I hope things have settled down a bit!

[Janet]

Mom fell twice yesterday. Once at her house and then at my brother's house. They only know about the one at their house, she didn't tell them about the fall at her house. Her shoulder is pretty sore. Finally though...she has agreed to use the cane to help with her balance.

Well, I think I'm going to take a nap.....I have to take her to Lafayette to do the hemodialysis tomorrow and we have to be there by 6 AM. I'm definitely going to see if we can get that time changed.

[DianaB]

:hug:

[judy]

How is Gidget?

[lynne b]

Oh Janet, I am sorry you have to go through this, I hope your mom is doing better today, and i hope you were able to get some rest. How is Gidget doing?
I'm praying for you girl!!

[MaddieBoo]

Thinking of you and your family, Janet! You do such an amazing job of keeping your family together and taken care of. :hug:

[Shada]

Prayers are with you Janet. Your mother is such a strong soul. And stubborn!!
I can relate. My mom is the same. So hard to make them realize they are getting older and have to have help.
You are a good daughter.

[Janet]

Mom went out of her house yesterday morning to get the paper and stepping up on her porch...she fell off the step into her flower bed. She's okay...just sore. I am so surprised she hasn't broken a bone or have more brusing.

She had her first hemodialysis treatment yesterday and really doesn't like it much. So it's a good thing she can go back on the peritoneal home dialysis once the infection is cleared. Mom is getting so worn down, I just don't know how much longer she can take all this.

[DIANE W]

Ahh Janet I really feel for you going through all this with your mum. We just dont know what next day will bring do we?????

Just remember Janet you can only do what you can do...no more and no less, and dont forget to take care of you too.

I think your mum is such a wonderful, inspirational person, she is a little fighter alright - i dont know how she does what she does.

[paula1961]

Aww Janet......I so hope that your Mom is doing better. Hang in there..I am saying prayers for her.:)

[Gina]

Poor mom , I feel for her.. I hope that her infection clears up soon.. She is in my prayers and so are you.

[Marilyn]

Hope she is doing better now and getting stronger!!

[paula1961]

How's things with your Mom Janet? I sure hope she's doing better.

[Janet]

It's really so hard to tell with Mom sometimes. She tells everyone else she feels okay, but then will tell me 5 minutes later that she doesn't feel well. Mom has successfully completely two visits doing the hemodialysis, only thing is, this last time they had some trouble with the needles and Mom's arm is so bruised.

My younger brother took her to the dialysis center this morning and I went and picked her up since we are not allowed in the room with them and the other patients. As soon as I got there she came out (with the help of the nurse) and said..."I'm hungry". LOLOL. Didn't say 'Hi' or anything. So...we went to Denny's. She ate more than I've seen her eat in a long time.

Mom is moving so much slower, still very wobbly. We just take our time and enjoy.

Thank you so much for asking about Mom.

[Blueyes]

I think about you and your mom so much, Janet. Enjoy your time with her. She is so blessed to have you for her daughter, and I'm sure she knows it:)

[Janet]

Thank you Betsi and everyone!

[DianaB]

Maybe that meal will help her to perk up and be back to her ol' fiesty self!!! Hugs to both of you!!!

[gja1000]

You know, I think no news is good news! Hopefully, that means she is holding her own right now!

[Janet]

Mom is at dialysis right now. My brother took her today and I will take her on Saturday. I hope things go smoothly for her this morning. I'm just waiting to hear from her.

[judy]

No more nighttime dialysis? It's so good that your brother is helping you with your Mom.

I am praying for her.

[Janet]

Thanks all. Mom is not enjoying this hemodialysis at all. Seems to make her tired all the time. As soon as the infection is all healed and the replace the cath in her abdomen she can go back on the peritoneal dialysis at night. It will be 4-6 weeks though and she's already complaining. I know it's rough, but she is so negative about everything. If she could at least try to look on the brighter side until the 4-6 weeks is up, I think she'd feel better.

I will take her in the morning for her dialysis. I can't go in with her so I'm not sure if I'll come home or stay in Lafayette for the 3.5 hours. Maybe I'll try to sleep in my van or something.

[paula1961]

How far of a drive is it for you to just go back home? Sleeping in your van doesn't sound too safe Janet!!

I hope your Mom does okay tomorrow. I'm sure that she was more satisfied doing her dialysis at home but sometimes things happen and you just have to make the best of a situation that you're not happy with. My Mom is like that sometimes too. Can't seem to find positive in anything.

[Janet]

So far Mom has gone through 4 of the dialysis treatments. Except for being a little on the tired side....she seems to be doing okay. I took a nap in the car, (could have used a longer one..lol) and then at 7AM when the tire and lube at WalMart opened I had them fix a tire that had two nails in it. Then I went to a couple of garage sales on my way to PetSmart and then back to pick up Mom.

Her campers group is camping this weekend so she's going to go out and visit with them this afternoon. She's not taking her camper this time and may stay the night with a friend there. She really shouldn't be driving, but it won't be easy taking that away from her.

Sorry Paula..I forgot to answer your question...it takes about 30 minutes from Mom's house to get to the dialysis center.

[amandag159]

janet im just catching up on everything here, my heart goes out to you,, you must be a very strong woman with verything you do, slow down and take time for yourself soon, even if its only to sit in your garden for an hour.

take carexxx

[DianaB]

Hugs, Janet!!!