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-   -   Living Together Before Marriage? (http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1875)

NewTopics 03-27-2007 08:44 AM

Living Together Before Marriage?
 
What is your view on a couple living together before marriage?

Ponyup 03-27-2007 09:26 AM

I decided it wasn't something I wanted to do. I know my parents wouldn't of approved, but it was a personal choice & the best thing for our situation. I'm glad we didn't the first 18months we were married were pretty tough. My husband & I are both loner types & getting used to living with someone was very hard for us. Had we not been married we might have thrown in the towell. But being married we stuck it out & it has turned out for the best.

rivermom 03-27-2007 09:59 AM

I myself have done it and it worked out well. I am not saying that every couple should, but each to decide what is best for themself and their partner.

Janet 03-27-2007 10:29 AM

I didn't do it, but don't really like the idea. My personal opinion is why isn't the union worth being married. Too easy to walk away, although too many walk away in marriage also. I think a promise to God means something. To each their own, that's just how I feel.

cindy0721 03-27-2007 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ponyup
I decided it wasn't something I wanted to do. I know my parents wouldn't of approved, but it was a personal choice & the best thing for our situation. I'm glad we didn't the first 18months we were married were pretty tough. My husband & I are both loner types & getting used to living with someone was very hard for us. Had we not been married we might have thrown in the towell. But being married we stuck it out & it has turned out for the best.


gotta agree with the above post on this one.... I'm not saying "get married" or anything like that, but I too think if it had not been for us being married we too would have just walked out..... but I am glad we didn't and are still together... We married young and all the odds were against but we made it and now this June it will be 5 years married!:p

AngieDoogles 03-27-2007 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cindy0721
gotta agree with the above post on this one.... I'm not saying "get married" or anything like that, but I too think if it had not been for us being married we too would have just walked out..... but I am glad we didn't and are still together... We married young and all the odds were against but we made it and now this June it will be 5 years married!:p

We married young as well. I was 18, but I'm SO glad we did. As for living together before marriage, my mom would've killed me, lol! Hubby's mom, on the other hand, suggested that he go to seminary and that we live together without getting married. I don't think that would've gone over very well!! She was just concerned because she got married young to his father and it was a bad marriage. She didn't want that for her son. I personally wouldn't do it, but as others have said, to each his own.

DianaB 03-27-2007 10:38 AM

I don't think that it's a good idea to live together before getting married. I think that people jump into relationships without really knowing the person that they're involved with. It takes a lot of time to REALLY get to know someone. By living together it makes it difficult to leave a relationship that's not right for you and move on and find the relationship that IS right for you. I think that finding the one person who is right for you takes alot of time and shouldn't be a decision that you take lightly. It is one of the most important decisions in your life.

Mandy 03-27-2007 10:46 AM

I have done it, and for us it worked out great! When we got married we got the "butterfly's" again, that was 16 years ago, almost 3 years ago we renewd our vows, and did it all over again, fell in love, were on cloud 9, had a huge wedding :thumbup: Keeps life interesting LOL

Chandra Amaya 03-27-2007 11:51 AM

I think it is always different for different situations & different people. With my first hubby we didn't. We were very young & I wish I had known alittle more about him before I had married him. Living together might have helped. He was a drug addict. My second hubby & I did. We lived together for a month before getting married. I think it was exactly what I needed to show me all men are not the same.

Marilyn 03-27-2007 06:13 PM

My opinion on this question does not matter. God gave us his Word as our guide and His opinion is the only one that does matter. He said that man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, not go live with his girlfriend. Sorry ladies, but if we are to be God's faithful children, we need to do what He says. He knows what is best for us and He loves us.

It's not my intention to offend anyone, but God is often very specific on issues, and if we are striving to be like His son, we need to be specific as well and speak when the Bible speaks and be silent when it is silent.

Janet 03-28-2007 04:14 AM

Totally agree with you Marilyn. I knew you'd be able to put it simply in black and white so to speak.

Lissa 03-28-2007 06:52 AM

Well, obviously if I did live with him before we got married my mom would kill me :p

But really, even if you don't take what the Bible has to say, I think living together should be one of those things you get to experience after getting married. I don't see what would be different other than knowing that if he wants to leave he'll have to go to court and it makes it more difficult. Living together is almost symbolic of the marriage, you both live your seperate lives in seperate places, but when you get married its no longer "my life" its "our life" so you go from "my place" to "our place." Though I wouldn't mind coming home and seeing my boyfriend there or being home when he gets off from work and having that guarentee I'll get to see him everyday, that'll have to wait for if we get married.

DianaB 03-28-2007 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn
My opinion on this question does not matter. God gave us his Word as our guide and His opinion is the only one that does matter. He said that man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, not go live with his girlfriend. Sorry ladies, but if we are to be God's faithful children, we need to do what He says. He knows what is best for us and He loves us.

It's not my intention to offend anyone, but God is often very specific on issues, and if we are striving to be like His son, we need to be specific as well and speak when the Bible speaks and be silent when it is silent.

I agree with you 100% :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

rivermom 03-28-2007 11:38 AM

It clearly shows that everybody has their own thinking/opinion towards this subject.

It clearly shows that everybody has their own beliefs towards how they feel their life should be lived.

Janet 03-28-2007 12:31 PM

And isn't it wonderful that in this forum, no one is made to feel they are wrong, just because we all may believe differently? I've said it before, I'll say it again...4WT Rocks!!!!


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