Quote:
Originally Posted by gja1000
Janet, it is very difficult - we want to take care of our parents, they took care of us, but it is very very different when you have your parents in your home. Also Janet, your home life was not good to start with and your husband was not supportive - which makes it even worse, I think. My husband was super supportive and he loves me and my mom so much - but even he was so tired of having her here all the time.
Even though my mom does not have any health problems, my daughter and I just HAD to reclaim our home and our lives. I know mom would much rather be with us, but we both have so many other irons in the fire. I'm so glad that she is in her own space, she has constant care, if she needs it, and she is safe. It is so much better for all of us. She is doing well, making some friends and participating in some of the activities. It is good for her.
I know that sounds heartless - but it is not. Life is very complicated these days, and even in the best of circumstances, it is difficult.
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Gayle, I can not agree with you more on this, as much as i love my mom i am so glad that i did not bring her here to live in my home, you remember how many nights i stayed up crying and you were always there to console me. Mom is being taken care of so much better than i could have ever done, especially with her medical needs, i know she is lonely at times and she calls just about every night just to hear my voice i think and to reasure her on daily avtivites, but she also talks about how busy they are keeping her there, she went bowling the other day and had pizza, she loved it, she use to bowl on leagues years ago. With me working full time and busy with the dogs and life in general i now feel it was the right decision.
Janet, maybe the next time your mom goes into the hospital you can take that chance to take her back to the place she was at, i know she said she didn't like it there but she really wasn't there long enough to give it a chance. I know it would be heart breaking having to explain to her that it is just to much for you to handle, but she just needs someone/place that knows how to take care of her needs. We have talked about this endlessly and you always end up caveing to her wants, you need to stand up for yourself and think about what it is doing to you, it's not the fact that you don't love her because you have shown her that you do love her and you both have grown closer over the past year.