Lynsey.......I believe in miracles! I will continue to pray for Layla's full recovery. Be strong sweetie. I know you must be mentally and physically exhausted.
I have been away but I did check in a couple of times and saw your thread. I have been praying for Layla, you and Scott.

Thank you so much Paula. So many people care about her, so many people are praying, I am begging for a miracle!

I am going nuts and I can't function at all. I just need to try to stay positive because I know negative energy could hurt her recovery.

Ohhhhhhhh Lindsey I read about Layla from your posts on FB. I am soo sorry to hear what she is going through. I have her in my prayers and you and Scott also. If this is any help as to know what your feeling. Believe me I know Gucci had liver shunt surgery when she was 2 yrs. old and I cried like a baby. Please believe that she will get better.. Positive energy is essential along with prayers.. You will see she will recover.. hugs sweetie...

I am worried that Scott and I won't make it through this together.

Why not?

It's so hard. I've been with her 24 hours a day since she got home and I feel like I'm alone because Scott is doing other things he thinks need to get done like rearranging furniture so we can watch movies better, or vacuuming the ceiling fans or whatever and then tells me I can't just let the house fall down around me because Layla is sick. Then last night he said I need to pay more attention to him, and I said Layla is my biggest concern right now. He said I'm obsessed with trying to convince myself she'll get better.

This morning I tried to have a few seconds of normalcy by checking my email after I got ready for work, so I left Layla alone for a minute and as soon as he saw me he yelled "WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT ON YOUR COMPUTER THAN TAKING CARE OF LAYLA?!" and I yelled back saying he told me not to spend all my time with her, and then I ran to Layla and collapsed on the floor and bawled beside her. On the way to work I was asking if he remembered to pack blah blah blah for her and he assured me he went through the whole list I made last night. We got here and he didn't pack anything for her to take her pills with, except an apple slice that I can't hide pills in. I called him and asked how he gave her pills with an apple slice, there was sandwich meat on the list and he said he would pack everything. And he got angry and hung up on me. So I was left all alone trying to feed Layla her pain killers and crying at work trying to get anything down her throat.

I am just feeling SO ALONE. I am her only caretaker, and I was awake with her until 4 am while he slept, and I have to be with her all day and give her the meds and make sure she's happy and comfortable while still getting work done. I love her and I don't resent her at all but I am just spreading so thin, I am exhausted, I am not eating, and I am getting sick myself. When I try to lean on Scott and try to get hope that she will be okay and this is all for SOMETHING, he tells me I'm stressing him out and bringing him down.

I feel like my life is falling apart.

I can't speak for all men but.....I just don't think that most of them would completely understand how we feel about our babies(skin and fur). Women have a maternal side that most men just don't have. I'm sure that Scott loves Layla and maybe he is just dealing with his feelings in a different way than you. I certainly hope that you guys can get through this together Lynsey. You two have been through alot together. I will continue to pray for you Scott and Layla. I think about you everyday and I know that you are heart broken. I hope soon that things are back to as normal as they can be given your situation. Try to stay strong girl. Layla is soooooo worth what you have done and are still doing for her. Hugs to you Lyns.:hands::hug:

Thank you Paula. He said he will use his lunch break to pick up some meat and drive it over for her pills this afternoon. I know he really loves both of us.

Ahhh Lindsey I am so upset for everything you are going through, and baby Layla.....

I think he must be feeling a little bit neglected (I know he shouldn't and needs to be supportive), in my experience most men are not good with coping with illness and crisis, I personally think he is being a little selfish, but i am sure deep down he really doesnt mean to. Sometimes how a person is behaving and the affect it has on others are not always obvious.

It is difficult for any couple trying to get through times like this, it just needs working out. But i know it is very hard for you, and i totally understand how you must be feeling..... like you are doing it all alone.
Maybe you do have the very strong maternal bond with Layla that he doesnt have, even though i am sure he loves her very much.

Take care I hope this all works out well for all of you, stress makes people say and do unpleasant things at times, I am sure once you get through it you will be a stronger couple

Sending you all a big hug... especially darling Layla.

Welcome to how men deal with a crisis!!! It is very normal for a couple to fight when there is stress, and you both have a lot! You bought the house, and just moved in, and now Layla needs to recover.

If you can, try to remember how much he does love you and Layla. (Just look on FB at his picture kissing her). The reality is that nobody is there for you, or on the same page as you are 100% of the time. You don't really need him to lean on. You are quite strong on your own. He is there, he loves you both, and is doing his best. I would say he is a stand up guy.

If he starts to complain, or yell, don't answer if you can do that. Less is best, and he may just not realize he is just taking his stress on the nearest person around.

Thank you. I know he is sorry and he loves us a lot. He is doing so much for Layla even if it's not just being with her all the time like I am. He's setting up appointments for therapy and he arranged for us to pick up a second-hand crate for her tonight after work, and he's really just doing so much extra so that I won't have to do it. I need to remember things like that.

Hi Lindsay, I'm so sorry all this is happening. It is such a big change right now for all of you.

Please try to remember that it will NOT always be this stressful. You WILL get into a routine and life will become more normal, albeit, changed.

This always happens when a health crisis occurs, even with humans, or our children. It seems like the whole world is crashing down around us and in some ways, it is.

But you will make a new way, and Layla's health will become a part of your life, not your whole life. It will take time for the adjustment to occur, but it will occur, and whatever happens with Layla, whether she gets better or stays the same, you will integrate it into your life and will not be as overwhelming as it is right now. You will learn exactly what to do, when to do it, and you will have a set routine that works.

Think of parents or spouses who go through this with their children or husband/wife - it is completely overwhelming and devastating. It is so stressful and people think they can't cope - but 99% of the time, they can cope and they come through the experience better and stronger for having gone through it.

You will be fine - I KNOW it doesn't seem like that right now, but you will be fine. You need to connect with someone who has gone through this with a pet. You need to try to be able to call or connect with them on a regular basis. It will help you to talk with people who have been through it and who are doing just fine. They will validate that your feelings are normal (and they are) and they will be able to give you hope that you can cope (and you can).

I'm not minimizing what you are going through - at all. It is one of the most traumatic things you have ever delt with. But you will get through it. You are a strong, smart, and resourceful woman.

I wish I were there to give you a big HUG!

Lindsey I agree with the other girls.. You and Scott have been through a lot , between the move and Layla its taking an emotional toll. Most men do not know how to cope with sickness and my husband is one of them.. We are women and like Paula mentioned we have maternal instincts , we do best at it. Try not to fight and just over look his frustrations thats what they are and he is acting out on it. He feels helpless that he cannot help Layla in her condition and is afraid as you are... Gayle hit it on the head you are both overwhelmed and in time all will fall into place..

Get some rest and just give Layla love and please don't put up a barrier with Scott try to understand where he is coming from.. It's not easy, you both need to be there for Layla and each other... hugs to you...

You've been given wonderful advice Lindsey. I don't have anything to add except that I love you and am praying for you all.

All I know to do is give you a hug, (((((((((((Lindsey)))))))))))))

Thank you all. We have both just been so upset and frustrated lately, and it came to a head. He came at lunch to bring a package of meat, and he had to run out quick but he told me he loved me, and he already did the rest of our grocery shopping too so we could leave right after work. I love him.

We got Layla a crate tonight and she seems pretty happy in it. We also stopped at the vet here on our way home so she could see Layla. Her husband was there too and he kept saying how Layla was so sweet and had such kind eyes. The vet said "I know, I have to keep asking why it had to happen to THIS dog" but she is still praying for her recovery. She also did a urinalysis because we have been worried about the darkness and odor of Layla's pee... I know it's not like her normal pee. When we called the hospital they said don't worry, but I'm glad we got this urinalysis done because it turns out she does have a slight bladder infection. I knew it. And the vet quickly found out for us after her clinic was already closed. Did I mention I love this town?

On the advice of another yorkie owner from the city (on YT) I got a second opinion about Layla's recovery and therapy and was told that right after surgery is a great time for acupuncture because it helps rebuild connections as the spine is healing itself. So I made an appointment for tomorrow. Right now the bath tub is full and I'm going to go do some water therapy with Layla before finally getting to bed. I have an alarm set for midnight to give her more medication.

This is a full time job right now!

I am feeling exhausted physically and emotionally. I took her to acupuncture this morning and she loved it and relaxed and fell asleep. Now we're at work and she's asleep in her crate beside me but every time I look at her my heart breaks. I am not getting any real work done and there's a lot of pressure because I'm the only drafter here and people need their drawings done for reports that are due and I just can't concentrate.

I hope that the acupuncture works I hear that it is good I was thinking of going for acupuncture myself. Lindsey you are such a good mommy.. I didn't realize that you bring Layla to work, I haven't been on much and didn't know that you moved from the condo.. I imagine you do not live close to your mom or anyone who may be able to help out. It is tough working and taking care of Layla, you have a nice boss who allows you to bring her to work with you. I know it is very emotional and exhuasting since you are not sleeping well. Isn't there anyone who you can trust to relieve you during the day a little? Your job is important to and knowing how expensive surgery and their care is you cannot jeopardize your job. Your in a hard place.. I keep you in my prayers and pray that better days are coming..

Thank you Gina. I asked permission to bring her to work so I could do her exercises with her during the day. I have nobody near who is willing to take her for the day, except the vet. She let us know she would take her any time as long as we let her know ahead so she'll make sure she's around to express her bladder etc, so her techs don't have to. And that will also cost money of course. I am not near my parents, and my mom hasn't even made an effort to see my new house yet, even though my dad has come in and my mom decided just to stay home instead.

The only other person around is my grandma, but she has a busy life herself and I would not want to put this burden on her. I am still finding it really hard to express Layla's bladder and I know if my grandma couldn't do it, she would just feel terrible.

I figured we're going to be spending about $1000 a month for her physical therapy and acupuncture. We already spent thousands on the surgery. But this is my baby and I love her more than life. I need her to heal and will do whatever it takes.

Lindsey....I have no other advice for you....the ladies here can't be topped, their advice is wonderful. Instead...know that You and Layla are in my prayers.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the right time to find out that Scott took another girl on a date a week and a half ago to an event I decided at the last minute not to go to. So he decided at the last minute to invite another girl to go with him and not mention a word of it until today. I feel sick.

NO!!! What???? There is probably a completely rational explanation for this. Oh Lindsey, I wish I could come up there and help you!

His friends do this stupid awards thing and it's a very formal event and I was so tired I couldn't go but he decided he would still go alone. I spent the night cuddling with Layla on the couch and going to bed early while texting him wondering when he'd be home because the roads were icy. He just asked me today how Saturday is going to work out because this girl wants to take him out to eat Saturday night as a thanks for taking her to those awards with him. And she's not part of that group, he invited her at the last minute to go with him. And now he asks if he can see her Saturday night if I'd be okay with Layla because he'd really like to go. I don't know what to do. I am just numb. He's trying to call me at work but I don't want to get into this in front of my coworkers. I'm trying to stay calm. I don't know him.

Yes you do know him. Just ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed. How would HE like to stay home Saturday while YOU went out on a date?? This is just crazy. He knows how upset you are about Layla. What is he thinking?

No idea.

I think that you've had some wonderful advice......I'm here to give you a hug :hug: and Layla a hug :hug: Oh.....and Scott a hug :hug:

So many people right now are telling me that it would be best to just put Layla down. I can't even listen to them. My heart is so broken.

Good Grief!! She just had surgery and she needs time to heal! As long as her pain is controlled and she's not suffering, there is no reason for her to be PTS. But if the time DOES come, you will know it...YOU are her mommy.

Thank you. Even a friend who has been praying for us told me that. She has a dog of her own who is like her baby and she said she would put him down. I said even if he still licked your face every morning? Even if he still knew his commands and would sit or lay down when you asked him to? Even if he had life in his eyes? If he got excited for treats? And if he would do what he could to spend every moment by your side? And she said, yes. I don't know if we still have her prayers.

I know I might be reaching but I've made an appointment with a woman who does all sorts of healing. I actually met her the last time I went to the spa last year, she works there and was just filling in with massage, pedicure, manicure, etc. But what she usually does is reiki and other types of healing therapies. On her website she has a lot of testimonials from people who apparently have gotten over pain and illnesses with her help, and she claims to be able to feel energy flows through her hands and she is communicating with the Creator, and this allows her to help heal wounds and ease pain. I am a bit skeptical I'll admit, but I feel like we meet every person in life for a reason. She happened to give me a pedicure, and talked a lot about her practice, and out of nowhere she popped into my head yesterday. Why not give it a try? It's even cheaper than an acupuncture treatment. We may take Layla right to her house on Saturday morning.

I have also heard a lot about chiropractors. The vet at the university said it's not a good idea, but our vet in town said she is a big advocate of chiropractic care, and it's the only reason she's walking. I've heard from a lot of people saying it has cured their paralyzed dogs, even when they were told surgery was their only option. I found one canine chiropractor in the city and emailed her just for some information.

There is NO way that I could even consider putting that baby down. Like Betsi said..the poor little thing just had surgery. She hasn't hardly even had time to start healing yet. For pete's sake..I do not understand for the life of me how some people can be so damned heartless! Makes me mad:mad:

Lynsey I hope there is a very good explanation for what Scott did. You certainly don't need anymore pressure and stress in your life right now. Hugs headed your way!

Thank you Paula. Scott and I have a lot of talking to do tonight.

Good luck Lindsey..... I hope he can explain his actions to you so that you are satisfied.... not happy with it, but just satisfied. This is just the last thing you need right now!!!!!

I just dont know what to say........ well i do but i am going to refrain, you know him the best and you will know yourself what to say.

You are in such a difficult place Lindsey..... I am so sorry for what you are going through, we just never know what life is going to hit us with.

Try to keep positive, I dont think i can advise you about Layla, it is just so so sad, I am praying for you all and thinking about you every day.

In my sensible head i can sort of see the reasons why people have been suggesting letting Layla go, but it is very early days ... but in my heart wow thats a different thing altogether.

I think you are doing brilliantly, and are very brave too.

Take care of yourself, and baby Layla too.

Thank you Diane. I am trying my hardest to keep hope in my heart and pass that to Layla because she can sense when I'm sad and that affects her too. She still has a 50% chance of walking again, and that is better than nothing.

Layla's already had the surgery and you've been told that it takes a few weeks before you'll know anything. I wouldn't give up hope yet....it's too early. Don't let anyone discourage you at this point. As for other treatments....I'd just wait and see if the surgery's going to work. You can't speed up the healing process.

That's what I think, too. I think all of the alternative medicines might be just overload her right now. Just do exactly what the vet says, and give her little body a chance to heal.

I agree with all the others that it's way to early to decide Layla's fate. She has to have time to heal and that can not be rushed. I would wait on the other type of care if it were me. She needs to heal first.

As for Scott......well....I just won't even go there right now. You and Layla are in my prayers Lindsey.

This might be a good time to only talk to people who are supportive of what you are doing. I found that out when my father had cancer. Well meaning people said the most awful things to me.

I went to a website last week where they say there is no reason for putting a dog with disc degeneration down. It's just not that kind of disease. If she isn't in pain, or suffering at all, why put her down? That's just to make the dog owner's life easier.

My daughter has MS. She has certain limitations, but she has made her quality of life probably better than many other people. She is not disabled. If Layla could talk, she would say that she is fine as long as you are around.

These people are rather selfish! Don't even concern yourself with their advice. You know in your heart what to do.

As far as Scott goes, that man needs a good yelling at!!! You do not date other people in a committed relationship!

The vet is advocating the physical therapy and acupuncture. Layla has another acupuncture treatment this afternoon. I am going to hold off on the chiropractor for weeks to see if there's any improvement without it. As for the reiki, quantam touch thing, we are going to see the lady on Saturday morning after Layla's acupuncture. She lives right near the vet so it's not out of our way, and we will just be sitting there with Layla while she works on her "life energy" and stuff. I don't really get it. But it's nothing that's going to hurt her, so I'm willing to try. I'm probably going to look back in a few years and think I was off my rocker but it's not that expensive and even if there is no "energy" I am sure she will tell us good news and give us something to believe in, and right now I just really need something to believe in to keep my spirits up.

My cell phone died in the night so my alarm didn't go off at midnight to give her pill. I was so upset with myself this morning.

Oh, and about Scott.... he didn't think I'd be upset, because he has hung out with her lots before (when I know about it, obviously). I've always been a bit uneasy around her because she always calls him to hang out or to talk about her boy problems or whatever... I have only been out with her once (she came out for Halloween with us) but every other time has just been them. I just get an uneasy feeling with her. Especially when she tells him to tell me things like "I hope you're not mad I'm with your boyfriend for tonight" :(

I've never told Scott I was uneasy with it though. He asked her to go as a friend, but to me it looks like a date because it was a formal event and she didn't know anyone there but him. He didn't mention it because he didn't think it mattered.

I told him if he sees her on Saturday and leaves me at home with Layla, that he'd better not come home again. That scared him and he is not going. He said he would rather be at home with his family. He loves me and Layla and he doesn't want to hurt us, and he can't live without us.

Hmmm......somehow I missed the "other girl" thread. I think that in Scott's eyes it was innocent but he still shouldn't have done it.....but in the other girl's eyes it was an open door. Scott needs to put a stop to it now if he wants to continue with you. I'd let him know how much it hurt you and ask how he would feel if you'd done something like that and invited a guy friend. Guys can be so dumb sometimes especially when it comes to things that hurt us. They really don't have a clue sometimes!!!