Janet
03-07-2011, 04:21 PM
So many of you have little ones or grandchildren so I thought you'd like this.....
Children's thoughts on older relatives
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her
young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick
and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet
paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about
kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me
how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he
asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a
droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more
and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her
head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As
she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was
THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was
like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung
from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish
I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you
and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we
alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She
told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she
replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test
her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the
door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors
yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off
until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed
us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the
mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a
little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you
make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy
wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad
aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said
the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a
fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the
argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the
airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her
visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get
to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they
blame their dog.
Children's thoughts on older relatives
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her
young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick
and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet
paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about
kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me
how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he
asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a
droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more
and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her
head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As
she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was
THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was
like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung
from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish
I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you
and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we
alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She
told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she
replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test
her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the
door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors
yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off
until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed
us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the
mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a
little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you
make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy
wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad
aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said
the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a
fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the
argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the
airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her
visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get
to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they
blame their dog.