See Pope, that is one thing we won't agree on. We have been here as a group and have set our standards and have maintained a level of behavior that is hard to find online. I've been at many different sites, I've worked at 3... I really do know more than I care to about what else is "out there". So do the others, and this is WHY we've chosen to stay here. Not that we feel we're any better than others, but we are just not into the mainstream site behavior. Yes, it's true that people have the right to conduct themselves however they see fit, but it's also true that we have the same right to not participate in it if we choose not to. So this has become OUR site.

We welcome new members if they are interested in a community like ours, but we don't roll over and play dead while they run over us. I started here later than many of the senior members, and I stayed because I found them to be a warm and wonderful group to be friends with. But I joined with the intention of joining them... not "fixing' them.

Here again it's OUR wrong doing according to you. :(
We didn't jump into your circle and start demanding anything of you. YOU all came here... We welcomed you and would like to be able to be friends, but we shouldn't have to feel we have to run and hide because someone new hasl arrived!

It's different when people come slowly and one or 2 at a time. When you come here already an obvious clique and start overpowering those who are already here, you should expect we're going to protest. It's hard to get to know anyone individually when you've arrived enmass. Given time I'm sure it will gt easier, but it seems each time there's a disagreement, more new people hop in to back up whoever is trying to "teach" us... so it's hard not to feel attacked.

i get a definite vibe that people here want to "fix" and exclude, and that's not something i enjoy, so i will vacate.

Well it is very clear now, I definitely don’t belong on this forum. I like to have fun, speak my mind, be opinionated, get to know people, learn about others opinions and views, I like to learn from others and have them learn from me…that is, after all, how we grow as people. This site is clearly not the place for that. There are some very closed minds on this site, but you all clearly enjoy it that way and enjoy each other, so I will also vacate.

I joined this forum based on an email I got from a friend who had joined here and liked it. When more people started finding out about it as well, we actually all talked about being concerned about how ya'll would feel about so many people joining at once. We honestly didn't want to overwhelm ya'll. So honestly, we were all trying to keep your feelings in mind when we joined, we truly were.

I for one was really enjoying the atmosphere here and thought it would be a neat forum to be a part of. But then there was that religious thread. I think I said something to the effect of reincarnation and someone responded with "There is NO reincarnation" and put the 'no' in caps. Ya'll say this is such a mellow forum where no one judges, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If people don't judge people here, then why didn't that person put, "I personally don't believe in reincarnation, I believe....." Instead they worded it in a very direct, 'you're wrong' sort of way. I don't think that thread was meant to ridicule anyone's beliefs by any means. Just that, and I'm just speaking for myself here, I had noticed that God was mentioned a lot in many of the responses on this forum. So maybe the OP was just trying to get a feel of everyone's beliefs since religion was brought up so much? I don't think it was meant in a hurtful way.

And the same thing with this thread. It talked about breeding and whatnot, but when someone said something (that still pertained to the original subject matter) it all of a sudden wasn't okay. I could understand if a newbie started a pet thread and was told that those issues should be discussed elsewhere, but an older member started this thread. So us newbies assumed it was okay.

Or, as it was brought to my attention, someone brought up Harry Potter books in a general section or something. I guess another member didn't feel comfortable with a book being discussed outside the book area. But she had responded in someone else's thread about the book they were reading, and that thread wasn't in the book section either but she didn't seem to have a problem with that thread.

And I personally have tried to respond to other people's threads and not just the group of friends I already knew. But in all honesty, I noticed that a lot of the older members weren't responding to the threads of a lot of the new members either. So it goes both ways.

I can see how ya'll would think of this as your forum, as I have one that I feel that way as well. I get protective of the members because they are my dear friends. I can see how you wouldn't want to upset the balance ya'll have created. But if you alienate people along the way, it comes across as really exclusive. And if it were a private forum, that would really make sense. But since it's public, can you sort of see how it's easy for some of us to get confused when some things are allowed sometimes, and not others?

Apparently, I missed all the fuss. Hope things can settle down a bit and all who want to try to work on our site and our relationships will stay and try.

since this thread is supposed to be about Canada being Preggo... i started another thread where we can discuss everything else that is going on in the forum... have a wonderful day everyone!!!

http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/sho...4399#post54399