What do you say...
 

What do you say to a friend whose husband just passed... by his own hand?? :(

Just tell her that you're there for her if she needs you. Bring over a supper so she doesn't have to worry about food. Let her talk and just listen. Offer to help out in any way that you can.

I know that when I had a miscarriage that was very painful emotionally I had a lot of people who would ask how I was doing and I always answered, fine. I learned through that when I ask others how they're doing and they say fine to say "Now how are you really doing?" That opens it up that you're willing and have the time to talk to her if she wants to talk about it.

Just a hug and "I'm so sorry" then make yourself available because in cases of suicide people shy away 'cause they just don't know what to say and fear saying the wrong thing.

With a real friend you dont need a lot of words. Just being there speaks it all.

Be there for her. I'd imagine that since it was by his own hand that she'll feel as if she's responsible and it's her fault, just let her know it isn't her fault.

I agree with Lissa that it's very important to let her know that it isn't her fault. Like the others said, the best thing you can do is just be there for her and play it by ear. Talk to her if that's what she wants and just be there for her if she isn't ready to talk about it just yet. I'm sorry that this tragedy has happened, but I'm glad your friend has you to be there for her. That will mean more to her than you could know, I'm sure.

What a very sad thing to go through. I would definitely be there for her. Let her do most of the talking, but assure her it isn't her fault. Assure her that there are many people who are just feeling so overwhelmed that they can't think clearly and if he would have been, he wouldn't have done this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but when we feel so overwhelmed we don't think about the consequences and what it does to those that are left behind.

Very well said Janet.

I agree. Very well said, Janet.

I agree too, very well said Janet. Hunbun, im sorry your friend is having to go through this, just be by her side, she is really going to need you.

Tough one. I also agree with Janet.

That's really sad. As long as she knows you're there for her, that's all you can do.
Let her know you really are there and let her take the lead in what she wants to talk about, I think. I guess it also depends on your relationship too. Just keep it going, and we're here for you if it gets difficult.