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Janet,
You did NOT FAIL. You are great parents. But, as the old saying goes, "love is blind". I've seen it happen so many many times. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving everything to charity - in fact, it is a very noble thing to do. Perhaps in time your son will see the light and then you can change everything back the way it was. Until then, do what you feel you have to do. Don't beat yourself up. Some people, by nature, are more easily manipulated. Perhaps this is your son, perhaps he will always be this way. It's his life, he is making the choices now, you are not bad parents, you raised him well. He has to make his own way, as painful as it is for you to watch. Hopefully enlightenment will come his way soon. Until then, just hope for the best and let the chips fall where they may.
You are a good person Janet, please don't beat yourself up! Enjoy your life, it's too short to fret yourself over things you cannot change, no matter how badly you want to change them. Look for peace and contentment in the things you can control/influence.
__________________
 Gayle
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