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I am so sorry your day went so badly, Janet!
Is there a social worker, or a counselor you could go to talk, or maybe find a support group of caretakers? It sounds like the stress is getting really hard to deal with by yourself. Finding some ongoing support would be nice for you.
By the way, I think your niece acted like a child. She is an adult, and so what if her parents said that? It's her shower, and she can do whatever she wants. It was awfully nice of her to bring the quilt though.
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