This had to crack me up the most! I've only been married 4 1/2 yrs so my words aren't quite that extreme but the snoring just drives me nuts!! Have you ever tried the throat spray "Snore-eze" ? I keep it by the bed side and when my husband is really sawing wood I turn on the light, make him open his mouth wide and spray the heck out of his throat!! It seems to work!