I didn't no enough to post anything today. Glad to see you're all active. I've had a nagging headache all day, probably not drinking enough water. Back to work tomorrow!

Got up this morning and just didn't feel like staying home. I fixed Mom and Ricky a nice breakfast and then Ricky was off to work. Then Mom and I went to her house. She can't really walk much anymore so waited in the car while I ran in and picked up her mail. Then we went to Wal Mart. I thought Mom needed a change of scenery so we picked up a few meds and then I we just kind of went through the store.....me pushing her in her wheelchair. It really wore her out....maybe it was the short time in the heat..I'm not sure, but she came home and went straight to bed.

She did have a friend come to visit with her for about 45 minutes or so. As soon as she left...Mom wanted to go back to bed. I mostly just loafed around the rest of the day just enjoying it. Then.....Rick came home from his weekend trip....:lolol Oh well....I knew it wasn't going to last.

I can understand Janet, sometimes I just can't stay at home either - and I'm gone out to work almost everyday - crazy! But you definitely need to get out of the house - I think one gets housitosis when you are cooped up too long. :D

I've been enjoying watching the birds in the backyard over the weekend. I kept the feeders full so they birds were thick. They empty the feeders in about a day (4 feeders) so I can't keep them full everyday or I'd go broke. LOL! Mom really enjoyed watching the birds too when she was over on Thursday and Friday. I feel very lucky to have a wonderful backyard with so many pretty birds.

Just wondering what kinds of birds come visit you... I have feeders up for the Hummingbirds and Gold Finches and that's all. We do see others now and then but I'm really not bird person.

I'm sure that your Mom enjoyed the birds. We have feeders outside of our living room windows and enjoy seeing the birds in the winter but we don't feed them in the summer. There are plenty of other things to eat at this time so they really don't need fed. I do enjoy watching them though.

This morning I was sitting in my chair that has an ottoman and Karley made a big jump to sit down on the ottoman and hit my little toe. I think that she may have broken it!!! I heard a pop and it hurts like the dickens!!! It's a little bit swollen and I can see some bruising. I was NOT very happy with her. She acts like the house is a jungle gym and I get really tired of it. Some things are going to change around here!!!!

I sure hope that it doesn't bother me while I swim or I'm not going to be happy. At Lloyd's that's what we do.....is swim but it should be a little better by then.

Karlie did apologize to me but actually it was the second time that she had jumped on me. I'll be glad when things get a little more settled because everyone seems to get moody........me included.....and I'm tired of it!!!!

I'm so ready to go to Lloyd's this weekend. Some of my cousins are going to be there and I really enjoy being around them. I think that Glen's going to go on over to Beaver Lake and get his Scuba Certification. His instructor was from Joplin and with the tornado he hadn't bothered to contact him about getting certified but I think that this is one of the weekends that was planned. Beaver Lake is near where we'll be so it will work out well for us.

Hope you have a good time at Lloyds.

Diana, sorry about your toe. Karley must be so confused with all the changes she's had in her short life.

I had a regular Monday, having a blast with match.com. Might meet one guy at a coffee shop in a couple days ... Probably won't. Just want some male conversation, NOTHING ELSE

Oh Diana, I wish we were going to Beaver Lake!!! It is so beautiful there. We missed going this year due to the high water in our campground.

Janet, I'm just getting into bird watching, so I don't know some of the birds I see. We have lots of mourning doves, cardinals, mocking birds, house finches, yellow finches, sparrows, and some birds I don't know the names. I got a bird identifier for the iPad but haven't had time to really investigate. Yesterday I saw what looked like a cardinal, but it had an orange beak, orange top knot, and a greenish breast with brownish tail feathers. When I looked it up, it was a female cardinal. I had never seen one like that, it was very interesting. I also saw a fat little black, grey and white bird yesterday. It was so interesting looking and had very distinctive markings, but I haven't looked it up yet. We also had a pair of blue jays yesterday. I've seen the male before but both were here yesterday. I have a hummingbird feeder up but I only see a hummer about once every two weeks or so. I saw one Saturday and again Sunday. I wish they'd come around more.

Today has been a horrible day. Didn't do much because the PT came for Mom. Mom was weak when he got here and didn't want to do anything, he showed very little compassion and it made me a bit angry. Mom got through the exercises, but it wore her out and made it hard for her to catch her breath. After being on the meds to raise her BP...after the exercises it was still only 109/55.

She ate very little for lunch. My niece came out to bring Mom a small lap quilt she had someone make for her. It is so pretty and Mom really loves it. We then started talking about her shower and that she was going to have it remodeled. I showed her a shower stall that I had seen and thought of her. It wouldn't work for her bathroom she said. I asked her if she really needed to remodel the shower because of a leak.....that her Mom and Dad said it was because she gets out and shakes her hair and water everywhere. Well....I stuck my foot in my mouth again! I asked her to tell me more about her ideas and she said "no" that she had to go. She hugged Mom and left. I was following her out the door to ask what was wrong and that we should talk and she said she didn't want to talk....got in her car and left. This niece is in her 30's.....35 I think.

It had me so upset all evening and the tear just fell. My eyes still feel very swollen from crying so hard and for so long. Rick came home and just as he did I heard Mom yelling for me. It made me a bit angry because she is always yelling for me and I said "quit your damn yelling, I'm coming". Well....she got out of bed to get on the commode and her feet slipped out from under her. I yelled for Rick to come help me get Mom off the floor. He comes in and gets on his knees!!!!! I said "what the sam h-ll are you doing? You can't pick someone up on your knees". Rick always makes a bad situation worse because he has no common sense.

I got Mom on to the commode but by then it was too late. She was on the commode and also throwing up in the waste basket. So not only did I have a crap mess on the floor, her and the commode, I had to clean up vomit as well.

When I got it all cleaned up and I went to the kitchen, Rick decided to tell me he was tired of getting yelled at all the time. I told him I was tired of yelling at him for no common sense and since he was unhappy and I was unhappy we should just get the marriage overwith. I really don't remember much what was said after that because I zoned out. He did say he wanted to make it work. I told him I didn't know if it was possible and he started in saying there was too many 'things' in the house meaning Mom, that we had no privacy. I didn't know we needed privacy!

I just know when my brother Jerry and his wife come out tomorrow to give Mom her Epogen shot that something will be probably said about Dusti (my niece, their daughter). I told Mom it seems I'm alienating everyone and if she wanted to see people she should go live somewhere else. I'm so tired. Tired of all the drama, the work and life period! I honestly don't know if I want to wake up in the morning. It's all just too hard. I'm so unhappy!

I am so sorry your day went so badly, Janet!

Is there a social worker, or a counselor you could go to talk, or maybe find a support group of caretakers? It sounds like the stress is getting really hard to deal with by yourself. Finding some ongoing support would be nice for you.

By the way, I think your niece acted like a child. She is an adult, and so what if her parents said that? It's her shower, and she can do whatever she wants. It was awfully nice of her to bring the quilt though.

It rained yesterday, and I was so glad! We needed the rain, and I needed to stay home for a day. The sun has been so hot at the pool.

I also needed a day to myself. I truly love my summer friends, but I am finding that I am getting really bored with the pool every day. We did have a book discussion group last night, and that was very nice. We discussed "Sing You Home," by Jodi Picoult. She is a formula writer, who I would never read, except for this group. She does discuss interesting, current topics, but is a very lazy author. This book is about gay parents and that is really current. She also talks about music therapy, which is very interesting. I just started "What Alice Forgot," for our next discussion. Looks good!

I am going to my writers' group on Thursday. They all really liked my story, which made me feel wonderful! These are amazing writers, and most of them have had their work published, so when they like my writing, I feel goooood!

Today will be another pool day, which will be nice, since I had yesterday off!

I put out a hummingbird feeder, and no birds have come! It's still full. ?????

Judy, sometimes it takes a while for the birds to find the feeder. Be patient.

Janet, I'm so sorry that all of this is going on. I know that life is hard for you. You've got to reach out and find some help for yourself. If things are going so badly then you really do need to consider a nursing home. You would much rather go and enjoy being with your Mom then to be resenting her and your situation. Hugs!!!

Janet, here are some other forums you might be interested in.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Carin...-Parents/forum

http://www.christianforums.com/f453/

On these forums you can chat with others who are going through the same things. Love ya'!!!

http://www.helpguide.org/elder/carin...caregivers.htm

http://caregivers.supportgroups.com/

http://mikegamble.websitetoolbox.com/

Oh, Janet, you're strong, but you need a break. Set your priorities somehow. I'm thinking about you.

Judy is right, you are depressed, you are trapped in more ways that one, and you are spiraling downward. You need some relief NOW. You need a social worker in the worst way.

Worked 8 hours, went to an awesome physical therapy appointment, ate Casablanca ole to watch the rain, had a nice talk with my son asking him car questions I know the answer to making him feel needed, walked awhile with my doggie, laying on the couch, about to take a pain pill and muscle relaxer.

Sandy, you have been BUSY! I hope you feel better soon. I know how miserable PT can make you feel, at least initially. Thank goodness you have drugs! :D

I went to therapy too and I'm very sore. Hopefully it will get better soon. I wrote more in another thread so I won't repeat myself.

About 8:30 this evening I heard Mom calling me and found her lying on the floor again. She had tried to get on the commode and missed.....everything missed. She's okay and I was able to get her back in bed. Tomorrow I take her to the neurologist so hopefully we can find out why she keeps passing out. We also have an appt a week from Thursday to see her regular Dr. I need to find out why Mom can't keep food down and if she's not eating much, why there is so much waste. She is having problems swallowing. It was the soonest they could get her in unless there is a cancellation so they have us on list.

I am glad you finally got to the therapist. I will look for your other post.

Mom sounds like she is having a very hard time. I hope tomorrow is a better day for her.

I'm so worried about your Mom. I sure wish that the doctor would find out what was going on. For her sake and yours!!! I know that you're so tired of everything that's going on but you're a good daughter!!!

We had an absolutely crazy day here!!! Dae Lynn has Damon's neice spending the night with us. Taylor is a sweetie but she's not used to being away from her family. She's twelve and Karlie just adores her!!! Then we had Daya stay because Taylor was here.....then Kera decided to stay too. So they all but the tent on the trampoline and spent the night......except for Taylor, who got scared!!!

The phone has rung all day long....which I just hate.......it was mostly Damon needing rides to other places. He's on work release but hasn't been able to drive ever since he and Dae Lynn have been married so it's a real inconvience to Dae Lynn. Then Dae Lynn decided to make some salsa and freeze some butternut squash but she was in and out of the house while she was doing it. I was trying to get some furniture rearranged and my bedroom cleaned out but had to keep helping out Dae Lynn.

THEN.....we had a swim party at the lake with Amy and church kids. It was fun.....but before we left we had a low tire and Glen was aggravated about it. He backed up and backed the side of the Tahoe into his pickup and put a dent in the driver's door. He's been so grouchy about everything and I'm just so tired of it!! He knew it because I didn't hardly talk to him......he's kissing up now and apologizing so he knew he was in the wrong.

I have been so ready for evening. Taylor decided she wants to go home so Dae Lynn is running her home and going to Wal-mart so she'll be out late tonight but at least the kids are in bed!!! Yay!!! Jazzi and I are snuggling and relaxing together so our evening is so much more calm!!!

Tomorrow I'm going to start packing and getting ready to go to Lloyd's. I can't wait to get away for awhile!!!! My Aunt Marva is going to be there!!! Yay!!!

Tell more about Lloyd's. I've tried checking other posts for more detail but I've been having quite a few brain farts lately. Is this where you went with all of your aunts that time?

I agree with Diana about being worried about your mom. The more I think about it, I agree with Sandy that this could be clogged carotid arteries. Now, there may not be much they can do about that particular problem, because the main fix is surgery which your mom probably can't tolerate. But there may be some medication to increase blood flow to the brain which would definitely help.

Oh and Diana, I definitely empathize with your crazy household. We were like that, but only for a couple of months, and didn't have a toddler. I might have to retreat to my bomb shelter (if I had one, he he).

Diana, you need an RV! You could stay in there, nice and comfy, and let everyone else deal with the craziness! I think you are amazing! I would be unable to do what you are doing!

I am glad that Glen is sorry!

Yes, this is the same place we've gone before with my aunts and uncles....and my Mom's cousins....that's who Lloyd is. It's in a huge cabin that's like camp......four bedrooms with 5 or more beds in each room!!!! The good part is that there's 3 bathrooms!!! The house is made for being lived in....nothing very fancy!!!!

Here's a map. From the red spot for Big M.....we are on the opposite side where the sharp point is. Lloyd's cabin is right on that point!!! It's so cool and we swim right off of that point sometimes. It takes us about 4 hours to drive there.

http://activities.wildernet.com/page...ummary&CU_ID=1

Here's a post when we went before. It shows the cabin and what all is there. In the last picture is my aunt, Joan, that we lost a couple of years ago. She is still missed so much and was always the life of the party!!!!

http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/sho...ight=lloyd%27s

I don't think that we'll be back home until Monday. Glen's wanting to go towards Kansas City and pick up some parts for something. Maybe we can stop at some flea markets or something on the way!!!!

I took Mom to the neurologist today for the scan type thing. She had 29 little things connected to her head. For a about 10 minutes out of the 40, the tech thinks it's perfect for the Dr. to read....the rest...will be a little difficult. Mom did sleep for those 10 minutes, but the tech said she was too tense for part of it. We'll just have to wait and see. The tech told me that if the Dr. didn't get back with me in two weeks....to call them back for the results. She thinks it will be sooner but is not suppose to say so.

When we first got there I pulled up front and got the wheel chair out of the back. I helped Mom get out of the car and then she collapsed. I didn't know if I was going to be able to hold her up off the hot pavement or not. A very nice young lady that was driving a wheel chair van, helped me get Mom in the wheel chair and Mom was just lying back with her eyes open. She was out cold. I finally got Mom to come to and we got her into the building and up to where she was to have this procedure done. The tech is hoping it will show up since it just happened.

So...that makes 3 times Mom as passed out/lost balance or just plain ended up on the floor/ground in less than a week. I hope they can get it figured out quickly.

Two weeks is too freakin' long to wait for the results. I'm telling you Janet, you are lucky I'm not up there with you - I'd be doing some ripping a new A-hole on several different levels. There is just no excuse for this kind of lag time. It is utter, complete, senseless nonsense.

Two weeks is inhuman. Drives my bp up just thinking about it. Ugggh. I'm praying she doesn't break a hip or something in these falls. Janet, I'm sending you some of my strength.

Worked 10, made an offer on a house, sent in my foster/adoption applicatiion, and am on the couch for the count!

Personally I think that two weeks is too long too!!! I'm sending Gayle up there!!!!!

This know-it-all nurse would probably just pi$$ them off and it would take them 3 weeks to get back to me. LOL! But I would patiently explain the lack of empathy and how morally wrong it was to make someone in such need wait 2 weeks. Of course the sweet little nurse/tech knows the issue, so perhaps she will advocate for a quicker turnaround.

Have you ever seen the movie "The Doctor" with William Hurt - where he develops throat cancer and become a patient. If not, you should rent it. It SOOOOO applies to this situation which is that doctors rarely have a clue what they are putting their patients through, until it happens to them. Here's the movie trailer:

Jack McKee is a doctor with it all: he's successful, he's rich, and he has no problems.... until he is diagnosed with throat cancer. Now that he has seen medicine, hospitals, and doctors from a patient's perspective, he realises that there is more to being a doctor than surgery and prescriptions.

Similarly, I tell my girls at work to be very nice to the caterers so we don't worry about our food being peed on.

It's bad for some of us lay people because I really have no idea how long it should take for the test results to be read and then given to us. The tech did say it usually doesn't take that long, but she's not allowed to say how long. I figure I will wait one week and call to see if the results are back. In all honesty Gayle...about how long do you think it should take? I mean they do have other patients and all. I hate waiting...but I'm not in the medical field to know the time frame.

Any time a test is done for an acute problem, like your shoulder, or your mom passing out, then the wait time should only be a day or two, at the most. Of course, there may be some tests that take longer to interpret, like some blood tests have to be sent out to another lab. Perhaps this neurological test has to be sent out to be interpreted, but I doubt it as there is a neurologist on staff.

As I said before, if the doctor was hurting as badly as you were, he/she would NOT wait two weeks to get the results. If he/she were picking his/her mom up on the floor every other day, he/she woudl not wait. Now, for a chronic issue, like mild pain or blood work when the problem is not immediate, it's OK to wait a few days. Usually when the wait is so long, it's because the office is disorganized or there is not enough staff to get the work done.

Gary had a doctor once, where you had to leave a message to get someone to call you back to make an appointment. They never called back the same day you left the message. That is just ridiculous and we didn't see that doctor but a couple of times. That kind of service tells me the doctor really doesn't value his patients enough to provide quality service. Gotta cut back on the staff don't ya know, to be sure to pad the money bags.

Yeah, I'm pretty cynical when it comes to doctors. Gary has a few I really like, but by and large, I can do without them. I only see nurse practitioners - don't like to mess with docs. Of course, there will probably be a time when I need a doc, and I'll go at that time. But until then, I like my nurses.

I know that on my C-T scan the other day I was called with the results in a couple of days. I knew the results before I went to talk to the doctor about them. Actually on all of the tests I had I was called in a day or two about the results. I chose not to go back to the doctor until all the results were in but I wasn't in any pain either.

I would finish up with this doctor then look around for a different one. Ask around and find out who others are using.

I'm getting ready to start packing!!! We're planning on leaving around noon......which means it will probably be later.....we're not known for being on time!!!!

I'm not sure if my Mom and step-dad, Art, are going. Art has a daughter, Melissa, that has her heart backwards and she's in the hospital with pneumonia and an infection. Every time something happens there's a big worry about how it will sffect her heart. Please keep her in your prayers.

I don't think that we're going to be home until sometime on Monday. Glen wants to go and pick up some parts up near Kansas City. It's really out of our way but he needs to get the parts. Maybe we can hit some flea markets along the way!!!!

On a different note......Glen ordered some tires for our Tahoe and the price has really gone up.......anyone needing tires may want to go ahead and purchase them soon!!!! No telling what the price will be in a few weeks....they're going up THAT fast!!!

At the heart doctor w/ Gary. He's OK but the med they started two weeks ago is not working as well as they want it to in terms of getting the fluid out of him (mMing him pee). I'm sure they will just do blood work and the up the med. He's feeling OK but would feel better if he were a little drier.

It doesn't look like we are going to get much, if any rain from the tropical storm. Sigh.

Went to my 2nd therapy session. Did deep massage and some kind of ultra sound where the sound waves are suppose to do something. :) Also did some stretching exercises. Still sore, but really doesn't seem to be keeping me from doing anything at this point.

I go Monday to the neurologist for the follow-up appointment. I'm anxious to see what he says and hopefully actually 'see' the actual MRI pictures. Then Tuesday go for theray again.

This weekend my hometown here is having it's yearly festival. It's called the HotDog Festival. Not sure why other than the Frankfort school sports teams are the "Hotdogs". There are lots of garage sales in town and up around our town square there are flea market booths and just lots and lots of homemade things. I'm hoping to go up there for a bit, but it's just so hot and humid. By the time I park the car and get up to the square, I'll be soaked from sweating so much...lol.

I am gonna try to go for awhile....we'll see. Oh and one of my bus students has a band and will be playing this evening at 8:30....would love to go see him. I'll have to see if I can get Mom hooked to the dialysis machine sooner maybe.

Diana have fun at Lloyd's.....sure wish I was going with you!

Diana, have a wonderful time and a safe trip! Prayers for Melanie!

Janet, I know that living in a small town, good medical care can be difficult to find, especially when you cannot travel far with Mom in her condition. But, 2 weeks? They should be ashamed of themselves!!!

I am so glad that your PT is not hurting too badly!

Good luck Gary! Pee a lot!!! I also try to use nurse practitioners whenever possible, Gayle. The NP I was using is too much of an alarmist though, and I had to change. I found a very good doctor though, so I am really happy. He reminds me of the doctor I went to in Brooklyn, and who I trusted a lot. For a gyno, I think the hospital nearby has an NP. It's not that I don't trust doctors. In NYC, there was enough choice that I could find doctors I did trust. It is just that I trust NP's more! They have a whole different agenda.

I am very lucky though. I have had good health all of my life, except for headaches. A doctor did tell me once that the good news about my headaches was that they would never kill me. I liked that perspective!

We have rain a'coming, so I think I will relax in the house today. I have plants to put into my deck boxes, some coleus to repot, and maybe some laundry. I have some pictures to hang too. I could make some phone calls! This is looking better and better! The sun is out now, so I may go down to the pool for little while.

I am having the most relaxing summer! I am so grateful every time I think about it! I have the beautiful pool, my friends are here, the kids are close by, but have been busy enough so that I have some free time. I began my writing class, have some pottery cooking in my pottery teacher's kiln, and am so relaxed it is amazing. The kids are finished with camp today, so I think they will be here a lot, but they are going on vacation the last 2 weeks of the summer, so I won't get worn out by them. They are going to Hatteras Island, right on the beach. I am worried about the long drive, and them being away, especially in hurricane season, but I am excited for them too. Steve has been complaining, in his professional victim way, that he wants to leave this area. He isn't treated fairly here. I could go into a tirade right here about how self destructive he is, and how he causes his own problems 99.5% of the time, but I won't. I just hope that he doesn't plan on getting Jessie to love North Carolina and want to move there too!

Glad you could all check in and that all is well Worked, went to PT and it's working, meet my daughter and her family for supper. Andrew came home with me and they went to a movie. Have a date with the match.com guy I've been talking to. Not sure what we'll do. I told him I want to see cowboys and aliens. Hope I get more excited about it.

Sandy, you seem to be getting along with life and that is very nice I think! I hope the date goes well, I can't imagine dating again!!! I don't think I will, given the opportunity, but hey, never say never! LOL!