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Ponyup 07-14-2008 07:34 AM

Do you still love your husband? Does he love you? It really sounds like he doesn't love you, but i'm not there. If you love someone & they ask you to do or not do something you'll do it because you love them. Or have a very good reason why you can't. It sounds to me like your hubby doesn't want to grow up & be responsible. He's running away from you & his life because it's too much for his immature mind to handle. You can't force men to grow up; I've tried so many times in my life. I guess sit him down & tell him that if he's willing to work with you; you are willing to make compromises so you both get what you need. However, the way it sounds is he's already thrown in the towell. He no longer cares for you or his child & wants to go back to his care free ways. However, the situation dictates that he needs to mooch off of you until he gets his ducks in a row. I wouldn't let him; he either needs to be a part of the marriage & help you out or get out. There's no reason to continue to beat yourself up & try to make things work when it seems he's already made up his mind that it's over (the fact that he says he's moving out once he gets his license back, makes me think he's done). Marriage takes work from both sides not just one.

HALEY 07-14-2008 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ponyup (Post 69970)
Do you still love your husband? Does he love you? It really sounds like he doesn't love you, but i'm not there. If you love someone & they ask you to do or not do something you'll do it because you love them. Or have a very good reason why you can't. It sounds to me like your hubby doesn't want to grow up & be responsible. He's running away from you & his life because it's too much for his immature mind to handle. You can't force men to grow up; I've tried so many times in my life. I guess sit him down & tell him that if he's willing to work with you; you are willing to make compromises so you both get what you need. However, the way it sounds is he's already thrown in the towell. He no longer cares for you or his child & wants to go back to his care free ways. However, the situation dictates that he needs to mooch off of you until he gets his ducks in a row. I wouldn't let him; he either needs to be a part of the marriage & help you out or get out. There's no reason to continue to beat yourself up & try to make things work when it seems he's already made up his mind that it's over (the fact that he says he's moving out once he gets his license back, makes me think he's done). Marriage takes work from both sides not just one.

I think your right, i paid all his DUI fines (4,000), borrowed money off my mother for his back taxes from heartship loans (6,000), and him crashing the company vechicle (they didn't know he lost his lisc. at the time- thank God the lady he hit didn't call the police - long story! ) 3,000.. All of this was my money and my family's. I am now trying to build my savings back up so we would have extra money incase something comes up.. But he does need to grow up.
One thing i know he does loves his son. At least he admits to that. I don't think he loves me anymore and i'll deal with that for the time being, i have broad shoulders i can take it... But I'm not living like this for too much longer! We'll see what happens when he gets his lisc. back.( Aug. 8th) I already told him i'm not stopping him from leaving but once he leaves he's NOT coming back, i don't believe in second chances..


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