[DianaB]

I think that, like khardy (Kim), I would just stay away from all of the family gatherings and let your husband deal with his family get-togethers. Or you could go to the gathering and just plan, as soon as the first word came out of your FIL's mouth, to go home. You don't have to put up with it!

My in-laws get upset with me (mostly aunt-in-laws, go figure) and I either plan a smart remark to say back to her or I plan on leaving. My husband didn't use to stand up for me when his family attacked me and it really hurt that he could never pick sides and when he did it was usually against me. I could tell you some awful stories about how I was treated.