Quote:
Originally Posted by RLC12345678
I definately think that you should back off being his "wife." Most men feel why should they buy the cow when they get the milk for free? I think backing off A LOT would do a lot of good. I know you don't want to back off and it will be hard, but that is the only way you are going to know whether this man has the same long-term feelings about you as you do for him. If you are so "close," do you not think that you could talk to him about his feelings about marriage? Maybe tell him that you are going to back off for awhile and let him think about the future and about whether he wants to be with you forever or not. Tell him that you want to be with him, but you need to know what he is thinking. Tell him that you aren't trying to freak him out or anything. But he needs something to look forward to by marrying you. I know most people these days don't save sex for marriage, and that is fine, to each her own, but there has to be SOMETHING that will entice him to get married. Otherwise, he will never want to. And I don't blame him...why should he?? He is already getting all the benefits of being married without having the commitment.
I wish you the best of luck in the situation. One of the keys to a successful relationship/marriage is communication. You need to find a way to successfully and openly communicate with your boyfriend and you both should discuss this.
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lol i saw the comment about the cow and the milk and i say out loud "oh no i still have my milk!!!" no we dont have sex or anything like it... we are waiting until we get married... hopefully that will be together

and its soo weird that i cant talk to him about it...its like im soo afraid that he will say that its not what he wants that i dont even want to ask! its crazy.. we really do have such open conversation about everything....except this!... i think it really streams from the fact that we arent romantic..or mushy..so we dont really sit down and say ok... we are in love lets get married. im just going to have to get up the courage and sit down and ask the question. im just terrified that he's not going to want to marry me. im 21 by the way and hes 29. i know i know all of you ladies are going to say..youre too young ... but if youve gone what i have gone through since i was 16.. you'd be ready to settle down and have babies too