Nice "friend"

[Lindsey]

A lot of you might remember awhile ago I was having problems with my "friend" who was staying at my house every night because she's "secretly dating" my roommate. Well, it's still going on, she's been here every night since. I tell them to be quiet almost every night, and they usually listen. Anyways....
Last night I was talking to one of my best friends from back home. She asked me if I heard about this guy from our hometown, and I said no. I thought she was going to tell me he's getting married, or something about hockey... but no, she tells me he was in an accident. Now, I don't know him WELL, and we weren't friends, he's probably about 6 years older than me, but when you grow up in a town of 500 people you know EVERYONE. He had an after-school job working with my mom, his parents were the school janitors, his sister did my makeup for grad. So, last week he clipped a semi in his car. The car rolled and he was seriously injured. His leg was broken in 5 places and he had internal bleeding. He lost his leg, but he could be saved. BUT, he's a Jehovah's Witness and couldn't get a blood transfusion, so he died. I was in COMPLETE shock.
Not long after I found out, my "friend" messaged me on msn, saying she has the book I need for a school project. I told her don't worry about it right now, I was taking the night off homework. I told her what happened and how upset I was. I said I didn't feel like doing anything, and I was just going straight to bed, and I did.
An hour later, she walked into the house, woke up the dog, woke up me. She went straight downstairs and her and my roommate started playing music to cover up their sounds. They were laughing and giggling all night.
Today I went to school grumpy. I sat there and didn't say a word to anyone. She walked into the room and sat behind me and said "Hey Lindsey, I can see your bra strap!" I didn't even move. Class was cancelled so I went to put my books away and go home. Another girl came up and asked if I was feeling okay today, and I said yeah i'll be fine, and then my "friend" was like "yeah are you doing okay? are you still in shock?" pretending to be all nice and sympathetic in front of everyone else.
I don't know what to do about her anymore. I'm done here in 8 weeks and I'm counting down the days, but I don't know if I can go that long without just exploding.

[rivermom]

This is sad the lack of respect she has for you. Atleast you can see that it is only for 8 more weeks then you don't have to worry about her anymore.

She is lacking a lot of maturity right now, just try to avoid her and don't worry about her as much as you can. It seems she thinks the world revolves around herself.

I am soooo sorry about the loss of your hometown friend. :(

[Janet]

Are you paying rent? Divided by 3? I'm sorry but you are waaayyy more tolerant than I am. I would have taken her by the hair and thrown her a$$ out on the street. If that didn't work....I'd call the roommates parents and tell them to talk with their son....I have a bunch of "if that". I can't stand inconsiderate people who are fake.

Okay....that's my opinion....LOL

[Lindsey]

I'm actually paying more than half the rent! I think my roommate is a little more understanding now, he has told me that the last thing he wants is to keep me up all night. She just shows up and he doesn't want to tell her to leave.
She called a few times last night and I heard part of the last conversation... he said "It doesn't matter I guess. Do you really want to come over?" If my boyfriend said that to me there's no way I'd go over! Anyways, she also told me she hooked up with another guy while she was on a pubcrawl this weekend, and my roommate was on the pubcrawl with her. So basically, she's a slut, and she likes to brag about it.
The only reason I'm trying to be so patient is that I have to be in the same room as her 8 hours a day, and she's friends with my boyfriend's group of friends.

[Janet]

With friends like that....who needs enemies!!!! 8 weeks is a long time...I would tell him to get her out or he's out!!!

[Mandy]

With friends like that....who needs enemies!!!! 8 weeks is a long time...I would tell him to get her out or he's out!!!


I agree :thumbup: She's a "sorry excuse" for a friend!! Tell him to go to her place if they want to party all night!

[Willow]

I would definitely tell her to get out and I would tell my roommate that roommates are expendable. Especially if you are paying more than half the rent, then that means you have more than half the say so.

[Lindsey]

I guess I was just hoping they would get sick of seeing each other all day in school and all night at my house. Well, I guess HE has, but she's obsessive. At the start I just wanted to avoid a confrontation, but I got over that and talked to her so many times. My roommate is now seeing how much it bothers me, and tonight he's going out with a bunch of his friends so that she won't show up here. At least I hope she won't.

[Janet]

Well good luck....but I have to tell you...you are going to have to step up to the plate or you're going to have people walk on you your whole life. Start getting in practice now...... :)

[Lindsey]

I know, I'm really not good at standing up for myself. It took soooo much courage the first time I talked to her about it. I think if this were a situation like if we worked together and it would be long term, I would either tell my roommate to leave, or find a new roommate and I would be gone. But right now it's not worth it for the month and a half we're living here.
And even though they've known her for longer, my boyfriend and his friends are pretty much on my side about this whole situation, which makes me feel better about saying anything to her. Before I was just worried it would cause a big rift when everyone was getting together.
BTW, she did show up last night while I was on the phone in my room. I didn't even hear her come in, but when I brought the phone back out, there were her ratty old sandals at the front door. I let my dog chew on them a bit :D

[Lindsey]

So she was pumped all day about going out to a halloween cabaret tonight, and i was pumped all day about being able to do homework, with three reports due tomorrow, and maybe get some sleep. But before I knew it, she was walking right in the front door. I said "aren't you going out?" and she made a sad face and said "no, i have a headache. I think I'm starting to get sick." and I said "Well then, stay away from me." she rolled her eyes at me and said "yeah okay" and she went downstairs. I'm still getting over being sick from the last time she was sick.
My boyfriend called again tonight and I told him the situation again (and complained loud enough for both her and my roommate to hear), and he was like "You know what, if you want to get mad at her, just do it. It's not going to ruin anything with us or my friends. More than anything, we all just think she's really annoying, and what she's doing to you is just selfish and uncalled for."
I hope I have the courage to do this.

[Janet]

Good luck Lindsey! Don't worry about courage...just tell her "look, I have homework, studying, and things that I need to get done. If you're going to be here, then you need to help clean, cook...and HELP WITH THE RENT and then show her what her share is. That ought to scare her!

If you don't think that will work...just tell her flat out how you feel and tell her you want to keep her as a friend, but it won't happen if she doesn't give you space. Your apartment is YOUR space and make it clear.

[Mandy]

Sounds like your friend needs to use her common sense!! Doesnt she have homework to do or clean her place or anything?

Start countdown now Lindsey, your almost there! ;)

[Lindsey]

Well we both get about the same amount of sleep, but she just sleeps all day in school. There's NO WAY I could do that, so I come home after school and usually have a little nap, while she does her homework after school. Also, her project advisor isn't expecting as much of her as mine is of me, so I work on my project a LOT whenever I have a free minute, but she's barely touched hers. And when she's really behind, she just comes over and copies off my roommate.

[khardy57]

You're a better person than I am. This would've been hashed out a long time ago if it were me. You need to talk to her again and lay it on the line. I wouldn't worry about hurting feelings, because she's not worried about how her behavior is affecting you.

[Lindsey]

You're a better person than I am. This would've been hashed out a long time ago if it were me. You need to talk to her again and lay it on the line. I wouldn't worry about hurting feelings, because she's not worried about how her behavior is affecting you.

I wouldn't say "better", just more of a wimp! Before she told me she wouldn't compromise our friendship for anything, but that's definitely not how she feels now. This morning I was leaving for school at the same time she was leaving my house, and she just came upstairs, put on her shoes, and walked outside without a word to me. She made it to school halfway through first class, and my roommate didn't make it for the first two classes at all. Their grades aren't suffering because I just found out they both bought old assignments off past graduates and are just copying those for every class. So I hope they have fun in the real world.

[Lindsey]

GOOD NEWS! I feel like a horrible person for being so happy about this, but my roommate told her on Friday that he wants to stop "doing what they're doing" Soooooooo I'm going to sleep at night for the next 5 weeks! I was really starting to worry about what was going to happen at final exam time!

[Janet]

Good news for you....now throw away the alarm clock and get a much needed rest! :)