Advise

[butterfly]

I'll try to keep this as short as possible.. I've been married to my hubby for a long time now and right now I kind of feel trapped in a sense. Everytime I bring up the subject of getting a job he tells me that I dont need one, and when I mention going to college he says not right now at least wait till our youngest goes to school. This isnt going to happen for four more years. Sadly the hightlight of my week has been going to the store, besides that Im here in this house. Sometimes I feel like this is how he wants it. What do I do?

[Necee419]

I am so sorry you feel this way. If it is really bothering you, my advice is that you talk to your husband about it. Tell him how you feel and make sure he understands that you love being a wife and mother but that you need something for you as well. Maybe he feels threatened by your need to do something outside the house. Express to him that you just need an outlet where you can do something different. Maybe you can get a part time job or take 1 class so that he can see that you getting a life outside of the house wouldn't interfere with your responsibilities at home. I think if he truly cares about you, he will want you to be happy. Good luck to you!! :)

[magnolia]

I agree! Another avenue you might want to check into, depending on what you want to go back to school for, is long distance learning via the internet. A lot of schools these days offer on-line classes. This might be the "happy medium" for both you and your husband - you get to start school again and he's happy in knowing your at home with the youngest. By the time the youngest starts school, you might have all your basics under your belt or possibly even finishing up towards your degree - he/she starts school, you start work:) Something to consider maybe.

[blowry]

I do understand where you are coming from but, you are very lucky that your husband wants you home with your child. So many people need 2 incomes today and the children end up in daycare from the start. Maybe you could do something at night? just to get you out of the house and with adults.

[Janet]

All of the advice offered makes really good sense. My only advice is, don't let your self be isolated. You have got to take care of yourself and be happy or no matter what you do, you'll still feel trapped.

[hle_625]

I agree with everyone else, maybe online classes would be great for you! And by the time that your little one is ready for school you will be ready for work! I would talk to your hubby and let him know that you really need to get out of the house sometimes and maybe just once a week you could go out with some girlfriends!

[Elaine]

Hi, I agree with all of the above....plus do you need a 2nd income or is it you just need time away for yourself? I worked till we had our 1st child, then he wanted me to stay at home, so I did, and I love being home with the kids, but.....I always make time for me.....I visit my mom, and g/f....sometimes it is spur of the moment....hey I'm goin to moms or hey I'm goin to Marisa's ok with you? he says Go have fun.......If I wouldnt have those times where I go do something away from the house, I dont think I would be very happy. Decide what it is you need more money or just time away..then sit down with him and have a nice long talk about your needs. .......

[Kimberley]

hmmm...when I want to do something, I just go out and do it. When I don't want to do something, I don't. This kind of relationship has worked well in my marriage. But, I'm married to someone that is layed back.

How much of your life are you suppose to sacrifice? You need to do something that YOU want to do for once. JMO

[Jlynn]

if you want to stay home, stay home. But if you want to do something else, I think you need to do it. In my marriage, I make my own choices and so does he. Can't imagine waiting around for him to decide it's time for me to do something different with my life.

[Janet]

if you want to stay home, stay home. But if you want to do something else, I think you need to do it. In my marriage, I make my own choices and so does he. Can't imagine waiting around for him to decide it's time for me to do something different with my life.


I agree 100%. I don't mind discussing things with my hubby, but ultimately, I make my own decisions. I like being home, but I don't want to be stuck here. If I decide I want to do something I do it. I will never be under anyone's thumb!!:)

[Mandy]

Make sure you have your own life, and make your own decisions!! Go out and do things, even if you just go into town and treat yourself to a cup of coffee or meet other people.
Communicate with him, and let him know you are your own person, he probably has no clue how your feeling. Men need to be told these things ;)

Good luck!