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-   -   This is home! (http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3016)

dextress 09-21-2007 09:03 AM

This is home!
 
Now seriously, i have yet started a thread about on my intro, but rather came here...coz this section feels like home!! i, at almost regular intervals, really really need to vent out. And this is the reason why i joined a women only forum, coz only a woman can understand another.

Yes right now i really need to vent, coz we (DH n me) havent really been "TALKING" since 3 days. i mean its just usual to the point conversation. Hes occupied with work most of the time, and i am occupied with my 1.4 yr old daughter. the only time we sit together is the meal time, when the TV is on too. So no talking again. My daughter keeps waking up several times during the night, so he sleeps in the living room, coz if he doesnt get enough sleep, he feels sleepy at work, hence hindering his performance, which he can not take at any cost. I am ok with this routine most of the time, but sometimes, it really is a pain! I need to someone to talk to at the end of the day.
phew!!!

Thanks for listening to me.

Mandy 09-21-2007 09:20 AM

Most of us know what that feels like. It can be very challenging for a relationship with a baby. I'm sorry you are going through this, but give yourself time, in the end, it all comes right again... and all of these "horrible" moments are forgotten, as your daughter grows, you will start having more time to share with each other.
You have come to the right place to vent, vent all you want here, we are all here for you.

AngieDoogles 09-21-2007 10:06 AM

Aww, I'm sorry things are frustrating. All of us go through things like that in our marriage. My husband, no matter how much I love him or he loves me, is a computer geek. Completely. LOL. He could spend hours and HOURS working on code for a new program or on his "UBUNTU" forums...leaving me to get my socializing from here or my friends in real life. The thing that makes it okay for us is that I tell him when I'm feeling lonely or neglected and then he tries extra hard to be there for me. I think that kind of communication and effort on both parts is key. It makes those feelings of loneliness or frustration a few isolated instances rather than just a way of life.

I don't have children so I can't even begin to understand how much that complicates your situation and how you feel, so I will leave it to the mothers to give advice about that part.

I hope you feel better!

goofywife 09-21-2007 05:52 PM

I am sorry you guys are so stressed. Please remember that best thing you can do for your daugther is to take care of your marriage. You have to have that "couple" time.

dextress 09-22-2007 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles
He could spend hours and HOURS working on code for a new program or on his "UBUNTU" forums...leaving me to get my socializing from here or my friends in real life.

Same here. This UBUNTU creap!!!! how i hate it!
I am trying my best to be as patient as possible. I let him work, coz thats important too. But all the time??? THAT is a lil too much. Still i havent complained about it till now. Hope he himself realises what i am going through one fine day.
Why do men start taking us for granted soon after marriage? He was NEVER ever like this before marriage. I used to be his first priority. But not anymore... Such a bitter bitter bitter bitter truth!

Mandy 09-22-2007 12:55 AM

Dextress, be open with him, men dont think anything is wrong unless you tell them. Tell him, you feel neglected, and want more of hes time. Go out, and do things together, find a baby sitter for your daughter, find things that will bring back that "spark"

dextress 09-22-2007 01:13 AM

Oh! thats the worst part u see. He knows everything...how i feel n all. but simply no improvement. His daughter n his work have the most importance.
I am leaving everything on time. Hope that helps.

AngieDoogles 09-22-2007 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dextress
Oh! thats the worst part u see. He knows everything...how i feel n all. but simply no improvement. His daughter n his work have the most importance.
I am leaving everything on time. Hope that helps.

Maybe you could write him a letter and really pour your heart out to him. Sometimes our men don't realize the importance of what we say to them, but if you wrote a letter, you could really highlight what the problem is and how it makes you feel.

dextress 09-23-2007 06:21 AM

hmmm..
that sounds interesting.
will muster the courage sometime soon n do that.

AngieDoogles 09-23-2007 08:40 AM

Hope it helps! Good luck!

judy 09-23-2007 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles
Maybe you could write him a letter and really pour your heart out to him. Sometimes our men don't realize the importance of what we say to them, but if you wrote a letter, you could really highlight what the problem is and how it makes you feel.


That's how I do it when talking gets me nowhere. A letter can be read alone and the reactions aren't bounced off on you. He can absorb what you say in his own time, and then when you do talk about it, there's a lot less defensiveness and, hopefully more communication.

It also does take time to get accustomed to babies, and real life. Marriage is a lot of work and has lots of ups and downs. Relax and enjoy the baby. Let him do what he needs to do for a while. You'll never have this time with the baby again. They grow so fast. You can talk to him any time!

What is this website? Now, I'm curous.

judy 09-23-2007 09:04 AM

Yikes! I went to that forum. I got scared. I am a huge nerd and even I got scared!
Angie, we haven't peaked at nerdines yet.

dextress 09-24-2007 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by judy
Yikes! I went to that forum. I got scared. I am a huge nerd and even I got scared!
Angie, we haven't peaked at nerdines yet.

which forum?? did i miss something? :confused:

AngieDoogles 09-24-2007 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by judy
Yikes! I went to that forum. I got scared. I am a huge nerd and even I got scared!
Angie, we haven't peaked at nerdines yet.

Judy, Brenny says there's no greater compliment than to say he's "peaked at nerdiness"! LOL! :sidesplit: He thinks he still has a long way to go though... :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by dextress
which forum?? did i miss something? :confused:

I think she went to Ubuntu forums. ;)

Mandy 09-24-2007 07:29 AM

Now what the heck is a UBUNTU forum LOL.... talk about thick... i got a whole PLANK infront of me LMAO! Oh Lordy


Yup, i dont the letter before, wrote it for him, and put it in hes lunchbox.... to my surprise "he got it" LOL


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