[Lindsey]

I mean I wish we would have taken her to the college sooner. I wish we would have gotten her to the specialists sooner. It took a long time to realize that the regular vet, or ANY regular vets just don't have the knowledge to deal with what was going on. Her vet kept saying she's still doing great, she still has deep pain sensation, she still has an 80% chance of recovery. And it wasn't until later when we visited her again and she pinched Layla's toes and said "Well she got her deep pain sensation back" ... but no, she didn't. Her pulling her leg away is NOT deep pain sensation, because she has no idea she's doing it. So really we have no idea how long she actually went without it. The vet said she had it the morning of the surgery, and had it the night we took her in to start with, but obviously her definition is different than the real definition. The same thing happened with her acupuncture vet, she considered pulling away to be deep pain too. I said no it's not, the surgeons and specialists said she has no deep pain sensation until her BRAIN recognizes that something is hurting her.

Everyone has a different story. And from what I'm reading, most dogs who start walking again were put on steroids immediately after surgery. Layla has been given NO steroids. In fact she's completely off all her medication already. Most people are saying do NOT start physical therapy until weeks after surgery, but Layla started immediately after surgery.

I just don't know what to do or what to think and I'm scared that nobody is taking it as seriously as I am. If she's laying on the bed beside me, Scott will start playing with her and pushing her over so she will bite at his hands. She has tipped herself backwards in her crate and can't get up and he doesn't worry about it. She is supposed to be kept as still as possible. Scott falls asleep at night while I stay awake if she's crying. She's not crying for no reason. She will stop if I get her what she wants, or move her bedding to make it more comfortable for her.

I know that Scott doesn't have the same bond with her that I have, but he keeps saying it's hard on him too but he has to just get on with life. I am telling him I'm still trying to adjust. I am the one with her all day, worrying that she's eating and drinking enough, she's not staying in the same position to get bedsores, she's having her bladder expressed.... I'm trying my hardest to keep her happy even though she needs to be cooped up in a crate for the next couple of months. And yet he yells at me for being absent-minded lately with other things.

I am just starting to feel very very alone. I know that Layla loves me and she knows that I'm doing what I can to save her, and she is grateful to be with me every second we're together. That's what is getting me through the days. But this is so hard.