[Janet]

Thank you Tink and Marilyn. I just feel so awful that things are the way they are. The thing of it is I know in my heart of hearts that part of it is my fault too. I know how she is and I always have this wall up...just in case and she never fails me. She always says something in a hurtful way. Sometimes it's not the words she says, but the hateful way she says them. She's 83, I'm 51, we've never been really close, but I always thought and wanted it to be better.

This probably sounds awful..but I'm afraid if I can't make it better that when she does pass on...I'm going to have so many regrets for not trying harder. It's just that if you give her an inch, she tries to take more and it just never stops. If I was to deny her..she gets angry and says no one cares...well how can they? When all she wants to do is take from them?

I didn't have time to take her home first before taking my son to the ball game, so I let him drive so he could "show off" in front of Grandma. It was the first time she had ever rode with him. She didn't say anything...not "good job" not "you're a fine driver"...nothing. She only wants to recieve compliments, never give them out.

Look at this....all I wanted to do was thank you two for being so compassionate to my situation, but here it is morning now...and I'm still upset and writing a book.