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-   -   Depressed getting old at 64 (http://www.4womentalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4352)

donna1990 03-30-2008 02:45 PM

Depressed getting old at 64
 
I feel like my days are numbered. All I think about is that I will die. I am a Christian, what is going on with me? My husband is 69, he says to me everyday, I don't have much more years to live. We need some inspiration from people our age.

Gina 03-30-2008 02:54 PM

First I want to welcome you to 4wt, I hope that you post here there are wonderful women whom I have come to love and call my friends. Please always feel free to speak..

First of all you are not old and your husband should not make you feel that you both are heading for death..OMG, people are living older these days and are living better thanks to modern medicine and keeping active mentally and phycially. Are you both in good health? You have to start thinking younger and get out there and enjoy life. Don't let it pass you by.

I assume that you are both retired, enjoy going out to dinner, taking up hobbies whether alone or together . Get together with friends , travel if you have the monetary means your still a young couple.. Don't dwell on the numbers it will bring you down. When your husband makes a comment tell him to snap out of it and not to include you in. I don't know if you are grandparents , live for them.. You only get one shot at it....

Forgivenmom5 03-30-2008 02:58 PM

I am a few years younger than you but I am going through cancer treatments. I try not to think about what can happen but enjoy each day. It is hard sometimes but I try to remember the song "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." I really have to make myself do this some days and those days the ladies here are a lot of strength. I am sure they will help you too.

Janet 03-30-2008 02:58 PM

Donna...that makes me so sad you are thinking this way. I do think there are times when we all think about our dying for a fleeting moment, but any longer I don't think is healthy.

For all of us...our days are numbered, it's what you do with those days that will bring you peace of mind and joy.

I wish everyone could meet my mother!! She's 85, not in the greatest of health, but she still drives, still pulls a tag-a-long camper to go camping with a campers group she has belonged to for 40 years. Does everything for herself...does what she wants, when she wants, loves her computer, and will not join the local senior citizens center because according to her....everyone there is too old. LOL.

Start thinking about how wonderful life is and that you have a very long time left. I hope you can do that.

Whenever you get down...just come here. Someone here will lift your spirits. I know they do it for me...every time! :ghug:

Tink 03-30-2008 03:07 PM

Oh Donna, I'm so sorry you're letting this get you down!
You're right that as we age, our time we have left does just grow shorter and shorter with each passing day. Yet we have to decide if we're going to waste what time we have left by worrying about it, or make a special effort to enjoy what we do have so we make the best of it.

We're all born with a death sentence hanging over us. It's a fact of being mortal. I've had a heart attack, my dad and 3 of my grandparents died of heart attacks, so I'd say it's a fairly safe bet that's how I'll go out. I could maybe add a little time to my life if I quit eating the high fat, high calorie foods and quit smoking. I might extend my life by following all of my drs orders, but I am determined that I want to enjoy myself and if I can't, then what's the point?

I think there are a lot worse things than dying. Not living while you still can ranks right up there.

I throw myself into my hobbies. I'm learning to say what I mean whether it's the popular thing or not, and I'm valuing the friendships and time with my loved ones more than I ever have BECAUSE I know how fleeting it all can be. God didn't give us life just so we could spend it worrying. I hope you're able to pull yourself out of this funk and live like you appreciate this gift. We owe it to God to use and be grateful for all that he's given us, and life's a whole lot more fun when we do.

HUGS

katcarasella 03-30-2008 03:22 PM

Donna,
Please perk up, they say 60 is the new 40!!
When I first started out on this site I was super depressed. But ater a few weeks with this group of Ladies, I've turned into the class clown.:rolleyes:
Please listen to their advice and know that it's coming from their hearts.
God sent you here today for a reason, listen to Him!!
I'm talking from experience.
You're in my Prayers.
Sincerely, Kathy

DianaB 03-30-2008 04:02 PM

I agree with what the others have said. I think that there's a place in our lives where we realize that we're getting older but we just have to place our trust in the Lord and let Him worry about when we'll die. My days belong to Him, all of them. It's not up to me to worry about how many I have left because that takes away from how I'm living now. The Bible says many times "Fear not!!" and I take that to mean in every area of my life. Just turn those worries over to God and go out and enjoy today and tomorrow and all the days ahead!!!!

Read Matthew 6:25-34. I like especially what verse 27 says "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

And verse 34 says "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

goofywife 03-30-2008 04:13 PM

Welcome to 4WT!! I also agree with what everyone has said here. A healthy 64 is better than a very sick 20. When I am down, I usually take a walk, look at all of the new flowers getting ready to bloom. Let my dog lick me face!! And watch a babies laugh. (I think there is a good one on You Tube). All those things make me happy. Hopefully they will work for you.

donna1990 03-31-2008 10:43 AM

depressed getting old at 64
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Forgivenmom5
I am a few years younger than you but I am going through cancer treatments. I try not to think about what can happen but enjoy each day. It is hard sometimes but I try to remember the song "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." I really have to make myself do this some days and those days the ladies here are a lot of strength. I am sure they will help you too.

God bless you, I will be praying for you. You have a lot of strength and faith.

donna1990 03-31-2008 10:52 AM

Depressed getting old at 64
 
I thank you all so much, should not feel sorry for myself. My husband battled prostate cancer but is cancer free now, retired but has a 10 acre hobby farm and he works 12 hours a day. I suffer from fibromyalgia that keeps me in pain all of the time, and fatiqued, so trips are out of the question. No close family members, only 2 grandchildren that we see on birthday's and Christmas.
BUT, I have my yorkie that brightens my life with her love and kisses. I have so much to be thankful for.
I do keep in touch with many old friends and family by email.
Thanks again for your support.
Donna:thumbup:

janc 03-31-2008 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forgivenmom5
I am a few years younger than you but I am going through cancer treatments. I try not to think about what can happen but enjoy each day. It is hard sometimes but I try to remember the song "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." I really have to make myself do this some days and those days the ladies here are a lot of strength. I am sure they will help you too.

I think about that same phrase just about every day when I'm walking my Yorkies. I too had cancer at 53 and am 60 now. I am so busy each day doing what I like to do (crochet, yard work, animals (birds and Yorkies), reading, etc. that I really enjoy each day. I have met lots of people since we moved here and we have a very busy social schedule. If your husband wants to wallow in misery let him. You can't change him but you can take charge of your own life. Remember, life is what you make it!

janc 03-31-2008 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet
Donna...that makes me so sad you are thinking this way. I do think there are times when we all think about our dying for a fleeting moment, but any longer I don't think is healthy.

For all of us...our days are numbered, it's what you do with those days that will bring you peace of mind and joy.

I wish everyone could meet my mother!! She's 85, not in the greatest of health, but she still drives, still pulls a tag-a-long camper to go camping with a campers group she has belonged to for 40 years. Does everything for herself...does what she wants, when she wants, loves her computer, and will not join the local senior citizens center because according to her....everyone there is too old. LOL.

Start thinking about how wonderful life is and that you have a very long time left. I hope you can do that.

Whenever you get down...just come here. Someone here will lift your spirits. I know they do it for me...every time! :ghug:

Janet,
Your mother rocks!! I would like to emulate her!

janc 03-31-2008 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tink
Oh Donna, I'm so sorry you're letting this get you down!
You're right that as we age, our time we have left does just grow shorter and shorter with each passing day. Yet we have to decide if we're going to waste what time we have left by worrying about it, or make a special effort to enjoy what we do have so we make the best of it.

We're all born with a death sentence hanging over us. It's a fact of being mortal. I've had a heart attack, my dad and 3 of my grandparents died of heart attacks, so I'd say it's a fairly safe bet that's how I'll go out. I could maybe add a little time to my life if I quit eating the high fat, high calorie foods and quit smoking. I might extend my life by following all of my drs orders, but I am determined that I want to enjoy myself and if I can't, then what's the point?

I think there are a lot worse things than dying. Not living while you still can ranks right up there.

I throw myself into my hobbies. I'm learning to say what I mean whether it's the popular thing or not, and I'm valuing the friendships and time with my loved ones more than I ever have BECAUSE I know how fleeting it all can be. God didn't give us life just so we could spend it worrying. I hope you're able to pull yourself out of this funk and live like you appreciate this gift. We owe it to God to use and be grateful for all that he's given us, and life's a whole lot more fun when we do.

HUGS

You know, Tink, I feel the same way. I did all the right things- exercised every day, ate only healthy food, didn't drink alcohol, etc. The first thing I thought about when I found out I had cancer was - the ice cream I hadn't eaten in years. I went right out and bought 2 Ben and Jerry's and ate them. Of course, I was sick because I'm lactose intolerent.!!! From that moment on I decided I would do what I wanted. I drink wine occasionally, eat ice cream all the time (Yogurt once a day keeps my stomach in good shape), and I do still exercise but if I miss a day or 3 that's ok too. Life is mostly good!

Tink 03-31-2008 12:51 PM

Donna, we're all entitled to have a pity party for ourselves occasionally. It's just when we get in that rut and can't pull back out that we're wasting our time. No one deserves to be miserable, and unless we decide to enjoy life, it's not going to happen. We'd love to have you join the rest of us middle agers in being silly and friends and support for each other. It's amazing how much fun it can be just to talk with these wonderful ladies. I know they've lifted me out of several slumps.

Janet 03-31-2008 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tink
Donna, we're all entitled to have a pity party for ourselves occasionally. It's just when we get in that rut and can't pull back out that we're wasting our time. No one deserves to be miserable, and unless we decide to enjoy life, it's not going to happen. We'd love to have you join the rest of us middle agers in being silly and friends and support for each other. It's amazing how much fun it can be just to talk with these wonderful ladies. I know they've lifted me out of several slumps.


Because we love you silly!!!

Donna, you just come here...we'll love ya so much you won't think about it anymore...:)


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