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Judy...I think you are doing the right thing by just being supportive whether you are or not. Considering the history...it's better not to start an argument. A baby really is wonderful news, but with her health...I'd worry too. I'm sure if it's meant to be...it will happen.
I really hope your SIL doesn't expect you to be there 100%...that's ridiculous. He's still not working full time is he? You are so good to him and it's understandable. Personally...I don't think he'd like me as a MIL....LOL.
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1
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