How to Prepare for a Mammogram!
 

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!



Exercise 1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't effective enough.



Exercise 2

Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.



Exercise 3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!



CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram!

I wish I would have seen this a long long time ago...I would have been so much more prepared!!

ROFL!!!! Good one!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

That's great! What is that mammogram thing all about anyway? My all time favorite is when they stick those nipple covers on you. I usually forget about then after they've sufficiently tortured and numbed out my breasts and find them when I get home that night.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! :thumbup:

I had a friend give me a paper with this on it a long time ago, before I ever had a mammogram. After I finally had one done I understood what all of the laughing was about. I'm glad that I ran across it again and that you enjoyed it!!!!

That's funny. I've never had one before and I don't think I want to, especially after reading that!! lol

LOL That's great. Now I dread it even more.

Luckily, it's pretty fast, and you must have a sense of humor. Just watching a familiar body part being squashed like a grilled cheese sandwich being pushed down on a grill is so weird, it's funny.

Oh man that was comical!