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Janet, why don't you find a women shelter for this girl. That way your boy knows that your not being cold and want whats best for her. I had to hide from my ex and this wonderful lady help me because I couldn't go to my family since my ex knew there address. So I stayed at a women's shelter for a few weeks. They provide food, shelter and have security and help women go to school and find work. If she doesn't want to go then you guys know she is just bluffing. I was not happy to go there but I would have done everything to get away from my ex.
Your son's support should mean alot to her but like you said, it's not something she should involve him in. Tell him that he needs to give her grown up advise but it is her that needs to pull herself through. They might even have counseling in there that she can go to for her suicidal thoughts.
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