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The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:
What's for dinner?

SAFER:
Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST:
Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
_______________________________

DANGEROUS:
Are you wearing that?

SAFER:
Wow, you sure look good in brown!

SAFEST:
WOW! Look at you!

ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine
_________________________________

DANGEROUS:
What are you so worked up about?

SAFER:
Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST:
Here's my paycheck.

ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
____________________________

DANGEROUS:
Should you be eating that?

SAFER:
You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST:
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some wine.
________________________________________

DANGEROUS:
What did you DO all day?

SAFER:
I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST:
I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE:
Here, have some more wine.

_____________________________________

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!

...Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!