so awkward...
 

I just need to get something out... I'm at school in a very male-dominated field of study, and there's only 3 girls in my class including me. One is older and pregnant and she spends all her time at home with her boyfriend. The other I spend most of my time with. We met on our first day of classes 2 years ago and we spend just as much time in school as out. Last week she decided to tell me that she has secretly been sleeping with my roommate, and she thought she should tell me because I would figure it out anyway. My roommate is a guy in our class, and I am sworn to secrecy. Now she comes over and feels like she has to visit with me even though she just wants to run to my roommate's bedroom. She sleeps here every night. She gets up all hours to get a glass of water or whatever, waking my dog up, and making her bark because she's not used to people walking around the house at night, and therefore waking me up.
Obviously, her and my roommate don't get much sleep, and they complain all day about how tired they are, and miss class, and let me pick up their homework. Today she was telling me "it must be pretty weird to be in your position hey?" and I was pretty annoyed and I said "yeah, it's really weird." and she just laughed. I don't think I would have a problem with it if it wasn't happening in MY house EVERY night.
Tonight I thought things were different and she wanted to go to a movie with me. When the movie was over, at 11:30, when I should be in bed for a good night's sleep, she said "hey i'll see you in a couple minutes" and she giggled. Not 5 minutes after I walked in the door, she knocked, and I had to let her in so she could go do her thing with my roommate. Now I can HEAR them. I am so mad!

Hmm... that is awkward!! I hope things change SOON for you.
If you hear them, which must be aweful, just go bang on the door and tell them, you want to SLEEP!

Good luck, just keep smiling even though it's difficult :)

ewwwww.......! You can HEAR them?:eek: I would definitely talk to her and tell her you hear them doing the nasty and how uncomfortable it makes you. She should be embarrassed after you tell her but she sounds like a piece of work! Maybe you can talk to him about it since he's your roomate?

Start charging her rent - since it seems she's there every single night - maybe then she'd either be more respectful of you and your friendship or she'd stop hanging around there! I would definitely talk to her and your room mate. She's probably already told him you know about them but she wants you to maintain "secrecy" - bull!! Talk to them both, for your peace of mind.

yeah my roommate knows that I know about it, but he doesn't want me to let anyone else in the class know. We also aren't that close really, i don't feel comfortable around him because I know about his lifestyle and drug use and stuff. Basically, he does his thing and I do mine. They won't do it at her house because she also lives with a guy from our class, who isn't allowed to know about it. And my roommate is so antisocial, if someone called here for him and he's not here, there would be questions. My friend just always says she's visiting me. I guess I'll let her know today that my house isn't soundproof.
I don't understand how they can do this every night! School right now is my life, and I work my ass off all week so that I can have my weekends with my boyfriend. If I was dating a guy who needed to keep me awake every night, it would be over in an instant! But I guess we all have different priorities...

Wow that sounds pretty uncomfortable and it doesn't sound like if you talk to them, they will take you seriously. I guess all you can do at this point is hope that they break up soon so you can finally get some sleep!! Sorry I can't be of more help but try to hang in there and in the meantime, get some ear plugs and try to make the best of it.

I wouldnt be very happy either! I think you should just tell her that you dont want to hear them in the bedroom and maybe they will get the clue! I also think that you should let her know that you are going to start charging her rent if she is going to be staying there every night!

I would also charge her rent! If they got a motel room it would cost them..why should your place be free? Maybe that would end it. hopefully

Definitely start charging her. I would also talk with them both. If your roomy doesn't agree with you, then send him packing. You'd probably be able to find a more suitable roommate. Good luck to you...don't let them take advantage of you.

Well, I talked to one of them. I felt so weird today even LOOKING at them. My friend was sitting behind me in a class so i got a little piece of paper and wrote "Turns out my house isn't soundproof AT ALL" and she apologized and said it's because my roommate turned his music off... but it's not like I would sleep any better with music blasting. She said it'll never happen again and then laughed when I read it because obviously it's not gonna stop. I guess she's starting to feel guilty because I told her I'm not going out with her tonight so I can get to sleep before she comes over, and she promised me nothing will happen tonight. It's taking a toll on our friendship though. This would be so much better if I didn't have a roommate!

I am sure she was embarrassed and was laughing in a nervous way. There is really no easy way out of this situation and I am afraid that the friendship might get affected as well. Hopefully when you freeze her out a little she will know she upset you and will try to be more considerate of you. Good luck to you.

Well.... she's not really the kind of girl to be nervous or embarassed about anything... After I started dating my current boyfriend, who she introduced me to, she had no problem telling me DETAILS about the one night they ended up together. It was so hard on me I almost broke up with him until he convinced me it was a huge mistake on his part. After I started hanging out with his friends more I found out she had taken advantage of almost ALL of them after they had too much to drink. Her life and her priorities are her business, but I don't think she realizes how it makes other people feel when she talks so openly. She's a good person inside, and she was a lot of fun before this whole episode started. But she will say things in front of 50 people that I wouldn't even think to myself.

That's sick! Some people are so rude and TRASHY!

I would just tell her how you feel if she has a problem with it then she should find somewhere else to do it. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Any chance that you can find another place to live or ask your roomie to leave?